You do the work, stay on top! Also buy some nice toys you would like and let him pleasure you with them. Unfortunately, ones sex life is often affected by MS...and remember, the medications he may be taken might also affect his drive for intimacy. Good luck, and have fun!

WalkingThroughLife.....Please accept this phase of the MS, and totally let him know how much you love him, that he means everything to you. Otherwise I think his manhood will be a total issue to him, because of this.

For the past year I have had NO sexual desire whatsoever. I feel so bad for my husband. I also take a few different drugs that says it can lower my libido. Welll.........I've hit rock bottom with that one!!! I try to take care of my husband, but myself.....no desire at ALL.

Good luck!!!!! Please just loet him know how much you love him!!

Thanks for your responses! I am very satisfied, but I'd like to find ways that he can more easily reach orgasm before his legs give out. What you've said is good advice.... sounds like it's time for me to go to the gym more often and strengthen my own legs!

He was taking an anti-depressant that killed his ability to reach climax, but once his doctor took him off that, we were good to go. It works probably 75% of the time for him, but it hurts his legs, and they are becoming a bigger distraction. He knows that I adore him, and he gives me so much pleasure, so we are great in that department. He says that it gives him enormous pleasure that I am so satisfied, so thanks. We're good there! I'll try some of your suggestions.

I was wondering about seated positions on chairs or ways to stand and support his legs- something like that. One woman private messaged me and suggested icing down his legs beforehand. We'll try that too.

I reeeeeeally appreciate this! DS has some pretty wonderful, supportive people. Thanks so much!!!

I too feel strange in this discussion, but...spooning position with him from behind, both lying down? I couldn't tell if you both had an issue with leg strength or not, but men generally are much stronger there, which is why all the "heavy lifting" in this area. Are there any leg positions in which his cramping isn't as bad or a temperature that makes them better? Also, meds like Baclofen can help with the muscle spasm/cramp that causes so much pain.

I also wonder how GladImSaved handles her issues, as those are mine - NO desire. I feel like my body is flabbing out 'cause I can't work out and the thought of doing "that" just gets me like I'm back in the place where boys are yucky. Does that make sense?

We used to be so creative which is why I could come up with one answer and maybe more depending on what you say about leg positions and temperature. But now, I just don't care, and I want to for my husband.

My legs bother me a lot, but my neurologist has worked with my baclofen dose and it has helped a lot. I'm currently taking 20 mg 3 times a day. I know that you can take higher doses if necessary or a baclofen pump can be implanted if very high doses are needed. I still have severe spasms at times, but it's much better.

lovemaking? I don't remember. lol

Thanks, Mary and Neener (and a big ha!! to mom!!)!

I'm not as up as I should be on the meds he's taking. I don't know whether he's taken Baclofen before, but he's not now anyway. He's taking Rebif, and the neurologist said that Tysabri will be next. I'll ask him about it. He has infrequent - and pretty mild - leg spasms; the issue is more about his squatting during lovemaking and his legs cramping up. But if Baclofen helps, I'll ask. The spooning idea is a good one too. We'll see how that goes. : )

I'm passing all of this information on to him, and he is amazed at all of the caring feedback. He asked me to thank all of you- so, thanks from Ted!
ia
xox Cecilia

I, too have weak and painful legs. my wife is usually on top and I do what I can to contribute, but too much and my legs cramp and i lose my erection almost immediately. so, even with my sweet wife on top, i must gauge my strength and stamina and try to maintain my erection.
when i lose the erection this really hurts my confidence. i know my wife would never cheat on me, but there's times i think her desires are deep and need more than i can give. one day, i am afraid i may give her permission to "cheat".
she says it will never be an issue for her. but, all humans need the to feel the sensations of a sexual relationship.
TheBaneyHome

Hi Baney,

Thanks for being so frank. A couple of things help us that way. First, he was taking an anti-depressant that made for weak erections that fizzled. The doctor took him off that, and it helped a lot. At one point we also tried Cymbalta (?) - a Viagra-type med. It was perfect, but after getting off the anti-depressants he didn't need it anymore. But I am an amazingly satisfied woman with thumbs and fingers. If you want the gory details, message me and I'll be more specific!!

Know too that most women are different than men: intercourse is incredibly important to men, and they can't imagine a love life without it. For women, it's nice and wonderful and all, but a close connection and intimacy - emotional closeness, little love presents, thoughtfulness, feeling adored, snuggling - is way more important. I am sure that it's hard to believe, but it's true. : )

I have to agree with you on that! My hubby struggles lately to maintain an erection (I can't get him to talk to the doc...) and I have like... no sex drive. He is always afraid that I will want to see someone else (although he knows I would never cheat)... I try to explain that our issues are on BOTH our parts... I am more concerned with the intimacy. I am REALLY just as happy after cuddling and laughing and joking as I am after sex. I also NEVER experienced an orgasm during intercourse (and since my hysterectomy it is different anyway) so that is not the way to please me anyway!
A loving relationship is what matters.

I'm also taking some pre-menopausal all-natural support stuff that I get at the grocery store or drug store.... and ladies, I can't tell you what it's done to my libido. : )

What is it? Where do we get it?

Ha! Ask someone you love to share with you. : )

Yeah, you must share the name of this pre-menopausal all-natural support stuff!!!

When I was on Rebif, my desire wasn't as strong, and I had a very hard time achieving the big o. I switched to copaxone and my drive is back.. and my ability is back.

It sounds like you two have a great relationship, the only thing I can think of is maybe more foreplay so you enjoy each other quicker before his legs hurt.

Ha haaaa! : ) I'll fill you in...

I've tried a few of them, and they all seem to work!! I get them in the vitamin section of the grocery store or pharmacies. There are lots of different kinds, but they are all for menopausal or pre-menopausal (also called peri-menopausal) support. I think that the menopausal ones are stronger. They are meant to help with the loss of estrogen at menopause. Estrogen replacement therapy after menopause would work too, but I don't like the potential side effects of those. And I'm not there yet.

I've used Re-fem (remi-femin? something like that), one that is just the herb black cohosh (this one gets me revving within 15 minutes of taking it!)... try them all and see which one you like. They are all plant based, and my doctor said that they are really low dose and fine to take if you're not in menopause yet. Another nice thing with them is that I no longer get weepy or overly sensitive before I get my period. I just feel more playful!

My friends tell me that I'm in the 'frisky forties' (which I hope turn into frisky fifties!), but I DEFINITELY notice a change with these supplements!!

Most of them take a couple of weeks of regular use before you notice the effects, so keep going even if you don't notice a difference right away!

Go for it! Let me know if they work for you!

And Kaz, I'm glad that you are back in a good place with the copaxone!! And you're right- we have a great relationship. I'm so lucky!

Ok! Off to the grocery store, ladies! : )