Just because you can't see it now doesn't mean it isn't there. I forget that often myself. Who do you have in your life you trust and can talk to real time? There are usually kind counselors at battered women's shelters who know all about how hard it can be to leave someone who treats you badly. They I recommend giving them a call, they are there because they want to help. Not sure if you qualify as "battered"? I don't know your situation but battering isn't always physical assault. Words and behaviors cause pain too. They understand that at battered women's hotlines. The stress reduction from getting him out of your life my help alleviate your N symptoms. Whether or not it does, it will free up some energy for you to work on getting yourself healthy and strong, so you can put all your inner resources into having a life even in spite of narcolepsy.

I stayed in an abusive relationship for 10 years because i didn't know how to leave. I had tried to leave once before and was physically assaulted. In the end i did it with friends who were willing to back me up and be there because i knew he wouldn't react while there was someone else around. For me the bottom line was to have someone else there. It was the scariest thing i have ever had to do in my life. You need to talk to people you trust and tell them what you want to do. I'm sure you will get support and between you come up with solutions. Unfortunately though other than running away, just packing up and leaving while he is not there... you will have to face him and tell him. I completely understand where you're coming from though. I promise you it will be worth it x

thanks. I managed to end things with my now ex. I was harder to end it because I knew I was causing him so much pain. He was emotionally and verbally abusive. I broke his heart and a part of mine. Now I feel more alone than ever. As bad as things would get he never judged my illness. I worry that I'll never find someone who will accept my illnesses. I hate having N and my heart issue and now adding that my liver maybe in trouble it's like i cant win.

Don't be afraid that you won't find someone. There are caring accepting people out there who support you and not abuse you. I am living proof of that. I met a wonderful man online (who also has a few health issues). We accept and support each other and it is great. We have been together a year now. Keep your friends close..you don't need many, in fact one true friend is worth 100 who don't make an effort to understand.

They say the first step is the hardest, and you have made that step. Time to concentrate on getting your health under control. Spend as much time as you can with people you like to be around, who make you feel good. Feel free to message me anytime you want. I'm in Australia so don't forget the time difference. x