I understand. I have been having alot of depression with not being able to do what I used to as well. I have a pending disablility claim in the appeal stage now. I work about 9 hours a week, seem to get nothing done around the house. I feel like such a financial burden sometimes. Even my hobbies have suffered so. I love hiking but can only go for like 20 minutes and have to go with a friend because I fall frequently and because of C have trouble getting up and making it home. It is really cold now and I can't chance falling asleep in the woods when it's under 20 degrees. I did that once years ago after falling off a horse, but luckily someone's dog found me. I spend alot of time with my horse, but I used to be a great rider, now I just kind of walk and jog around a little bit, just to enjoy it, but if I do anything fast or exciting I get C and get to tired and have to stop. I used to ride for hours and now 15-20 min and I'm totally wiped. I miss being active and athletic and dependable. I not only loved working alot, I was really good at the jobs I held. I was the kind of person who covered shifts and trained new employees. I used to help people, not be the one asking for help. I really am happy with my life, I just sometimes feel so guilty that I never amounted to more. I'm only 30 and I feel my life winding down so fast with each year that it scares me.
I think winter is extra tough, I think we spend alot of our very precious energy just trying to stay warm, so we have less to use for other stuff. Also too with the days shorter there is more time to be inside and I think that makes me feel down too. I hope you feel better and don't feel ashamed. It's hard enough we have to live with the limits that we do, but having to live with guilt and shame because of those limits is extra unneeded stress and I think the guilt feels worse than the symptoms hands down. Good luck-I wish you good days ahead!!!