My Dr wrote an email to my son, then 9 who was having a hard time because my MS had flared to where I wasn't walking or driving. Two things he worried about, is mommy going to die and will I get MS. Questions a lot of parents say their kids ask. In the email my Dr said,"Yes, you could get MS...you could also fly to moon". He then went onto explain that his job was to goto chool, myabe someday become a Dr, that moms job is to get bettter and Dr job is to help mom. He explained that if one of us doesn't do our job none of could. My son has the email somewhere, I have to find it. Answering their questions with honest to the point answeres was how I handled it. Sometimes we name a pillow MS and beat it up. They talk to other people. They are getting through it, learning to adapt with each change. I also tell them every family has a "reality" divorce death, illness...and this is "our reality".
If you start a conversation with kids they usually ask only what they want to know and tune out the rest.
Every child, regardless of family life, should be resilent. This is an oppurtunity to teach them. No, it is not as simple as a quick reply in a window on a post but it also wasn't as bad as I imagined it could be.

The NMMS has coloring books, pamphlets and even a game that can help them understand and help parents find the words. Some local societies have outings for families.

Good luck with your decisions. {{Tara}}}
Suz ....KTF

It may scare them more if you hide it. There are better treatments and not everyone winds up the same way.
There is some pretty good info out there now about how to tell kids. I hate to admit I never checked it out. Mine was older.. by the time this stuff came out.
I would be open, it's bad enough without hiding it. Then when you do decide to tell. You have to explain why you hid it.
If you don't act scared maybe they won't

I am no expert on this as I am still waiting to finally hear that I'm diagnosed. (As I am sure you know, the process of being diagnosed is very draining) My mom has been sick with Kidney disease my whole life and has been getting tested for MS for the passed 2 years. I told my mom about my MRIs that I've been having done and about the lesions they found. She has been an amazing influence for me. Sometimes it feels like nobody understands what you feel or what you go through when you're sick. Just knowing that my mom has gone through most of what I am going through is a huge comfort for me and you may find this by telling your mom. I will admit that my mom did cry for three days straight because she thought it was her fault that I am sick. I am a Christian woman (sorry, I don't know if you are or not) but myy reply to her was that if the Lord didn't want me to learn from this and go through this trial he wouldn't let me. I let her know that it wasn't her fault and that I am okay with it. I don't know how much of a comfort this was to her, but it seemed to help. I am only 23 and don't have any kids yet so I don't know what to tell you about your kids.

Tara, I kind of know where you're comning from. The day they told me it looked like I had MS, my mother-in-law passed away. We hadn't told our girls yet about my diagnosis. We were hoping it would change. The next day, we had to tell our girls that it looked like I had MS. We stayed in town until I had my muscle testing Friday and it was done where I work. I was afraid someone would say something in front of the girls. We went to Texarkana to the funeral home as soon as I finished the muscle testing. We had to come back that night (Friday night) because they were admitting me on Saturday morning.

My girls handled it well. It was months later that my oldest daughter told me we had lied to them when we told them I'd be okay. She finally understood that we had to learn more about the condition. At the time, it was so new to us, we hadn't really had time to find out what it was going to be like.

They can see now that I am okay. I did about six months in a wheelchair, but I'm out of it now.

They really handled it better than I did. They're proving to be very strong.

Hope it works out for you. You will know what to do when the time comes.

Karen

All of you, thank you so much for your advice! It really does help.
Tara

I've got a different take on this, I would be honest with kids and tell spouse. Sometimes if their young it is not worth getting into it with kids. I also have a different belief than some here. Depending on your relationship I wouldn't tell employer. Just like with many subjects, when you feel your kids are old enough to understand and ask questions you should tell them.

Larry

So sorry to hear about your disease and your Mom's. I know my dtr in law thinks about this all the time, with her having MS. She always wonders if her 7 yr. old will get it. She was diagnosed in 2001 when Olivia was 1. She is doing fair. She is on a drug called tysabri and has been one year free of no episodes. I think it would be wise to discuss this with your dad and see what he says. Prayers for you and your MOM. Judy

Ok, this is just my opinion. I would tell your children as they are very smart and always know when we aren't telling them things. As for your mom, if she does not have to much longer to live, well I would not tell her and make her worry that you might be like her. If she will be around for awhile then I would tell her because
she may see one of your flares and recognize it. Also when you tell your children stress to them that you will more than likely not be like grandma because it is different for everyone. Be honest with them 100%. I was with my daughter. She was about 7 when I was dx'd and she took it very well and now she is asking more questions and we look up the answers if I don't know them. she has even gone to the neuro appointment with me and asked questions.
I wish you luck.
Morgaine