Multiple Sclerosis (MS) Support Group
This community is a place where members can discuss current events and weigh in on what's going on in the world.
I've had MS for 6yrs. During that time I have lost my job, friends and family relationships due to depression. I stay secluded to myself because I can't walk that well and long distances are a killer. I can't do the things like I use to do like dancing,bowling,playing at amusement parks. I am basically just existing from day to day going to sleep waking up in the morning maybe going over to my mother's house to talk to who is 79yrs of age. Friends don't invite me to go places anymore or call. Family members don't call they think that I am lazy and don't exercise like other people they have heard of with MS. I have a lot of other problems that they can't relate to health wise and they don't understand.
I too feel like my life is ended as I once knew it. For one, I'm still only Dx with Fibro. and they can't figure out why all these other MS-type symptoms as of last year.
Two...I'm unable to work for reasons listed above which makes me totally dependent on my husband now, who makes me feel like I'm such a burden anymore. I've always worked and been totally independent. Now, I feel so helpless & hopeless.
For example, last month, I was on steroids (4 wks) and was beginning to actually feel "well" again and ran out and contracted myself out to a local school district...(BIG MISTAKE!!)...then everything came crashing down when I came off of them...both physically & emotionally. Now, I'm having problems getting up & getting to work, even if it's only 2 days a week. I had to switch days last week b/c I had a migraine & stomach virus (??). Good thing it's only until school is out...9 more weeks!
Three....I also don't feel like getting out & doing anything anymore b/c I'm constantly in some degree of PAIN!!
Last....I think I've been severely depressed for several years now that not even meds will touch!
Duke, like you I've always been a christian, but I still find myself unable to climb out of this pit that I'm in for the past several years. I've even quit going to church b/c I'm either sick, in pain, or arguing with my husband. :(
~Tonya
Since you're dependent upon him to a certain extent, I hope you can resolve your issues with him.
While I was raised a Christian, I'm basically Buddhist/New Age now (last 14 years). You don't need to attend church to stay spiritual. You can be a great Christian at home as well.
To continue, I'm praying that God will aid you in working out the marital problems, which everyone has. You're too educated, skilled and attractive to be feeling the way you do.
Tonya, you have a lot going for you, so cheer up and be grateful. You will survive all the obstacles that come your way. I know it. Peace
He tried counseling for a few weeks...but I personally think that he isn't convinced that he has a problem. Of course, all of our children, family members, his co-workers, etc...all agree to differ with him!! We've had these ongoing problems since we've been married, but since my condition is continuing to decline....so is our marriage! I wish I'd seen his angry side BEFORE I married him. We dated for 7 years. Then again, people can sure change when you're actually living together! Also, after we got married is when he decided that he "OWNED" me.
Unless something happens to him to humble his heart, he's going to continue to believe that he owns you.
You shouldn't have to take abuse. I would say do what you can to keep peace in her home, but don't constantly feed his ego so that he takes you for granted.
Sometimes when a man thinks you might get tired of his antics and leave him, he might just clean up his act.
Tonya tried to stay happy in your own mind and don't allow him to dominate you. If you have to split, you'll still be fine and make it. He'll just have to pay up.
There are ways you can let him know this without arguing. But you shouldn't be a doormat.
If he's treating bad because he wants out, then you're not going to keep him anyway. He's only going to make you miserable.
You do what's best for you, Tonya. Trust me, you can always find another man, even with your illness.