Obesity Support Group

This community is dedicated to those of us struggling with obesity. Obesity is thought to be a significant risk factor in certain health conditions, leading to increased mortality. Find the support you need by sharing your story, asking questions, and learning from others on how they have coped.

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sparrowsfly 05/12/2015

I have consistently used food as a form of escapism. My emotions are very closely linked to it. Growing up, food was used as a punishment/reward system, so now that I'm an adult I have an actual connection to it. If I'm served and given a slightly smaller portion, I have to talk myself down from being hurt or feeling less worthy then the person who was given the larger portion.

Now, I find that when I don't feel properly connected to people, I force my food connection. I have little to no self control with it. I can be sitting there, eating cookies, and my brain is yelling at my hands and mouth to stop, but I don't. Even buying them. Tonight, I went to the shop to get some toothpaste, and walked out with the toothpaste and 6 bags of sweets.

I enjoy fruits, vegetables, etc. Loads of healthy things, so it isn't all crap. But if I'm not slightly uncomfortably full, then I'm generally looking for something to push me over the edge. I want to be healthy, and no longer feel bad about my body. I have lived this way for my entire life, and have no memories of being attractive. I go through phases of exercise, but as long as I am in love with food, I'll never be able to be healthy, because I won't have a healthy relationship with it.

If anyone has overcome an unhealthy emotional relationship with food, I would love some help.

deleted_user 05/12/2015

Hi Sparrow:
I just want to let you know you are not alone. I too love to eat and everything, the good and the bad, but do not give up trying to change. Little steps mean a lot. I can be good for a few days, but than resort back to bad habits. It is hard when we have been doing this all of our life. Just one day at a time....

kikinash 05/15/2015

"Dating food" sounds about right. Plus, unlike other "addictions" it's not like you can just give it up. Smoking, drugs, etc you can live without. You must have food to survive and that makes it more difficult!

I know what you mean about going to the store to get one thing and come out with sweets. I went to the store yesterday and started off good! I had some bananas and strawberries in the cart but by the time I left I had some cookies (for me), brownies (for my son but I ate 2 of them) and some ice cream (also for my son and I bought a kind I don't like so I won't eat it. lol). It's hard to break the habit of junk food. I get these really strong chocolate cravings. When I do binge eat I try to do it when nobody is going to be around. I just sit in front of the TV and eat. I hate myself for it later but it doesn't stop me unfortunately. :/

ammarie 05/15/2015

I do the EXACT same thing! Though, food wasn't used as a punishment/reward system my eating does go hand in hand with my emotions. I find with myself it helps to praise every small, good decision. Even if it's something as small as NOT eating another cookie even when you really want to. If you can do that consistently, maybe start doing things like substituting the food you wanna divulge in with a carrot or something healthy and full of fiber and a glass of water. I know that's easier said than done though. Once I really really want something it basically becomes an obsession. I have noticed that sometimes if I make myself eat something healthy, while I obsess over what I really want and then get myself busy I eventually stop thinking about the craving. It's like it kindof tricks my body into thinking that I divulged on that. Those little moments seem like they're not much, but even those little moments build up on each other and all of a sudden you realize you've created better habits. Sugar is also very addictive, so like most addictive substances if you can get it out of your system you won't crave it as intensely. I hope that helped. I feel like I went all over the place with my advice, but when I come upon someone that feels the same way as I do, it's hard for me to not just blurt it all out. LOL :) You can totally do this though.

jeanielivinglife 05/18/2015

Food is my reward, comfort my addiction. I am really am dating food. Very well put. The only thing that has worked for me on any time period is writing it down.
I just joined a fitness group that meets twice a week, so exercise, medis my doctor put me on and journals about food eaten are my plan.....
advice?
I will keep working on food addiction and loving myself well!

needtoreboot 05/18/2015

Yep. And I want to break up with the ones that are really attractive and sweet-talking and SO not good for me.

I might have a little fling with one every couple of months or so ;-)

@kiki, I get what youre' saying about needing food to survive. I have this discussion with myself though that while I need to eat to survive, cookies, cake, fried foods and breads aren't essential to my health. What I really need to survive is good nutritious food. The rest is a treat. I can have treats....I just can't live on 'em.

joannannotti 05/18/2015

I've been reading lots of articles about breaking habits and forming new habits. One of the suggestions was rewarding yourself with something (even food) for your efforts. Now this sounds reasonable , but may be difficult. I have broken up very small pieces of dark chocolate bark with almonds and sea salt...the size of a small pinky fingernail. I've started rewarding myself when I've accomplished something (like getting through an entire day without mindless snacking) or going for a 30-minute walk. Not sure if this is going to help or hurt me....but I'm willing to give it a try. I've tried other reward systems...like treating myself to a man-pedi, massage etc... That reward system has never worked well for me. I'm hoping my tiny, tiny pieces of chocolate will be a differrent story!
Jo

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