How wonderful that you are there for you mum, and I bet your best is always all that is needed to help her. Since you said her balance was off, make sure that she is seeing a neurologist specializing in MS. A lot of time there is nothing that can be done for balance, but you mum may be able to go to some physical therapy that can work on her balance, and fitted for a cane or walker. Both of these therapies should help her a lot with any balance problems she has.

Regarding her pain, a pain management specialist should be sought for her. This is the best thing I ever did in managing my MS symptoms. A pain management specialist can help her find a medication to reduce the pain. A neurologist may try to do this, but they are not really trained in managing MS pain and it is best to leave it to the experts. This will help her quality of life also. Pain comes to all of us, suffering is optional. Dont let her suffer.

You dont mention your own age, or if there is a dad in the picture. Being a caregiver requires a lot of time and dedication. I cant imagine that your mom expects you to give up your childhood to be her care giver. She needs to step up to the plate, learn all she can about her disease, and seek the help of qualified physicians. For you, the National MS Society has some brochures to help, like Someone you Know Has MS: A booklet for Families (for kids 5-12 years old) or When a Parent Has MS: A teenagers Guide. Grandparents, uncles, aunts, neighbors and friends can be wonderful sources of support. Your mum should not expect you to give up your activities so care for her 100% alone. Kids need to be kids, not miniature adults.

Contact the National MS Society (800 FIGHT MS). They should provide you resources in your community to help with your mums care.

There is a sub-group here, called Loved Ones Who Support Someone With MS which has a lot of resource information that would be helpful to you. Dont forget to view all (because there are pages and pages of support information). See:
http://www.dailystrength.org/groups/loved-ones-who-support-someone-with-ms

Hopefully you will get lots of advice to your post. Good Luck.

Good Morning,

It's great that you are trying to help your mother. My thoughts is that the best thing that you can do to help her would be to seek out qualified resources to entrust her well being to - don't take too much on yourself. As a mother with MS I can tell you that seeing my son negatively impacted by my condition hurts more then the MS does, by far. There is a lot of help out there, much of it free, but you have to do some research and find it. It doesn't look like you're from the US, so I can't give you any pointers, but I'd start by asking her doctor. Make sure she has qualified health care professionals, try to get her in for PT or OT, and if she could join a support group that would probably help.

Don't be afraid to enlist your sisters help. Your health as a caregiver and a patient of your right is important too, and you shouldn't let those needs be neglected in favor of the requirements of "Being the eldest".

Best of luck to you.

Thank you both for your advice. I'll definitely get onto that, I suppose it's a bit bizarre thinking I can do everything - especially when I have a sister, aunts and uncles - and also to think that there are trained specialists who are trained and experienced in this, they'll know better and therefore it's those I should try to contact.

thanks again.

So glad some good thoughts came into your mind. You are not alone, and there are others that can handle this. Yes, you are the oldest, and probably feeling like you need to be the "matriarch" of the family. With this, you feel the need to manage everything maybe? (I know I would if roles were reversed.) But, with the support around you, you needn't feel to carry the entire burden alone. I'm just glad you realized that. Good luck with your mum, and please feel like you can come back here for all your questions, concerns, rants, etc.

Here are some other resources for you too.

Caregiver support

Caregiver.com www.caregiver.com
*Maintains one of the most visited caregiver sites on the Internet.
*Publishes Todays Caregiver Magazine.
*Provides links to many resources such as government and nonprofit agencies.
* Todays Caregiver Magazine www.caregiver.com/magazine
3005 Greene Street, Hollywood, FL 33020 Tel: 800-829-2734
*A bi-monthly caregiver magazine. Tel: 800-896-3650

National Family Caregivers Association
10400 Connecticut Ave., Suite 500, Kensington, MD 20895
www.thefamilycaregiver.org
email: info@thefamilycaregiver.org
Free member benefi ts include the following:
* Take Care!, a quarterly newsletter.
* The Resourceful Caregiver, a useful guide to resources.
* A support hotline.

The Well Spouse Association www.wellspouse.org email: info@wellspouse.org
63 West Main Street, Suite H,Freehold, NJ 07728, Tel: 800-838-0879
* Publishes Mainstay, a quarterly newsletter.
*Provides networking/local support groups.

Adaptations, equipment and accessibility ABLEDATA Tel: 800-227-0216; TTY: 301-608-8912
8630 Fenton St., Suite 930, Silver Spring, MD 20910
www.abledata.com email: abledata@macrointernational.com
*A database of over 29,000 products that can be searched by type or topic.

American Academy of Orthopedic Surgeons Tel: 800-346-AAOS (800-346-2267) www.aaos.org
6300 N. River Road, Rosemont, IL 60018
*Offers a free booklet on lifting procedures for
home-based carers called Lift It Safe.

http://www.dailystrength.org/groups/loved-ones-who-support-someone-with-ms/discussions/messages/12906117

Best wishes to you,
EP