Hi, first thing you need to do is breath, relax, I know It's almost impossible, but stress only makes symptoms worst. Before you can feel well enough to react, you need to breath, listen to your breathing, close your eyes and feel your body,,and breath.

Alma

And research this board. You will see that MANY people here endure spasms on a daily, sometimes hourly basis. They can be exhausting, painful and life altering. I have twice posted advice to you on your eye spasms. You need to see a doctor. For your eye problem probably a neuro opthalmologist or at least an opthalmologist. We are not doctors here, as you acknowleged in your rather rude post stating you were leaving this group.

We are people with MS or strong clinical symptoms suggestive of MS. And as such we advise and support each other when we need it as best we can. We are not diagnosticians. Please see an appropriate doctor and work to figure it out. That is what all of us have to do.

Melanie

Melanie,

I am so glad that you answered this. I know I was rude, beyond rude. I posted a general apology on the board.I am not sure if it is on the first page but it may be on the second.

However, I am very thankful that you wrote because I was trying to apologize personally to you, lisa and lynne. I was able to apologize to lynne but I didn't know how to find you and lisa. You see I have to do all my posting and replies on my "beginners" smart fone. And for some reason it is not showing yalls pictures any more. I really know everyone by their pictures first and then their names.

I wrote some of my apology to you in my other posting. I would like to take this opportunity to apology to you in person. I don't remember everything you said or what I said. The following is what I do remember:

I know that you said you don't believe in fibro. Now I KNOW this is your belief. You have said it on different occasions. You always add that you believe that docs tend to dx fibro when they can't figure out what else it is and (I'm kinda adding this part) they are too lazy to fully investigate the illness. When you said that to me in the poor you had written on the one where I was mad at Lisa cuz she brought up my bipolar disorder. I thought that every one was thinking that I was just a big fake. It is what I have had to deal with forever. So I guess I freaked out and OBVIOUSLY did not think before I wrote.

I now know you were not saying I was a fake just becuz I had fibro. I know you were not trying to compare yourself with me when you brought up how your numbers on your RA test were much higher than mine. I think you were just talking about it.But dang girl! If your numbers are that high you NEED to be on the modifying drugs they have for RA. Not doing do puts you in major risk of definitely becoming crippled...think of not being able to use your hands or being in constant pain. If you got the dx of RA then you could get the quality drugs made just for it!

I will tell you another reason I know that there is something going on with me. My doc gave me Prednisone because he ACTUALLY did dx me with RA. This was my internist..So I was taking prednisone for about 3 months and after the first week of them making me sick...well I was finally remembering what it felt like to be human. I felt really good!! I didn't even care that it made my face fat. I was so happy! Then when I went to see my doc again he told me that only a rheumy could dx me with RA. He took me off the prednisone. I still have a half bottle and I'm such a dammed goody two shoes that I just literally quit taking them. Well the misery came back. If I could just find someone to let me take prednisone I would be a happy camper!! Despite the fact that you can actually SEE inflammation on my joints and some of my joints are already deformed.. Despite this my sed rate test is always normal.I believe that tests should be based on each person. Of course I have no idea how that could happen.

So I want you to know that I am so very sorry for blasting you like that. I promise that from now on if I am unsure of what you or any one writes I willask for clarification. Please forgive me Melanie. I am so sorry that I wrote those mean things about you.

Please watch the board. I am posting an experiment I am going to gather info from. When you see the two questions please think very carefully before you answer, and remember this I'm actually on YOUR side a lot more than you think. Getting mad at the medical community now.

Oh, I did go see a opth. And he dxed me with Dry Eye Syndrome and I'm getting these plugs put into my tear ducts. I just have to use eye gel drops. Also he dxed me with blepharospasms. He says they should go away when my eyes and thyroid get better.I do have my left eye that is protruding more than my right and it also is out of alignment. Doesn't bother me though. Have to go to Endo. since they think I have something called Hashitoxicosis.

MS specialist looked at MRI and said no signs of MS. well if thats the case what the heck happened to me earlier? You said do research here on the board. How do I do that? I'm sorry once again Melanie. I know you guys aren't docs...your much better than them cuz all of us care bout each other. Thanx for answering!

Love,

Irish

Hi Irish,

No advise, just my support. Hope things start turning around for you. I saw you mentioned you went to the eye doc and he found all kinds of issues - glad they were able to determine at least somewhat a cause but really hoping they can help it get better.

Cheers!

Thanx Shelley!

Sometimes support means more than advice! I had really needed help yesterday. I was soooo scared about those jerky twitchy things going on with my WHOLE body at one time. Then my eyes started up with the blepharospasms.....well that part was just annoying more than any thing.

What really scared me was the way it felt like around my heart was spasmimg!! That was very freaky and scarry! I came away from all that very shaken and actually limping a little worse than usual...like my left leg felt more stiff.But otherwise I was fine.

Thats the only bad thing bout boards, sometimes when you need advice or support right away there may not be anyone on at that time. But I am very thankful that you dropped by. Like I said I could really use the support of a dear friend right now...

Luv ya!!!

Tamye

Tamye,

Although you have not personally apologized for the way you attacked me, which was not only rude but mean, I forgive you.

Even with forgiveness, you still need to understand that we cannot help you get a diagnosis.

What we can do is support you when things are tough.

I sometimes have trouble explaining what I am thinking, but I will try here and hope I dont tick you off again. Have you considered that you may already have the correct diagnosis and are just not getting the right treatment? I mean. with all the diagnoses you have, is it possible that with the combination of illnesses you have that maybe you are not receiving the right treatment them?

I will also add what others have said in the past get yourself to a doctor and make someone listen to you. Even if it means showing up in the ER when you are actively having problems. I know personally that it isnt easy getting doctors to be sympathetic to our cause, but we are our own best advocates and through all the frustration we have to push forward until we have solid answers.

I wish you the best.

Lisa

I get lots of spasms and tremors regularly--taking magnesium and reducing my activities/stress really does help! Also look into a strict MS approved diet--which has lessened many of my more auxiliary symptoms like fatigue, pain, weakness, and shakes.

Hello Lisa,

Actually I did give you a personal apology in the posted as "I'm sorry" I did not know how to send it to you as A message.if you read that post it will be your apology.

Why did you choose this posting of mine to line me out? Your polar has actually made me cry. I will not say anything mean to you because I am done with that. So why am I sitting here crying? Maybe because this post was a cry for help. This post was from a I just wanted comfort from my friends. I have no local friends because I have major trust issues where friends are concerned. So why couldn't you have gone yi the I'm sorry poorest and retarded me down there,? BTW no dxed I already have have th.errol I better go this thing keeps.wow my memory sux so bad I can't even remember what I just told you...well bye now, my fibro....for lack of a more definitive term is really so I need to go take a tramadol bye bye...irishe same symptoms I have now. Oh yes please do tell me how all your tests went. Surely you have already had woman who felt like an 8 yo little girl who can't find her mommy. I wrote the above post during that horrible episode.did you even tread my polar? Did you see where it said I kept trying to write post and I kept

I thought Lisa asked a legitimate question and I didn't see anything mean about it. Is it possible that with your diagnoses you aren't getting the right treatments and that is making your symptoms worse?

Honestly, I thought Lisa's reply was nice, well-mannered, supportive, and legitimate. Tamye, your response would have made ME cry.

The best thing you can do RIGHT NOW is get to an ER. Sometimes, it's better to catch the symptoms in action. Tomorrow or next week might not yield the same test results as they would when you're in the middle of an episode.

Tamye,

Wow. I give up. I have never written ANYTHING to you that was meant out of meanness or in an attempt to call you out. Do you seriously think I read every one of your post on this board? You obviously have a problem. Your antics of speaking to me in a mean and rude way will not run me off from this board. What it will do is keep me from giving one hoot about you or how you are doing from this point on. I am not a bit*h by nature but I sure can be one when someone pushes me to that point.

Im totally done with your paranoid opinion of me.

Thanks bledpub for the sweet hug AND for defending me.

Lisa

Bled you don't have bipolar, until you have walked in my shoes for the 12 years I have had it then you really dont know what you are talking about.


Lisa, did you go to page two and read my apology to you? It was and still is a very nice and meant from the heart apology.even Lynne commented and what she had to say was very nice.

I can not understand where your anger is coming from. The post I just sent out is so jumbled and mixed up even I, the person who actually wrote the thing can not figure it out. I have said before that I have to swype this stuff on my fone cuz I don't have a computer.Lisa I am completely shocked that you wrote that stuff to me! And yo u especially with a bipolar husband for twenty years!

What first upset me was your post that hinted that maybe my physical problem were linked to my bipolar. Well of course I'm gonna strike back on that one. I have had to deal with the prejudice and stigma of my mental condition for 12 years and now I have been almost completely stable for five years. I am sorry I got so angry the first time, but come on, be fair...you know your husband would hate reading a letter like that if he was seriously sick and needed support and advice for the illness, not his bipolar. I used to think bipolar touched every aspect of my life, but with a lot of hard work I have learned that I have bipolar and I am not a bipolar.

but believe me I would never even think of something like trying to drive you off this board. I consider that very immature, something teen age girls would do, not grown, married women.

It does hurt me deeply that you said I was mean to you. Really once again how did you and bled even make out any thing in there? I was actually going through a smaller version of what happened yesterday to me and having blepharospasms. Why did you have to say that you just wii not have anything to do with me? That hurts me so much. You have really made me cry and if my pdoc were here he would tell me to go take an ativan. If my husband were here he would just bring me the ativan, yell at me forcrying about what you wrote and telling me that if the people on that board can not accept your sincere apology then get your ass outta there and go find a board that actually gives a damn.

I guess I will have Lynne read every thing including my sincere apology and just let her say what she needs to. I just never in all my years with having bipolar would have thought someone who is so knowledgeable bout bipolar would actually say those extremely cruel words to someone who does have it. My pdoc says my worst enemies in my bipolar world are no impulse control (which we all saw when I said mean things the first time) and my other enemy is way too sensitive (which accounts for my crying right now)

Finally, to BLED...how could you make out what you read or even make sense of it, there is absolutely no comprehension in that post. Also how could you ever think I was mean when I was so supportive of you and your sweet baby before your husband (then fiance) came from England to marry you, I was equally there for you when you got your Medicaid card so that your baby girl could get the medical treatment she deserves. I kept you all in my prayer, including your husband. So why would you want to just turn on me as if I were some common criminal or some alley trash....I thought we were friends. I was gonna go look for the Chimera (sp) board and talk with you there.

Lisa, I dont know how to end this. Maybe, no I DID over react the first time but I came back to the board and made a very public apology to you and Melanie. I had made my apology to Lynne earlier. Then you came to this post and read that scrambled up, mixed up mess of words and thought I was severely putting you down. I did nothing of the sort. I had just asked why you brought up the other situation on this post where I was so freaked out and could have enjoyed a heaping tablespoon of good old fashioned empathy. Now I just feel even worse. Well any way, once again I am sorry you guys took it the wrong way. I really liked yall and wanted to be friends. If you guys can't find it in your hearts to forgive me, then I guess it will be that yall chased me off the board. My f*c*ed bipolar feelings won't allow me to stay somewhere where I am so disliked. Haven't hears from Mel yet, I hope she forgives me. Luv you guys no matter what...Tamye

Tamye, you don't know what my diagnoses are. You don't know me. There are a lot of things that I keep to myself and, frankly, they aren't anyone's business.

As for my husband...um...we've been married for seven years. So I don't understand your other comment. Seeing as to how I have been a member of DS for only a year and a half I can't see how you supported me before we got married...In a previous post I said that he immigrated here to marry me but nowhere did I imply that it was recently. In fact, it's pretty well documented here on DS that I have helped people with the immigration process and related my own experiences with it.

And in what way did I turn on you?

Was it when I suggested that it was possible that you had MS and that other doctors are overlooking it and misdiagnosing it?

Was it when I suggested that maybe your symptoms aren't related and that they are instead part of your other diagnoses?

Was it when I suggested that you get to an ER NOW so that the doctors can see you in action and hopefully get to the bottom of it?

Was it when I answered your multiple posts about your symptoms and comisserated with you and told you that I hoped you'd get to the bottom of it, too?

Was it when I used the Golden Girls analogy to agree with you that just because they can't find anything wrong doesn't mean it's not there?

Was it when I stayed up long past my threshhold to wade through your very long posts and replies to tell you that I hope you get the answers that you need?

Or was it here at the end when I politely pointed out that what another poster said to you wasn't mean and was actually supportive?

Bled,

As I mentioned before I hope that everything goes well for you and your beautiful daughter. She sure is precious! I wish only the best for you and your family.

I have a husband and 2 sons to take care of. I'm so sorry I got so many details of your postings wrong. It must seem like I don't care. I don't know myself how I got that mixed up. Oh well guess thats why I'm on total and permanent disability.

So sorry my posts were so long. If you think about it, its actually a sign of selfishness to write such long posts that go on and on just about me and myself. Especially with the people here who have eye problems.

Goodbye bled, I hope things go well for you in this world. My prayers are always with you and your family...Irish

Irish, I can honestly say that the people you have referenced here have been good friends of mine for quite awhile. NEVER have I known any of them to be intentionally spiteful or mean. If you said something inappropriate or rude, then just apologize and be done with it without a long, drawn out explanation. The more you keep this thread going, the worse it's going to get. I am sorry for what you are going through. We ALL are going through a LOT. Take care, and please get your diagnosis before you come here lashing out at people for no reason. They all had good intentions, but maybe you didn't like their opinions because it wasn't what you wanted to hear. I have been on the receiving end of that too, because they CARE. Honest opinions are given here all the time, and there's no point in sugar coating anything with MS.

Amy

Amy,

I have apologized. Over and over and over. I have not been here a long time, only since january. In that time I have also shown that I care over and over and over. I wrote only ONE not nice letters. I only hurt through words 3 people. I have apologized profusely to all 3. Two have accepted my apologies. One has not accepted my apply.

I would have thought that some of my friends would have come to my defense. But it was sure nice of the ones who welcomed me back. Who accepted me as is without prejudice.

Why did you have to write what you did? Don't you think I have been hurt enough? You wrote that they would never say or do anything mean on purpose. Ok. I misunderstood Lisa post. The post started with her spicing apologizing over and over saying she hoped I would not take what she wrote the wrong way. From the very beginning Lisa knew there was a pretty big chance that I would take her post the wrong way. So,, yes I will admit that I did take it the wrong way, although to be honest I'm pretty sure I got it the right way. However its really my own fault since i brought up my bipolar which pretty much left me vulnerable to the inevitable bipolar morbid curiosity to settle in.

If you had kept up with this whole thread from the very beginning which was Lisa letter to me where she very politely asked about my meds and if I were seeing a therapist. Well, imagine yourself in my position , For over five years i have had to deal with docs who think I either make everything up or that I am a hypochondriac. all because I have a mental disorder. I am just to tired of being sick all the time and being home and bed bound. I have no support from family or friends. It is just me. I get real scarred sometimes thinking I probably do have a serious illness, I have anxiety/panic issues as well. My blood pressure gets very high when ok I have a lot of stress or anxiety. My pdoc just told me say see a week ago that I need permanent disability as he does not believe I will ever be able to hold anytype of job for very long. Bluntly put, I have no self esteem, I let myself get into situation where people take ahhhhh advantage pig me or use, me because according to my pdoc who or I have been seeing for 12 years thinks. He says I'm to vulnerable, he says that I am crushed mentally, emotionally and physically when people hurt me or simply dont like me he says I'm naive with the incense of a child. He says I'm too impulsive...dive into things without thinking about the consequences. I was dx with social immaturity as a 9 year old child and the new dx is called social anxiety.

I had hoped to come here and at lear least I could have cyber friends and they would even understand my fears and my strong desire to know what was wrong with me,

Did I post to much or not to reply enough?& I just can not understand exertions need to attack me, Especially since I did the honorable thing and apologized. I'm sorry that or I offended you by offended your friends.

Friends hopefully,
Tamye