Multiple Sclerosis (MS) Support Group

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Relationship hell

Jen-Knight-Mireles
Jen-Knight-Mireles
As if MS isnt enough crap to deal with! My husband and I are seperated. For some reason everytime we would get in a fight, he would decide its okay to cuss me out and call me names. Unfortunatly for him I have a self esteem and there is no way I am going to put up with that! I deserve so much better. I have been a good wife. I have supported him with his disability (T10 paraplegic) in every way. I give him my time, love, attention, everything. And this is what I get in return? What the heck! I dont know what happened. He never use to act like this. I asked him to leave the house over 3 weeks ago. He has been going to AA, anger management, and counseling to make things better, but the damage this has done to me physically cant be fixed or taken back. I'm miserable! I have had to go back to work and my body hates me for it. Did I say I'm miserable? Ugh! I know God only gives you what you can handle, but why do I have to always have so much to struggle through?! When can I just be happy and breathe?!!!! Hateing life right now, and it hates me right back!
Maggie222
Maggie222
Geez Jen -
You do have alot to deal with! Even the best of relationships can have struggles, but you have a double whammy, with the extra challenge of 2 people with chronic health issues/disability.
My own partner is disabled & my MS is not doing too good, but my partner is supportive, kind & loving. Although it is such, we still often struggle. No, you do not deserve abuse in any form or fashion!
Are you (justifiably) venting, or do you want your husband if his actions toward you changed? Not that you don't have plenty to be miserable about, but have you thought out a course of action?
My heart goes out to you Jen & although I have no answers, please know that the folks on this board are here to lend you an ear or a warm hug. - Maggie
koda1
koda1
Oh jeez Jen Im so sorry you have this to deal with as well, listen if you need to vent thats fine, vent all you need I dont have any advice for you but I do think having a healthy self esteem is so important we have enough vrap with out that too
Take care ok .
deleted_user
deleted_user
Jen am thinking of you, I am not in a relationship, but I have noticed I have always tried to support my friends when they are going thru things whether it be health or whatever.Since I became ill this winter and realy ill this spring(still without DX-other than highly abnormal MRI and spots on my white matter) that some of my friends and even my son are treating me different, like they are mad at me for being sick and that I have changes.Is your husband or your condition healthwise growing worse and is your husband scared.Hey this is still no excuse for him to treat you poorly.Would the both of you going together talking to a counselor who deals with couples going thru illness help.I TRULLY HOPE YOU ONLY SEE ONE SET OF FOOTPRINTS AND KNOW THAT jESUS IS CARrING YOU at this point.Sorry for caps, my fingers alwys hit wrong buttons.Do you have a minister who could be of assistance to you both.I am sorry you have to work under these circumstances, are you able to work and if so would it help you to get out of the house to work.Does your job understand you may need special accomadations etc.I will be thnking of you!!! Jen= Ellen-
bleedinblue
bleedinblue
Sorry you are dealing with so much it is hard.This disease is so hard on relationships plus the whole family and even friends.I hope trhings work out for you and take care of your health.
almairis
almairis
Hi

Sorry to know you are in such an horrible position right now. HE has a problem and needs to deal with it without abusing you. Do you qualify for social security benefits? If yes, apply and you can have a part time job without being penalized. You are too young to spend the rest of your life in an abusive relationship.

Being sick sucks but that is worst.

Keep us posted, Alma
Jen-Knight-Mireles
Jen-Knight-Mireles
Thank you all for your support! I am trying to stay strong but i feel so awful that its hard to stay positive. Im exhausted, in pain, sad, lonely, and i am the one left to take care of the house, the kids, the bills, everything! Part of me wants to break down and let him come home because i just cant do this alone! But i know if i rush this process than i will be right back where we started. I dont have any family or friends that can come help me. I am so on my own here. All i do is pray for help from the only one who can come save me right now...GOD. Im still waiting for his reply.....
deleted_user
deleted_user
Jen....sometimes God does reply, we just don't always listen The decision to be happy and breath is up to you. Perhaps God made you aware of that, and you haven't reacted to it yet. Good luck my dear. Hugs...Diane
deleted_user
deleted_user
jen, try to use us to lean on, vent to, cry with. i think ms just sucks the life out of relationships. i honestly can cry with you, my husband of 35 yrs has basically given up on us, me, whatever. we can't give up on ourselves (or god i think).
many hugs, connie
djbritt
djbritt
I'm sorry you are dealing with this. Stand your ground. It will get better for you. It will take time.
deleted_user
deleted_user
That is absolutely horrible to hear that he treats you like that, sometimes you just have to be selfish and focus on yourself I do believe god works in mysterious ways and that in some way shape or form things will work themselves out, I've spent the last 3 years od my marriage beleiving that. I'm more than willing to listen to ya if you need to vent anytime juat as long as everyone will do the same
deleted_user
deleted_user
Jen, you believe in God so I am going to attempt this passage out of myJesus Is Calling Devotional book from Walmart-todays read grow strong in your weakness.Some of My children I've gifted with abundant strength and stamina.others, like you, have reeived the humble gift of frailty.Your fragility is not a punishment,nor does it indicate lack of faith.on the contrary,wekones like you must live by faith, depending on mMe to get you through the day.I am developing your ability to trustMe,to lean on Me,rather than on your understanding.Your natural preference is to plan out your day, knowing what will happen when.My preference is for you to depend on Me continually.,trusting me to guide you and strengthen you as needed.This is how you grow strong in your weakness. Please do not anybody think I am trying to turn this into the religious MSroup, I am not.I know all peple hve their own beliefs or don't believe I just red this tody and felt great comfort from it.Ellen and sorry for any bad typos.