I see what you're saying, but, I really think you've constructed a false sense of safety and security in how you view your body. My suggestion is that you do some soul-searching and ask yourself in what ways do you see your obesity as a safety net.

Our bodies are really nothing more than vessels that carry us through life. Who we are - who we REALLY are - the essence of everything that is wonderful and mysterious and unique about us, has nothing to do with the current number on the scale. That special you would still be there once you reach your normal weight and have a normal-sized body...only it would be enhanced, because it would then have a normal-sized, better-functioning body to carry around all that wonderfulness. (Seriously...)

Our physical bodies are important because they're our transportation through life. They help afford us a quality of life...vitality, health and longevity. But, who we really are transcends our physical bodies...and doesn't depend on the size of our physical bodies...

Good question, hon! Very thought-provoking!

Janice : )

It is wonderful that you have this deep insight about how much you are emotionally connected to your safety net ( your size ). I too had this thought and realized I must grieve the loss of the heavy me just like when I was heavier I grieved the loss of my thiiner self and the life I could have had. Just take it one day at a time and if you start getting scared don't let this thought push you back into the food ( this is a head game we play). Ride the feelings through and you will see there is a better life in your new physical body then the one you have now.
Also learn to set boundaries, this is why you need the safety net to began with.

Hey, hon...had another thought I wanted to share with you.

One of the mis-conceptions I have about my obesity is that, while I don't like it, and want to change it, I think I sub-consciously view my size as a kind of "protection" against a world that hasn't been all that kind to me to this point. It think I almost see my body as a physical barrier that says, "...stay out, because you're probably an asshole anyway...just like all the other assholes who have hurt me in my life...".

Sometimes when I see very petite women, who weigh all of 90 lbs on a good day, I think, "...geez...they're defenseless. Someone who would want to hurt them could just pick them up and carry them away. Not so with me though." It's funny an weird when you think about it. But, I think that's part of the mis-conception I have about my body. That 90 lb woman could very easily run away from someone who would do her harm...not so with myself.

Great question!
Janice : )

Thanks for the advice all. I think it's a great idea to take time to grieve the 'fat' body before I can start celebrating the new one.

Thanx, hugs.

This is a thought process I have said MANY times. In my case, I feel like if I am thin, people will expect more from me and what if I disappoint? Is it really better for people to have no expectations, then be surprised when I do things? I am working on this also, I am in grad school and just recieved an invitation to the honor society. My very first thought was- well of course! they can see me! Even I know how stupid that thought was. my fat is my safety net for people knowing how intelligent I am, how athletic I was and prevention from men taking me seriously when I am in a flirty mood.
Wow, never actually wrote all that. But, you are not alone!! I refer to me fat as my safety blanket, and when that's gone, what will I have?? So, rather than try some 'you will be great and still the same person' which i know is not true, I found another safety blanket to replace the one I have. I bought myself a wonderful ring that says 'Anything is Possible" and have worn that every day. it's only been a week, so we will see ho wit goes!

Sara

I know what you mean..When I was at my lowest at 260, It's a mental issue on seeing me in shape and new found lifestyle. Back then when I was losing, did not understand my new shape at all and was not prepared..which I started to binged and back to the comfort zone.

Its a mental state of mind on how we prepared on our shape.and the lifestyle that comes with it.

I guess when people say when you are ready on losing, it includes the mental asspect of how our bodies will transform.