I take it that, that was said to you be someone who has a faith, my answear to that is well that diety has too much time on their hands!! And shouldn't they be sorting out the more improtant troubles of the world!! I don't believe in any kind of diety, so I agree that it's b/s and only said when there is nothing people can say.
As for your local daughter, my one went round for 2 weeks thinking I was gonna drop dead at any time. I had to sit down and ezplain it to her, since then she has accepted it, but still gets upset when I have a crisis or really bad day. It shouldn't matter what her mil can or can't buy her, you're still her Mum, if nothing else she should phone you regularly. At the moment you hate her for now caring about you when you could really do with some care, she's playing ostrich hoping that MS will go away and you will be healthy again. You could try writing to her and telling her how she is making you feel. I do hope you can work things out with her.
Hugs, Owlxx

I can totally understand you hating ms & your shallow kid. She is missing out on such a learning curve but unfortunately it happens a lot. There are a lot who would agree to that. You sure find out who your true family & friends are when hard time hit. I could write a book on that for sure. LOL

I have been through a lot with foot surgery & 9 weeks in hospital & rehabilitation, sure found who my friends were in that time with lack of phone calls & visits. I was so peeved off to put it mild that some I had thought were good friends & didnt contact for weeks on end & had total of 2 visits & that was all about them too.

So tired of it all & stuck at home mostly at momement which makes ir worse.

Understand you totally!

Hugs

I am so sorry you are having difficulties and feel like this. I am thinking and praying for you tonight. To Zzzowl if some one told you "God only gives you what you can bear" they really don't understand God at all. A

I am so sorry about your family. I have lost a lot too. I uderstand. I hope it gets better. My best to you.

I kind of understand,your feelings.
I only have 1 son, he understands my conditions,they scare him,of course he wants his old mom back,and I try so hard to be the old mom once in a while for his sake.
My husband Is very understanding.My parent 79 and 74. They are total gems about everything they take me to the Dr.s
I'm so Thankful for what I have.The thought is very scary to lose all that,support.
I also believe the people that use that saying God won't give you more than you can handle???? Have never had a bad day in there lives.LOL. There bad day is breaking a nail,or having a hair out of place.
Gentle healing hugs. and Vent a way friend. :).

To Baywatch, yeah, it was someone with a faith that said that to me and I told them exactly what I said earlier. As far as faith is concerned, whatever floats your boat and gets you thru your day, the point I was making was that people with faith often say things like that coz they don't know what else to say, so fall back on their faith in order to say something that they hope will help. Other people may say something like *there's always someone else worse off than yourself* and while that seems to be true, it doesn't help the person they're saying it to. mel is going thru a really rough time that seems to have no end, so it's no surprise that someone saying that to her is not gonna help and has actually made her feel worse. I agree with mel when she asks what kinda b/s is that, it is b/s although probably said with good intentions.
Mel, I really hope that things do improve for you asap.
Hugs, Owlxx

My son didn't speak to me for ages. Turned out he thought I was going to die and he was scared and didn't know how to talk about it. Thank goodness he blurted it out one day, and we have been fine ever since.

So there is a possibility that your family members are just scared.

I have always liked this saying

'Be kind to those who hurt you, they will really hate you for it'

Hi
So sorry she is dealing with your dx like that. My daughters and I go to a psychologist and it has helped a lot, but all of us wanted to go. I would write her a good bye letter, set her guilt free, a beautiful mommy good bye letter, end it in your terms so she can move on happy and guilt free.

Alma

i can only understand the ms part of what you are dealing with right now. we can't have children, so i haven't thankfully had to deal with that part. in addition to everything else i have going on though, i'm also a survivor of rape. i do know what it's like to hate everyone including yourself, and to hate someone else to the point you are ready to kill yourself to end the pain.
here's the thing though. if you didn't love her, there would be no anger or hate, you'd only feel apathy.
i can also tell you that it's not that we are not given more than we can bear, it's that He will not let us be tempted more than we can handle without providing us a way out, and that way is Jesus. that's the only way i was able to get past the anger and forgive him and myself and my parents and his parents. it's also the only way i've been able to even begin to deal with this roller coaster ride called ms (by the way, i want off... this ride sure isn't fun!) you may believe in God and you may not. that is totally up to you, but you can choose to either let ms define you or you can define ms in your life. unfortunatly you can't define how your daughter reacts to you. you can only continue to love her and hate her actions.
i've just spent my first thanksgiving and saw my family for the first time since i've been diagnosed. my brother acts like it doens't exist and my mother is convinced i've got it because dad was exposed to agent oragne in vietnam. i had a round of shaking in my right hand i couldn't control. she saw dad with the same thing, and then trys to tell me she understands. she does, but only from the outside. she doens't understand from the inside, and i'm grateful for that. i love her as much as a daughter can love a mother, but i hate when she looks at me and sees dad. when she sees someone that is broken that she can't fix and she thinks it's her fault.
it was hard when dad was sick, to be around him and to see him suffer, but i'm learning that it's actually harder to be the one suffering and having those who love you looking at you like you're someting that is broken. that when you hurt, they hurt and they are reminded of their own mortality. there but for the grace of God go i is what i would say when dad would get sick. now i'm saying it's by the grace of God that i'm even going.
in the end, we make our own choices and we have to live with the decisions of those choices, but the choices can and does impact others. you can choose to let bitterness and anger rule you or you can choose to rule it by giving it to God.
you are in my prayers...

Mixedupmelly, beautifully said. I can't imagine being able to get through this without Jesus in my life. I'm not not happy I have this disease, it sucks but at least I'm not full of hate & anger.
Hugs
Tammy

I want to say Thank You for all the wonderful people in this group. I haven't been here long.
The advice and the questions have really helped me.
Gentle comforting hugs.Jan.

I really don't understand the disregard young people have for their parents these days. I'm very sorry your daughter is acting the way she is. Almost like you would like to haul off and slap them silly huh? Also, I'm sure you don't hate your local daughter today, you are just really pissed off. You wouldn't have bothered writing aout her if you were not hurt by her actions (or lack thereof) and didn't care.

I don't know about the saying that God only gives us what we can bear. I believe God sometimes challenges us, and sometimes we lose that battle.

Have you accepted your MS yet? It doesn't feel like it in your post. Try going to the sub-group on accpting your MS:

http://www.dailystrength.org/groups/accepting-your-multiple-sclerosis

I hope you find some peace soon. Gentle Hugs.

MS can bring out a lot of hatred and anger...... jealousy too because we may not have the opportunities to do what everyone else can. I completely understand your feelings but, they are what is causing you more stress. I have learned from my own personal experiences that if you don't let that stuff go, it can and WILL eventually affect you more and more, and then THEY win in the end. You can only control your actions and reactions, and nobody else's. Am praying for a little peace to come your way.

I agree, what a pile of you know what! Shame on her for being so disgusting and horrible to you, HER OWN MOTHER!

I feel sad for you and I'm glad that Thanksgiving is done and gone.

She is one rude, spoiled kid IMO and to advertise that she's going to her in-laws rather than see you is awful and I don't know what I'd say to her.

I know I'd be sad as can be and I'm sure sorry you had to go through this for no reason at all!

(((hugs))) to you!!!

Lots of hugs for you. How fortunate for you to have 1 daughter who is a fine person. I am really fortunate to have a wonderful niece, who is sort of local. I know a few mothers and daughters who are completely estranged from one another; 2 of these daughters are in their 30's and without hesitation, would go on & on telling you how much they detest their selfish mothers. IMO it's the daughters who are so cold!! So sad. My point: none of these mothers have MS. Your local daughter is just a cold selfish person. Leave the MS out of your analysis. If you had secondary progressive MS and won the Lotto, you would certainly get return phone calls. I don't believe she would be a giving person even if you didn't have MS -- it's not her nature. January is almost here--enjoy the good daughter.