Sorry to hear about this, Jim. It sounds like your MS is creating a divide between you and your girlfriend. It's a bad spot to have to choose between friends and a girlfriend.

I'm not sure exactly what you're looking for from this post, but I'll share my thoughts with you. Since this is going to (or already has) become a major issue in your relationship, you may have to have a serious talk with her about what you're needing from her and what her barrier is to discussing the MS issue. Let us know how it goes!

HI Jim,
I think it is hard for our loved ones sometimes, to understand what we are going through with MS. Especially in the beginning. When I was first dx in 2006, I was also a newlywed. I was devastated and it strained our marriage. I felt all alone. Fell into a depression. Since that time, with counseling, getting meds straightened out, etc. things have improved greatly.
You see when I was first dx with MS, I knew nothing about it. I made the mistake of going into MS chatrooms, looking for answers, and then........began living my life online 24/7. I don't recommend that for anyone. I forgot to live my life here and include my husband in things. Once I distanced myself from the computer and stopped visiting the MS chatrooms, things improved on the home front.
My husband and I learned to communicate.....we shared our fears, frustrations, etc.
I still enjoy corresponding with others with MS, but I don't dwell on it. If I did, i'd slip back into that deep depression.
Maybe your girlfriend is feeling left out? That is how my husband felt when I stopped communicating with him. We had to sit down and share our deep thoughts and feelings. It's the only way it would work.
I'm sorry you're having this problem. While I no longer visit chatrooms, I do come here. I like it much better. Another thing is......I promised not to go into any MS chatrooms and I also do not go online when my husband is home. When he is home, that is our time together. The computer is shut off.
I do hope things improve for you.

Whoa--you've been with this insensitive woman for 16 years?!?

You have ms and she makes jokes about it?! You have good friends who will listen to you and support you and she makes you cut them out?! Time to cut her out!!! She is controlling and not concerned about your happiness at all!

I am still undiagnosed but just thinking about the possibility of being disabled and in pain later in life makes me realize how important my time really is, and that I have no time to waste on people that don't give me love and support.

You need to take control of this situation and figure out who is really important to you. If your girlfriend is causing you more pain than happiness, it's time to get a new one. Or just lean on your friends who can support you in your ms. Because that's what you really need right now.

I hope I don't sound too harsh, but sometimes a little tough love is in order. Good luck!

Thanks to all of you, please understand that she is a careing woman, just likes me to herself I guess, and can't take it when i involve others because its something I can't chat with her about, I'm not sure that she wants to hear it because if it ain't there it ain't happening. I just need a good friend and I thought I found one.

Hi Jim,
I'm sorry....me & this lovely MS brain of mine missread part of your post. I did not realize that "she" (the girlfriend) was making jokes out of your issues.
I miss read it because one of the ways I deal with my own issues, is that I sometimes joke about my "own" issues.
However.............if you've expressed to your girlfriend that you don't like what she's doing, and she does it anyway..........that is very insensitive and if she's not willing to respect you, or your feelings, then perhaps she's not really worth keeping. I'm sorry to say that, but it's true and if that's the case. You deserve better.
I'm sorry I miss understood your post.
Hugs

She's just jealous. I'm a very jealous person myself so i know where she's coming from and i've dealt with it from the other end with my boyfriend who also happens to be the jealous type.

When i first started coming on here he'd always joke around how i was gonna meet some hot guy with MS and leave him. I know he really feared that though. I always told him why would i leave him for someone with MS. I need his healthy ass to take care of me.

It's strange to know that your significant other is bonding so much with someone besides yourself. She probably wants to be the person you confide in but if you're finding it difficult then tell her.

Support group or not, it's not a very good feeling to find something like that out.

Jim, I am a total stranger to you, but when you find comfort from the symptoms of MS, do not let anyone talk you out of seeking that comfort. I can understand the jealousy of your girlfriend... she cannot really relate to the disease. The best I can recommend is to attend one of those seminars for MS patients focused on relationships with family and friends. Your girlfriend may be able to understand where her frustration comes from. Hey, I have had the disease for 23 years, and my family continues to remain in denial. That is why they live in Indiana, and I live on the East Coast.... well at least one reason.

We all develop MS Friends. Yes, it is so much easier to talk with someone who understands. Your girlfriend should understand that if she loves you. It; sactually very important to chat with fellow MS survivors. We sgare amazing ideas and provide REAL support. When I say to you that I am so sorry for what you are going through, I mean it in a very deep way. I get it. Just keep going on.......

no one gets ms unless they get ms

dont expect her to understand--she cant

try not to dwell on the bad--i try to handle a lot of the goofy stuff with humor--i laugh at myself and let others know its ok to laugh too--its fine--i do silly stuff and know it--just never ever let them do it with cruelty--(and really cant say anyone has did it) laff with me not at me--it puts everyone more at ease--and it helps a lot

I am sorry that you are in this position with your girl friend. You have a long relationship there & I would think it is worth hanging on to .
Obviously you need to be able to talk to others that understand me. It can be a hard juggle. Maybe try to talk to your partner about how you are feeling & going to a ms seminar with her would be a good way to open the communications. I would explain to her that you get confused & need to be able to talk to others that have the disease. It is not that she is missing out on anything but it gives you an outlet to vent your frustrations etc.
You might have to agree on a time or amount of time that you can spend online or chatting with ms people & sticking to it.
Take a deep breath & dont make rash decisions too quickly.
Hugs,