I feel you on this one, but like I've said before...Being ill IS going to make you feel something & THAT'S OK. What's not OK is holding it all in & exploding like mount vasuvious. Hehe! Seriously...I let myself feel, that way, I can become more use to the idea that this is just the way it is & what I feel loads more of now a days is positivity...the pride, that through all this I haven't given up & I can feel, get it out of my system, talk to those who understand (Like my mom & my fiance, even my dad at times & that's a big one when my dad has days he tries & understands, that's cool) & then ask God what the meaning of it all is.

I know there will be another day & I know that I can be strong...I have for SOOOOO long (I just had no other choice, you know?) & if there are moments I get frustrated & over being sick day in day out, that's natural & I lean on those who care & I try my best to feel good that maybe I can even impart some wisdom of what I learned through all this & be a shoulder for my friends as well.

The biggest thing that helps me is just trying my best to laugh...weather it be about how now the only board games I'm good enough to play with my friends are "Shakes & Ladders" or I try & just be silly about something else entirely & get my mind off of being ill for even a moment...Like when I go to the store & load my shopcart up with Beanie Babies so I can take them for a ride & I will have some friends to ride around with, whatever helps, just laugh.

Realize you are still you & life still goes on. Maybe you have to hobble or walk at a snails pace or take some Beanie Babies on a shopcart ride at the store cause your legs are crap, but eventually you get to where you are going. It's harder, but we adapt. We make it!

Those who love us & care & if it's only on this site, so be it, we understand each other. BUT, those who care, like my mom the other day...I told her that she could walk ahead of me cause she was faster & she said, "It's ok, I'll walk with you!" & my fiance has said the same...well, those who see that we are trying our best & love us no matter what WILL understand & see the true us no matter what.

Take care,
Stay sane!

You are not alone on this @ all. I think we all have those same feelings. I was doing great and BAM it hit me out of no where and it was like I was being dx'd all over again. I don't know what got me back into the funk, may be it was b/c of the cold or I'm symptomatic @ this moment. Yes, it really sucks but we have to find our inner strength...that's what I'm trying to do is find my inner strength again b/c I had found and now its gone but I WILL get it back....i'm not going to let this MonSter win this game....I'm going to win this. I do hope that you feel better bc as i type this to you, my hands are way tingling, so are the legs, muscles aren't good and pain is driving me up the wall...so again, you are not alone...we are all together in this but just @ different stages. Hang in there.....Hugs!!!

It does hit hard sometimes. The past couple of months have been really bad for me. I haven't been able to work, to see, to walk. Right now I'm still not sure whether or not I can stay on Tysabri until we get the results of my spinal tap. I've had Solu-Medrol twice in 3 weeks time and my body is really feeling it. I'm hoping it works this time. The next step is plasma exchange. Usually I can handle it all pretty well, but lately it's been a bit much. My doctor is looking for the JC virus in my spinal fluid to make sure I'm not developing PML. So far the only new lesions are in my cervical spine, my brain looks stable. So if I recover from this relapse and the test results are good we may continue on Tysabri for another year under close supervision. I've been on it for 1 year so far.

Anyway, yes I totally understand. There are times that I can manage my symptoms and get through the days without too much thought about MS. But then there are times when it feels like a full on battle that takes almost all of me to fight.

When I lie down I can forget that I have MS and then I look around and see all the work that I need to do and I remember right fast that I have it. Oh well.

Neener, I thought that Tsabri puts MS to a grinding halt. I guess not. I am sorry that it is not working as it should.

Hi there, I've had MS for almost 11 years. I was 19 at the time. After I was DX I had those moments every day, all... the.... time then I saw someone who couldn't walk period or talk and thought, "I still can". and in some way that made me think positive after that you know.

Hope you have a good nights rest!
Hugs, Evelyn

Of course it sucks!

I finished a four hour exam yesterday and I just cried... most law students want to cry after an exam but I become like a lump and my body tingles from the overall exhaustion.

Then I spent the day tripping but once i laid down for a bit read some funny jokes it got a lot better.

Despite the barrages of people telling me how I should be as a mother as if I don't stress about it already since I am due in a month...

It sucks!

oh yes- i still -without thinking- i will wonder what in the worlds wrong with me- duh!! i still do that not as often but yes i get so tired of this crap! but i do have some great times- minuets! ha it doesnt last long- hugs-tickey