Multiple Sclerosis (MS) Support Group
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It started two nights ago.
I need to vent and need words of inspiration from my DS friends.
My 19 year old son, who is unemployed and doing nothing with his life except for gaming, became irrational. My husband and he went head to head, lots of cussing and tosterone floating around the house, and almost to a physical point. Then come yesterday, my daughter started aggrivating him by locking him out of the house. Then the problems started. My son, pissed off that his sister locked the door on him, kicked in our front door (a $2000 door!), and broke the frame. Now the door doesn't lock! I went off on him,. then his father came home and went off on him again. Things got out of control once again and the two of them got physical. My son, who was smoking a cigarette in my office, started putting his ashes on one of my printer stands, not in an ashtray. This again started the physical argument between my husband and him. Horrible, horrible words were said to each other. My son left the office and started cutting himself. I cut off his cell phone, then I took it away some time later, (IPhone - it has internet even while turned off from the phone company). He got so upset about me taking his phone, he chased me around the house trying to get his phone from me, also fighting me on the stairs, which I can hardly walk down anyway. Then, when I wouldn't give it back, he took a large kitchen knife to his wrist and told me if I didn't give it back he was going to slit his wrist. Well, I didn't give it back. One thing led to another, and he didn't actually slit his wrist, but he did cut himself again. This time I called the police. The whole time I was on the phone with the dispatcher, he tried to climb out his window and jump out of the house (2nd story). The police finally came, and I warned them that he had a knife, that is when the guns came out. It took several cars of cops to get him, but they managed to distract him in the window to pull him back in and cuff him. They took him to the nearst hospital. He has been transfered to a mental hospital this morning. To make my feelings worse, and I feel guilty about this, I'm totally embarassed as every neighbor came out to see what was going on at the Hoppel household. I shouldn't feel this way but I do. Like everybody knows my business now, and it's bad business.
My issue is since all of this has started, I began a flare quickly. I'm so miserable, in significant pain and I can hardly walk. My tremors are worse then normal, and I feel myself going down. I have anxieties that leave me shakey and nervous. I don't know what to do.
I hope that my DS friends can offer words of comfort in this hard time for me. I don't know where to turn.
I need to vent and need words of inspiration from my DS friends.
My 19 year old son, who is unemployed and doing nothing with his life except for gaming, became irrational. My husband and he went head to head, lots of cussing and tosterone floating around the house, and almost to a physical point. Then come yesterday, my daughter started aggrivating him by locking him out of the house. Then the problems started. My son, pissed off that his sister locked the door on him, kicked in our front door (a $2000 door!), and broke the frame. Now the door doesn't lock! I went off on him,. then his father came home and went off on him again. Things got out of control once again and the two of them got physical. My son, who was smoking a cigarette in my office, started putting his ashes on one of my printer stands, not in an ashtray. This again started the physical argument between my husband and him. Horrible, horrible words were said to each other. My son left the office and started cutting himself. I cut off his cell phone, then I took it away some time later, (IPhone - it has internet even while turned off from the phone company). He got so upset about me taking his phone, he chased me around the house trying to get his phone from me, also fighting me on the stairs, which I can hardly walk down anyway. Then, when I wouldn't give it back, he took a large kitchen knife to his wrist and told me if I didn't give it back he was going to slit his wrist. Well, I didn't give it back. One thing led to another, and he didn't actually slit his wrist, but he did cut himself again. This time I called the police. The whole time I was on the phone with the dispatcher, he tried to climb out his window and jump out of the house (2nd story). The police finally came, and I warned them that he had a knife, that is when the guns came out. It took several cars of cops to get him, but they managed to distract him in the window to pull him back in and cuff him. They took him to the nearst hospital. He has been transfered to a mental hospital this morning. To make my feelings worse, and I feel guilty about this, I'm totally embarassed as every neighbor came out to see what was going on at the Hoppel household. I shouldn't feel this way but I do. Like everybody knows my business now, and it's bad business.
My issue is since all of this has started, I began a flare quickly. I'm so miserable, in significant pain and I can hardly walk. My tremors are worse then normal, and I feel myself going down. I have anxieties that leave me shakey and nervous. I don't know what to do.
I hope that my DS friends can offer words of comfort in this hard time for me. I don't know where to turn.
mental health is so advanced today; they will dx him and try out meds and perhaps within a few months you will have your son truly back (not just in the physical sense of the word) and he will be able to make some decisions for his life.
regarding your flare, i know how stress affects me! my thoughts are with you. could you go to a doc and maybe get some roids? in the meantime, please try and relax. your neighbors can gossip all they want. you made a loving decision.
He has become a different person although a few years later.
It was an awful time. I did get through it.
Good luck, it is hard.
My son is still in a mental hospital. They are trying to stabilize him. I have seen many personalities in him since he got there to now. He seems to be coming back around to being the son I once knew through medications and therapy. He was dxed with Bi-Polar disorder and is currently on meds for that. They really seem to be working. At this point in time I don't know where he will go from there. I have told the facility that he is not welcome home anymore. They tell me that the shelters are all full and there will be no place for him but the streets. That is breaking my heart thinking of my son on the streets alone. he is only 19! But, as so many have advised, that is probably the best thing for him to help him grow up and take responsibility for his own life and destiny. We will see.
My MS symptoms are back in full force. I see my neuro Monday and it will be good to talk to him about how I'm feeling. I'm not looking to be put on steroids through. If I can avoid that I will. I'm just trying to manage the symptoms. I went and saw my physciatrist and he gave me a script for lorazepam to help me manage my anxieties. I only take them when I'm really having a hard time.
Again, please continue to keep the Hoppel household in your thoughts and prayers. I really do get support from your kinds words and advisements. I'm so confused and still hurting about my son. I just don't understand if and where we went wrong. Many hugs to all my DS friends. Lynne
I am so sorry u r going thru this, I have no children so I cant understand that but I do know that cutting is a sign of crying out for help. He is in the right place to get it. No matter how he got there he is there and he willget the help he needs. Someday he will thank u for helping him. As for the neighbors blow them off. True neighbors know when a family is hurting and u my freind were hurting and need police help. Those otherrs were just nosey observers that will gossip. Dont let that get to u. Rise abovr. As for the MS try to do ur best to relax .Ur doing all the right things in callling ur docs and taking ur meds. Just try to relax as much as possible. Listen to music.read. Just dont blame urself this was none of ur doing. U did the right thing. U were brave and showed much love for ur son and he will know that as he continues to grow in therapy in the hospital.Been therre done that, know the routine.and im a much better person for being committed. I also was homeless. Cant social Servies help u with a agency that does housing or grpoup homes for the mental/physical disabled?
My state has one catholic charities they put me in a group home for bout 4 months then a apt with a roommate for another 4 months tnow im on my own. They make sure u take ur meds and get u help where u need it.Check into somrthing like that i know they r all over. I wish u the best and know that we r always here for u. I will be praying for u and ur family I wish ur son and u well and ur family peace.
My son was transferred to a 28 day rehab hospital on Monday. I said I wasn't going to shell out any more money for rehab, but I couldn't help wanting to help him and he desperately needs rehab. Brian would smoke pot in his bedroom to self-medicate himself. Now he is taking medications for his bi-polar disorder diagnosed with at the mental facility. This diagnoses makes alot of sense to us with his personality we have been living with. I hope the medications do their thing, but I hope more that Brian will TAKE his medication as directed. That seems to be the biggest problem for bi-polar patients, they do not take their meds and life falls apart.
So I have a reprieve for about 28 days with my son, time for me to gain my strength back and heal. I saw my neuro Tuesday and he recommended that I use my walker since my gait has gotten worse with this flare. He is also sending me to have an MRI since it has been since November 2010 having one. Blood work followed for vit. D and B profiles, along with checking for some other things. He discussed with me the possibility of stopping tysabri since it doesn't seem to be working on stopping my flares. He mentioned gelinia (spelling sorry - the new oral drug). So, I do all these tests and go back in 4 weeks. My flare is getting worse, not better. I can hardly type this response. But this too shall pass (hopefully) and I will return to my normal disability level.
My dellimena still exists of where Brian will live once he comes out of rehab. My husband is adminant about him not living with us. He has had enough with his son. Said he will sell the house and I can go my way with Brian if that is what I want, but no way will Brian come home to live. Being a mother, I still feel like...he can come home, I'm his mother I cannot turn him out when he so desperately needs our help now. I'm trying not to think much about it, or when I am, remembering all the reasons why Brian should not live with us to make myself stronger to handle his discharge. Maybe the rehab facility will put him in a halfway house? My husband says he won't pay out any more money for Brian, so where would he get his first month's rent? It's all still complicated, but things are definately settling down, and Brian has received much help since he first tried to commit suicide.
Thank you all again for your kind words and hugs. I really appreciate the inspiration I get from them. In fact, it was through a hug encouragement to post something about the status of my son that I do so. I'll keep you all posted 28 days from now also!
he is the only one that can do this, it sounds selfish, but you know its breakin up your marriage ruining husbands life too. move start over-
there is only so much you can do for him- hope i didnt offend you in any way. tickey
Well, I guess it is settled for a while. It will be interesting to see what the social worker does for my son. I can only "let go and let God" handle this from here on out. My flare is getting worse as the weeks pass. I wonder what symptom will be next.
Again, thanks so much for the encouraging words. I have gotten strength from them.
Marilyn
All the support I got from you guys helped me turn my opinion around about not allowing him back into the house. I think since Brian is "out on his own" he will have a fighting chance of beating his addictions. I am less, way less, stressed about this decision and am starting to feel good inside about our decision the coming home is not an option.
I go for a brain MRI now. I don't know if it is a regularly scheduled MRi because I'm on Tysabri or if it is because i believe I'm in a flare from all this comotion. Whatever, I'm feeling much better about life these days! Again, many many thanks to all my DS friends for the support during this period of my life. Love you all!
My thoughts are with you and I hope that this flare will resolve itself. I have been incredibly stressed out myself and surprised that it hasn't brought me to my knees yet. (Although I did have a fall in the kitchen today that did bring me to my butt and I just laid on the floor for a while while I thought about whether I was hurt).
Anyway, my best to you. Thanks for the update. We are always pulling for you. I am learning so much for you all.