Multiple Sclerosis (MS) Support Group
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Hey everyone:
I posted this topic a year or so ago and I thought I post this again but this time gear it more toward guys. As our society still expect us, even in the year 2014, men are STILL seen more as breadwinners. Although, I won't necessary agree or disagree with this, it does create major issues for us as we have MS and yes, we might feel emasculated, more vulnerable, and simply afraid. And then, there is the issue of when to disclose the MS! Would the girl you are dating, simply run away?
All those feelings are what I feel.
What do you think? How do you feel about this? Any real stories?
Even though this was geared more toward guys, I would love to hear from both girls and guys because off course, this is also a major issue for girls with MS as well.
Thanks so much in advance!
I posted this topic a year or so ago and I thought I post this again but this time gear it more toward guys. As our society still expect us, even in the year 2014, men are STILL seen more as breadwinners. Although, I won't necessary agree or disagree with this, it does create major issues for us as we have MS and yes, we might feel emasculated, more vulnerable, and simply afraid. And then, there is the issue of when to disclose the MS! Would the girl you are dating, simply run away?
All those feelings are what I feel.
What do you think? How do you feel about this? Any real stories?
Even though this was geared more toward guys, I would love to hear from both girls and guys because off course, this is also a major issue for girls with MS as well.
Thanks so much in advance!
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Usually I get a daily influx of emails on health topics. An article from Dr. Mercola really stood out recently though because it mentioned that fat cells have their own mitochondria. Not only was this the first I'd heard of this, he also mentioned that fat serves a purpose in our metabolism. Another new factoid for me. The bottom line for me was to appreciate that even our fat cells play a...
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I just do not feel well and I really think that it's because I cried yesterday on my way to work about my Aunt who is in the hospital. I don't think that we will have her much longer. She is very frail. Now she needs help eating. So, this is the third time in a year that I felt this way after crying. I think crying releases toxins into my body. I also worked up a sweat at the gym...
My two cents is that if you want honesty you must give it. If someone leaves in the beginning they won't stay until the end.
Get to know someone and let them know who you are. You do not need to tell them of your disease upon meeting, as it does not define you. You define you. If you like her and she says she likes you for you. Then at this point, tell her to know you is also to know your health. Then be honest.
If they leave...well then they would have left at some time only with more pain to you. Better a little pain today then a lot later. If they stay you know you have a shot at keeping someone who is willing to stick with you in hard times. Is this not what you want?
I wish you the best and hope you can find love,
EP
ex-husband 'Well, that's not too bad'
long time friend ' You won't be hearing from me, I can't cope with the fact you have MS'
the man I now live with ' You better come and live with me'
I just want to show that people respond very differently and that it IS possible to find that special someone who loves you no matter what.
And...don't forget, there r many women in today's age that are more focused on their career then being the 'stay at home housewife'. She may be happy to be the breadwinner & have her partner being the stay at home.
Hopefully I'm not typical, but it happens. And at my age and condition, there aren't options or a possible future with someone else. My dx came out of the blue, so there was no planning for this. That being said I wish I had given it a little more thought before we got married. If I'm honest with myself, there were signs, but of course I overlooked those. Should've listened to the voice in my head...
I have a double whammy in the fact that I have MS, but was diagnosed a year after I became a widow at 34. Some people have a hard time with medical issues, others have issues with widowhood because they feel since there was no divorce, the deceased person will be held on a pedestal of sorts. (My last boyfriend's own words on why he never dated a widow prior to me.)
If you no longer work or have an obvious sign of some medical issue showing, it is harder NOT to disclose it. But, like the others have mentioned, if you are honest with them and they run, they are not the type of person you need to be involved with anyway.
Some people are too easy to dismiss someone for looks or health issues. I know for me, I have never been bothered about those things myself in others. Since my diagnosis though, I do get very nervous about a boyfriend who may not be able to help me if I relapse, or not be able to help him if he needs my help. I know how tough it was to care for my husband when he was sick with cancer. I love to help others and when I am unable to, it can stress me to the point of relapse.
If this does not bother you, is there a dating site that is for people with MS or other medical conditions?
Best of luck.
When I was dating, I wouldn't mention it right off but if it seemed there was potential for a nice relationship, I had to mention it before getting too involved. I just wouldn't like for someone to be totally invested in a relationship and then spring news like that. Since everyone is different.
Personally, I always had the mindset that I would never want to count on anyone besides myself to make my living. My goal was to be completely independent and I was. My goal is to get there again. I think relationships should be as even as they can be if at all possible.
Holy Crap tthat is just awful! II'm sorry to hear of meeting/ startin to be ""friends with"; Jack asses like that. nobody knows WHAT ANY DAY is going to bring anyone.
I don't belivie you ASKED that person to "Take care of me for fun!"
I'm sorry, some people do have irrating expectations, that THEY THINK we would like for THEM to do FOR US; IF they hear the "handicapped, Wheel Chair, and God forbid ".. Please help me with..." When youd like them to pick up a PENCIL and bring that 10 feet away!