Depression is a treatable condition, but there are challenges. The biggest challenges to treatment are the reluctance of people to seek help for it and the failure of doctors to dx it accurately and manage it aggressively.

Seeking help for depression doesn't mean that you're giving in to it. Instead it means you're strong enough to take charge of your well being. Because the research shows that depression doesn't just clear up by itself, the sooner you begin to take care of it, the sooner you're going to feel better. Call your doctor and get some help for yourself. Depression goes hand-in-hand with MS and is treatable. Good Luck and many {{{HUGS}}}

Hi,

It is true, I had never experienced depression before MS. After my symptoms began I found myself in a dark hole I could not climb out of on my own. It took a good friend to recognize the signs of depression in me and suggest seeing my doctor about it to get me headed towards the light again. My doctor put me on antidepressants and suggested I speak with a therapist. It worked well for me. You do not have to suffer with depression, it is treatable!

Hugs, Cathy

Awe, I too have been pretty tearful these last couple of weeks. And yes it's treatable, and it ISN'T your fault. I never wanted to be " THAT GIRL" Always been strong, chipper, level headed and girl you have had to be to be a nurse! You and I are still all of those things. We are just burdened with a shit load of symptoms and in your case..an illness that causes depression in most cases! Me personally..I will get help if this continues as I refuse to set here and cry and be angry! I'm much to stubborn for that =) Good luck girlie!!

About 10 years ago, I was in the neurologist's office for a visit and during that time found out (for the first time) that MS and depression (and cognitive issues as well) were associated. I've had MS since 1987 but have been lucky to not have much depression. Anyway, I asked the doctor if depression had an organic( MS) cause... would there be a way to tell whether it was caused directly by MS or was just "normal" depression (whatever that is). I figured they could do brain mapping and maybe figure something out with an MRI depending on where MS lesions were... you know, diagnose depression by MRI without ever asking how I felt.

He said that if I was depressed but there was no reason for me to be depressed, that depression at that point would probably have an organic cause related to brain degeneration. He said to ask myself, if I felt depressed, whether there was a reason for it... you know, depressing life events, etc. In that case, if there was a good reason to be depressed, he said that that sort of depression was probably not MS related.

What the??? Okay, I have MS. That is reason enough to be depressed right there. That doctor's reasoning was completely insane. Anyone with MS has a reason right there to be depressed... and the complications MS adds to life, organic or otherwise, are often even more depressing.

I've often thought that if I just had the MS to deal with, I would be able to summon the strength to get through it... but as you mentioned... we have so many issues to deal with. If we are in a marriage or relationship, there is always a fear looming over our heads that perhaps our loved one will leave once the MS gets "bad enough" or we become too much of a burden. So, instead of just worrying that we might wake up tomorrow with one more layer of difficulty added physically, we always have to worry how MS will impact our relationships, our emotions, and every other area of our lives.

You mentioned your sister who has a perfect life. If everyone understood how heroic it is of all of us to be stuck in bodies that don't work (and continually get worse) and how brave it is of us to just keep going... perhaps we could all let go of the dreams of a perfect life... if we felt understood and respected for the challenges we face. But, that is one more complication MS adds to life. People associate energy and ability with moral goodness and attractiveness... so while we are stuck in the physical challenges MS creates, we also have to fight the human tendency everyone (including ourselves) has to see us as weak and unattractive. We have the almost impossible challenge of having to see ourselves as worthwhile in spite of MS and often without outside reassurance.

Once we get there, valuing ourselves as good and brave and worthy and lovable, in spite of our disease, appearance, and lessened ability, others in our lives will be more likely to agree with us. But it is hard getting there... to the point where we have a calm acceptance about our disease, our worthiness, and our desirability in spite of it.

We might be creating a burden in many cases. It would be better to not be disabled and have to ask our loved ones to accept that. But, we are all worth it... the effort it takes to deal with this difficult set of circumstances.... and the effort it takes to love and accept us. I used to look to my husband for reassurance, but he is too scared to give it. I have had to muster the courage to see myself as worth the effort and worthwhile no matter how disabled I become. Now that I do, my husband seems far less fearful and far more loving... which is really reassuring. I have a calm acceptance about myself and I think that he's lucky to have me, no matter how bad the MS gets.

And then, on top of that, we have so many dreams lost to this disease. You mentioned wishing you had a child with the man you love. I bet all of us could make a list of dreams MS has stolen from us. It is sad, but please don't ignore your loss or your feelings. You will have to deal with your difficult feelings in order to come to any level of acceptance and peace. If you feel like you have to quickly ask for forgiveness for being selfish, you may never get to the grief you feel, and need to feel, in order to let it go.

When I read your post and how you kept saying that no one understood, I kept thinking, "I understand you! I totally understand exactly what you are talking about!" You asked how you would be able to get a grip when no one understands. We understand you here, but I don't know if anyone without MS (or other disabling issues) in your life will ever understand, really. For me, the strength and understanding had to come from ME alone... and no one else. My husband will never understand but I don't fault him or even my disease for that. Our life is together but our individual journeys are different and separate. He has his challenges and I have mine. When you learn to see your beauty and worthiness... and you do have so much of it... the people in your life will fall in line with you.

I wanted reassurance from the outside. I wanted my husband and loved ones to tell me that I was so brave and amazing in my fight with MS. I wanted my husband to say that our marriage was stronger than the MS is... but the MS to him is foreign... and to me it is the most intimate and unfortunate thing I know. Actually, it is unfortunate for him too... he fears that it will rob him of the wife he has lived with and loved for over 22 years. He might wake up one day and realize he can't do it anymore... but if he does, I will be okay. I'll be sad and have something else to deal with, but I will be okay.

MS is really awful and there is no easy way around it. We have a burden and challenge to face that few understand. Just know that we understand you here. Good luck to you. I hope you feel better soon. :)

I think that if you can reconize that you have depression or are depressed that is a very good first step as some many people deny they have it, I did for years. Now is the time to get help, don't wait as it can get worse and than put you into that denial, and so many with MS are depressed so that is nothing new to the doctors. I went to my doc the week I started Rebif because I knew it was coming and wanted to have a handle on it before it got away from me again. I hope you seek help as do you really need another problem to go with the MS?
Good Luck
Dave

I can totally relate. Many of us can.. But the reality is, there "are" times we will get depressed and that's a fact of our disease. We just get it a little more (lucky us LOL!!!). But it's important to try and keep things in perspective.... Ichoppel is so right in saying its totally fine and probably a good idea to seek help for our depression. I just got prescribed Pristiq and am starting Physical Therapy again this week. Being active also decreases depression some too. I can't do much physical activity right now either, but we just do what we can. If you're like me, I tend to isolate when I get depressed...so my advise is to ry to stay connected with the "outside world" too as much as possible and not focus 100% of the MS...keep up with the activities that make you happy or maybe even do something nice for somebody else...that always makes me feel good and gets me out of myself if only for a little bit, ya know? :) (Even if it's just sending an e-card or telling somebody they look pretty that day). It's soooo hard sometimes, I can relate because I am going thru the exact same thing, but try not to beat yourself up. Writing about it here is good for you too. I hope you feel better soon.

I hear you sister! When I was going through my last relapse I did not like the whole world around me much (still am not exactly loving it ;0/.
I refused to go on any traditional meds . Consulted my nutritionist, she advised the following and those herbal things have actually helped. If you decide to try any of it I would advise putting drops in to the boiling water and waiting for it to cool down (so alcohol can evaporate)
(by Australian Bush Flower Essences) Relationship Essence; Flower Kapoc Bush; Dynamis Essence; Sturt Desert Pea; Dagger Hakea
Hope you feel better soon honey x x x x