Multiple Sclerosis (MS) Support Group
This community is a place where members can discuss current events and weigh in on what's going on in the world.
It says we only get what we can bear??? Hah! What kind of BS is that? My local daughter stopped bothering with me since my dx. She said it scared her to see me like this. Now she spends all of the holidays with her inlaws. Like I am no one now. she was always selfish and into herself. I hate holidays because I am always alone. My youngest daughter is not like the oldest at all. She lives in another state, works retail and cannot take any time off during the holiday months. she calls me when she can. not the other one. If I call her she ignores her phone and does not call me back. I gave up a few months ago on that. I hope to go to visit the youngest January. depends on the weather. I am still mobile and can do most stuff by myself yet. i have modified what I need to do so I still can. My ssd only goes so far so I can't buy the oldest one anymore, but since her mother inlaw can and does, I don't exxist to her anymore. I not only found out who my friends were but also who my true family is. I friggin hate that kid today. I am being honest today. I hate ms and I hate that kid.
Im so glad for you that you have at least one understanding daughter. I hope things work out for you so you can see her more.
I don't hate that kid, but I sure am disgusted with her. I would never have dreamt of treating my parents like that. Now they are both gone and I would do any thing for them to have them back.
Many of you are right though in that I havbe not accepted the MS yet. I still get so mad at my limitations now. I try to stay focused on how fortunate I am that I am not worse off. Just some days are harder than others.
Thanks to everyone, you really made my night here. :)
After the 1st doc said that I had MS, in his opinion, & that my life was going to be shit from there on out & that I just needed to go home & deal with it, my son went home & dewlt with it by using me for all that he could use me for & then when I protested to that for a long while he started beating the hell out of me & putting me in the ER! The 3rd time he did that he left me!
And, every since then he acts like HE WAS THE ONE WHO WAS DONE WRONG!? LIKE HE WAS THE ONE WHO WAS DONE DIRTY!!! REALLY!? Poor baby!!!! I feel sooo damned sorry for him, using me like that & then beating me up while he got all his needs met & did whatever the hell he wanted, & then has gone right on with his life, while I can't even make it from one freaking check to another!!! Well! Poor baby!!!
I'm sick to death of his attitude towards me & of being treated like I don't freaking exist, by my own damned son!!! He's a little snot nosed prick!!!! And, that's putting it nicely!!! But STILL!? I love him! And, it does really hurt!!!! It's like he died or something, only worse because he chose this!!
And, I'm sick to death of spending every GD holiday alone!!! Though, I must admit that I did really really well for TG this year! I decided that I was sick to death of letting other people shit all over me & hurt me & make me miserable, so I planned on what I could do alone to make it through & to somehow create my own holiday time & spirit, & then I followed through on it! And, it really really made a difference!!!!
We cant control others actions or bad or selfish behavior! We can only control what we do, or how we handle it!? And, up until now I have NOT handled any of it well at all!
When my son left I just totally fell apart!!! And, I went to hell in a hand basket from there! I have become sooo bitter, & sooo hurt, & soooo angry, that I just spiraled down to hell from there... Because LIFE HAS BEEN SOOO GD ROUGH!!! AND, IT'S JUST BEEN SOOO DAMNED HARD TO DEAL WITH ALL THE CRAP BY MYSELF!
I woke up Sunday before last & decided that I HAD HAD ENOUGH! OF ALL OF IT! OF BEING ALONE ESP... SO I GOT UP & I WENT TO THIS UU CHURCH--I've been there years ago & had wanted to start back but never had...
And, low & behold if I didn't wind up setting right in front of a lady that was going through similar shit & she & I instantly connected after the service... & she connected me with the lady pastor there... etc.... & I may either get rides or gas cards to go back for future services... & also the pastor is looking at helping me out in many other ways...
And, since I made that choice, I have had 3 great things to happen to me...
The best one was: UT Vet clinic, who I owed about 400 to for an EM on one of my dogs, called me up the day before TG & totally forgave my bill! Totally zeroed it out! Because I had written them a letter briefly going over some of the major EM's that I had had & telling them that I was trying so hard, but life was just staying far ahead of me & beating me up pretty good... Anyway, she got my letter & was soooo touched by it, that she took it to the head vet & they decided to zero out my bill & to forgive my debt!
Made me cry like a freaking baby!!!! But it made me happy & relieved & really helped me to have a good TG!
And, my PT gave me a really nice, MUCH NEEDED pair of shoes! NB too! White with blue trim--also the day before TG! And, there was something else great too but I can't remember it right now!?
Anyway!? Just saying here that I have a son that treats me like crap to! And, that it really hurts!!! And, that it eats us up & totally destroys our lives when we let it get to us......
But at some point, when we get sick & tired of feeling that way, things can maybe change!? Still working on that myself!!! :) But I just woke up sick & damned tired & decided to at least make one last stab in the dark at trying to change it & make it better for me! And, also trying to reestablish myself in a NEW COMMUNITY!!!!! NEW PEOPLE! NEW CONNECTIONS! ONES THAT MAY OR MAY NOT UNDERSTAND OR HELP!?
I am at least going to find out!? Will let you all know how that goes!? Hope this somehow helps!?
I'm also a UU, and for personal reasons haven't been attending since June. Went back last week since I knew it would be low attendance, only a select few know that I have MS (I worked there for 21 years).
Now it's becoming more obvious because I walk with a walking stick, so far I've said that I've fallen several times and it helps me keep my balance, which is true, just not complete.
I was welcomed back with open arms.
As for your children, I am also estranged from my oldest son (his choice); my second son is 32 and if I want to talk to him, I usually have to call. He has his own life and I respect that, he's just a very private person. My daughter is 27 and fabulous, supportive, and attentive.
i have yet to post on here except to look for someone who was dealing with tumefactive lesions, chance of Marburg, etc, but go no response. The statement from mixedupmelly regarding only being able to handle what we can bear is beyond true. It refers to temptation, not to life situations. However, I do know this, Jesus died on the cross not just for our salvation but took beatings for our healing. His will is for us to be healed, not for us to suffer MS, not for phone calls saying "you will die."
I won't go into a long preaching here but if you ever wanted more, I am available. He loves you so so much.
I have really struggled with family, friends, and particularly my husband. Nightmare! The constant uncertainty of having the rarest of MS'es is hard! Each night I never know if the next day will be. But I know that Jesus is the Great Physician and that He wants me healed. I know that hate and anger are not emotions that we cannot have, but do they really help us?
Have you tried telling your daughter how you are feeling? I do not know if it will help, it has only been hit and miss with me, but telling her in a loving way might be worth a try. Email if that is the best way to deal with it.
I have been in real shock on who has and has not been there for me, but Jesus is!
Hang in there.