Are you looking for a nurse or a girlfriend? :-) Why don't you get your MG under control so that it becomes a side issue, not the main topic of conversation. That really is a priority. b.

Hi
Interesting.....You asked for advice so here I am ...more than willing to give it.
First....as I read what you had to say.....I see your ex spouce as the weak one. Sorry but your MG didn't kill your marriage...it may have from your point of view but for me..it has made my marriage stronger because my husband has been there for me.
Second....Mg is not you. It does not have to define you. many people act weaker than we do. And we really are very able.
My advice would be who you are and do your best to put the MG on the side lines. I know this is hard...but you are a new person and MG is not that person.
Build. on your strengths. I weakness is our strength.
Redefine yourself and leave MG out of the picture as much as possible.
We are stronger now than ever because we know ourselves and we most likely can see more clear than many others.
have a great day.
Date, meet people and leave MG in the dust.
Ann

Get the MG under control to a point where you feel confident about yourself. Move forward from there.

Healthy is important for starters.

My Aunt is married to a wonderful man who is both deaf and blind.
When they were dating he put his hand in hers and signed, "Are you sure you want me? They tell me I'm not a very good looking man.". She signed back to him, "Well, I am fat."
They laughed and moved forward with their relationship.

I write this because you are not expected to be perfect... and the women you meet will not be either.

You wrote:
"I'm not sure if my good qualities that make me who I am are capable of outweighing the MG, and the limitations they pose."

Although I can understand where you are coming from with this, I don't believe you will find the woman you deserve until you get past it.
For years I have told my husband, "I would marry you again today" as part of our loving flirtation with each other.
During the MG processing this year, there was a day when I looked at him and said I would not marry him today. He was confused and asked me why I did not choose him that day. I told him I would never knowingly put him through this. I wish I had a beautiful comeback to quote, but he said nothing.
I write this because I have also had my feelings of worthlessness.
I want you to know I understand. I want you to know that you already are better and can bring more to the relationship than the MG takes out of it. You DESERVE to know this!
I would start by focusing on the "CAN DOs"... that works for me!

Love, Becca

Speaking from experience and at the time I met my wife now I didn't have MG but was taking care of my father. One evening I went to a nursing home. My mother worked there and she wanted me to come to a fall festival there. I had been thinking about putting my father in a nursing home and just wanted to check it out. There I met the woman I am married to now she helped me with my Dad until he passed. If I had not met her I would be by myself somewhere in Montana with MG but I believe fate has a hand in peoples lives. I don't know where me having MG will take me right now but I do know she will stay with me. So you need to give it time I think it will happen you need to take care of yourself first someone will come along who will accept you and the things going on with you. My wife now has been through alot with me and I with her. That is what it is all about my friend give fate a chance. I was always told when I played sports years ago we are going to get our house in order boy's you do the same, someone will come along when you least expect it.

Thanks for all the advice guys. I'm in the process of getting my MG under control. I just don't want to get my hopes up too high, in case I don't respond to the meds. I have been through that before, 8 years ago with the Mestinon, and the steroid one, and they didn't work for me. I'm hoping now that I am worse they will at least return me to that time period, or somewhere in between then and now. I am optimistic, but I don't want to built it up too high, if that makes sense. If I can get it under better control, I have a feeling these worries will fade a bit.

My wife caused our marriage to fail, but chose to blame me as the reason. She claims my MG robbed me of everything, but I personally don't believe that. Had she given me a chance, I would of proven that wrong. But sadly she shut her heart to me, so not much that could be done about that one. I will definitely take your advice Ann. I want to leave my MG out of the picture as much as possible. I don't want it to define me, but that is what I fear people will perceive.

Thank you Becca for your encouraging words. It is amazing when two people find each other and can just be happy. I guess I haven't found that, so I don't know what it is like. I see my parents, but it seems different to me I guess. I have felt where you have been quite a lot, that I don't want to put anyone through it, and that I'm useless because of it. I'm rebuilding myself with the mindset that I am still useful, and in my heart I know I'm capable of some things. I'm personally tired of beating myself up over something I have no control over. Seeing the DR for help is my first step in working on overcoming it, and I will do everything in my power to make me feel better.

It was suggested that I put myself out there, so that is why I did it. I think it is for a confidence building exercise, and that is what I'm working on now. While finding a girlfriend is desired, I'm not really looking for one. I'm more interested in friendship that can lead into that if that makes sense. My other exercise is to write a journal entry detailing my marriage. I still haven't done that one, as I fear the flood gates of emotions will come again.

Thank you all again for all the advice and wisdom. I hope I answered everyone. I am very grateful for everything you guys do, and am so glad to be apart of this group and family that is here.

I wonder if the "love" muscle on a man is a voluntary or involuntary muscle? Probably should get some advice on that first ;--)

That is a good question Russ. I don't know. I assume everyone wants to be loved though.

The "Right One" will come to you when you least expect it. It all comes with time.
Best of luck to you. in due time you will meet that special someone who will love you for you.


Blessings irene