Obesity Support Group
This community is dedicated to those of us struggling with obesity. Obesity is thought to be a significant risk factor in certain health conditions, leading to increased mortality. Find the support you need by sharing your story, asking questions, and learning from others on how they have coped.
I have a 12 year old daughter who I was just informed by her pediatrician that she is morbidly obese. I am ashamed that I let her get to this point; I knew she was overweight, but I didn't realize just how overweight she was. Her sister was a little overweight and she started to lose it when she was about 12 (she is 14 now), her brother did the same thing when he was about 13, I thought she would too. Now the doctor is talking a possible gastric bypass for my 12 year old if we cannot get her weight under control!!
She just informed me Friday that middle school has basically been hell for her. She is in the 7th grade this year, so she started last year, but she has been carrying this hurt for nearly two years. I am in the process of pulling her out of school to homeschool her to avoid the bullying, but I want to help her to lose weight without having to resort to drastic surgery.
I have always had the tendency to be thin for some reason, so I really don't know how to start a healthy, but effective weight loss program for a kid. I have been trying to limit the junk that I buy and we just drink water, but I am so sad when she is crying telling me how hard it is to not be able to have what or as much as she wants! I can't imagine how difficult it must be for a child to try to change, I can't even quit smoking in the face of emphysema and lung problems.
Are there any really good programs that might help us. She needs to lose weight pretty quickly, but in a healthy lifestyle change type of way. Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Also any advice about talking to her and making her feel better while going through this change, and overall would be greatly appreciated!! Thank you!
She just informed me Friday that middle school has basically been hell for her. She is in the 7th grade this year, so she started last year, but she has been carrying this hurt for nearly two years. I am in the process of pulling her out of school to homeschool her to avoid the bullying, but I want to help her to lose weight without having to resort to drastic surgery.
I have always had the tendency to be thin for some reason, so I really don't know how to start a healthy, but effective weight loss program for a kid. I have been trying to limit the junk that I buy and we just drink water, but I am so sad when she is crying telling me how hard it is to not be able to have what or as much as she wants! I can't imagine how difficult it must be for a child to try to change, I can't even quit smoking in the face of emphysema and lung problems.
Are there any really good programs that might help us. She needs to lose weight pretty quickly, but in a healthy lifestyle change type of way. Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Also any advice about talking to her and making her feel better while going through this change, and overall would be greatly appreciated!! Thank you!
Sorry can't help with recommendations.
The danger with homeschooling her is you will teach her to hide from the world. Instead, teach her that her body is amazing and she should love it, and teach her to be resilient in the face of trouble and face up to it rather than running away from it. Does her current school have no bullying policy? I would have thought it should be the bullies who were forced out not their victim. You should talk with the teachers and ensure the bullies are disciplined. Otherwise it seems like they got off scot free while she was forced to leave. If you do homeschool her, make sure she mixes with other kids regularly too, the risk is she could retreat into herself and struggle later when she has to face, for example, university, or the world of work, where you do face nastiness and bullying but just have to suck it up and keep going to pay the bills.
I would say the important thing is not food but exercise. Try to find a form of exercise she enjoys - don't force her to exercise as this will put her off for life. Encourage her to try different things, maybe martial arts or dance or yoga for example, things she would not get the chance to do at school. Find local beauty spots and take her walking, go on walking holidays and enjoy the fresh air together.
Another idea is working together to fix your issues - while she starts to exercise and eat healthily, you could quit smoking and encourage each other on the journey. You could put away the money you would have spent on junk food and cigarettes, and save for something you would both like, maybe a holiday or a computer, some of the consoles have sports games which can be a lot of fun. You could have a star chart on the wall for motivation and give yourselves small treats. If she sees you can fight your problems, she will be inspired to try with her own struggles. Also if you quit smoking you will be more able to exercise with her, and will have more money for her exercise classes or more expensive healthier foods. Not to mention the benefit to your own health.
I agree with Lizzie, focus on exercise. You might find a program where you live, but if not; Do it with her. Find something you both like. It needs to be fun. Try different things, if possible. We played soccer with the kids in the group home, we spent time swimming and also went hiking with a camera (and make taking pictures the focus of the trip). We arranged dance nights (all girls). We bought a pilates tape (only one girl liked that). I lost some weight myself being that active, but was in great shape despite being big. And the same was true about the girls. One of them lost a lot of weight, the others some but all of them develped great physic; good blood pressure, excellent heart rate during exercise, and strong useful muscles. We also did things like arts and crafts in the evening instead of TV since TV tends to encourage snacking in the evening...I know it is different in a family but I think a lot of what we did is possible to do at home.
Good luck to both of you,
Susanne