There are men who want large women. They are drawn to them and find them very desireable. There is even a type of fetish where men get arroused by feeding women and watching them gain weight. So, its not always a question of anyone "settling".

Not Nice, I think we all get caught up in society s idea of what a beautiful woman is. But beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. I am sure you have alot more to offer your husband other than your looks as well.I think a man that can be honest with himself,and not be swayed by what society says he should accept is to be admired.My husband ,who is a large man says he has always been attracted to women that have some meat on their bones.Take a good look at yourself.And see the beauty your hubby sees in you.

HELLO,MY NAME IS JOHN.PLEASE DON"T FEEL ALONE IN THIS CAUSE I AM 62 326 AND AM 5"11 I TOO SEE MYSELF IN THE SAME SITUATION,BUT U R LUCK.MY SIGNIFICANT OTHER{ALSO KNOWN AS THE DAUGHTER OF SATIN} ALOT OF TIMES USES IT IN AN ARGUMENT,LIKE YOU FAT WHALE OR HOW CAN U LOOK AT YOURSELF.ALOT OF TIMES I THINK SHE IS CORRECT.SHE EVEN PUT A PICTURE OF ME ON THE REFRIG SAYING "ONCE THE HULK {LIKE HULK HOGAN "THE WRESTLER" NOW THE BULK.YOUR HUSBAND LOVES U FOR WHAT U R,TOTALLY.WEIGHT GAIN SUCKS REALLY,REALLY SUCKS.MOST PROBLEMS IT}S NOT WHAT U EAT BUT THE SIZE OF THE PROPORTION.--YOUR FRIEND JOHN

Hello:
If your husband has been with you for 10 yrs, he loves you for the person you are. We are not defined by our size.
Sure we should strive for a healthy weight to feel better and do the things we would like, but there is more too it than just our wrapping.It is what on the inside that counts.
Please put your mind at ease, and your husband loves you for being you....
Have a great week....

Well some men do like bigger women. Others maybe spouse was smaller when they met but regardless of weight gain they love that spouse. Iean to just leave over weight when you love someone is crazy. Others just look past the weight. They see the person for who they are. I was honestly tiny when I met my partner. I after 3 kids no longer am tiny. I think I despise it more than him. I struggle with losing.

I believe that if someone truly loves you that it doesnt matter what size you are. They love you for who you are. I know this to be true as I have been with my fiance for over five years now. I am 450 pounds I have always been a big woman and would wonder why she was with me but I now know that she loves me for me. Even when i dont love myself she loves me enough for the both of us. And I can now say that i deserve love just like anyone else despite my size, which is something i didnt always believe.

He loves you for what is in your heart. I am a large woman and I hubby was not over weight when we met, he say what was on the inside and loves me for me. To him I am beautiful inside and out.
I am sure your hubby feels the same way. As for getting over it, that is hard. You are not a whale, try to remember you are beautiful on the inside and just because you are over weight does not mean you are not beautiful.
I am kinda rambling but want you to know he loves you for you and please call yourself beautiful not a whale. :)

Some men see only superficial beauty while others see the beauty of the soul. We may change shape but we are still beautiful, how cold we not be, we are the same person no matter what.And I see pictures here of sweet warm faces with loving expressions!

I appreciate all of your responses so much! My husband does love me for who I am and I know that. but i guess..when i step back and look at myself...i dont love me for who i am. I figure this goes much deeper than just gaining weight and being overweight. I imagine my loathing myself starts back when I was a kid of about 7. Molested by tons of different men that would be brought home by my biological mother, watching a close family friend get stabbed to death and die right in front of me around that same age, raising my little brother who was 4years younger than I, having to grow up too fast, moving from one city to another, one state to another, missing months of school at a time, not having any stability or friends, getting behind on grades, watching men beat the crap out of my biological mother .then having her choose and marry one of my molesters, taking him over her own children and thats just the tip of the iceberg. although, this is not the forum for all that. Heck, I dont think there is a forum for all that. :/ There are so many things Im sure play into my weight gain as well as i do have alot of health issues .that caused the weight gain. ive decided against weight loss surgery...i dont trust it. I rarely leave our apt., crap i barely leave the couch. i live in my pajamas...only dress if i have the VERY RARE doctors appt. I dont want to die....but i just dont have the desire to really live..... Bless you all for your time and wonderful sentiments :) they are certainly very appreciated!

oh and JOHN....you deserve better than the way you're being treated by your significant other.....you dont have to take it! ;) lots of hugs and big ol' hen peck on the cheek!

I feel fat and gross and hate myself the way I am and feel like no one will ever find me attractive.
Not only am I fat, I have bipolar and 8 kids, so no man will ever want me :) I told my best guy friend I was going to die miserable and alone, and he told me to embrace that then. Maybe I need to.