Multiple Sclerosis (MS) Support Group
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Didn't know what to title this & that seemed as good as any.
Are others looking forward to Christmas or not & dreading it?
I am finding each year that I am getting less & less interested in Christmas parties/get togethers etc. I didn't even go to the ms group Christmas lunch which I could have organised appt's different so I could have gone.
There is another one next Thursday morning so I will try to go to that.
I have declined works Christmas party (never go as its only a booze up), we have been invited to my sisters on christmas eve, we went last year & it is my sister & hubby, one daughter & her son & his father so a small group. Neither of us really want to go & no real reason.
I haven't written Christmas cards yet, forced myself to write a few today & didn't enjoy it - chore, past I always had them written before December hit & enjoyed getting them, now when we get one I'm like, dam I will have to start doing them soon. I am writing the basic in them & that's all, in the past I used to always write a note in them to people I haven't seen for a while or live interstate etc. It just feels like one more thing I have to do.
Is it because I am so busy with medical crap? Last week I had rheumatologist on Wednesday after work, pain clinic on Thursday (& they are changing my meds so I have to decrease & go off gabapentin before I can start endep). Pain is getting worse already & I have only decreased by 1 a day (take 4). This week I had Botox clinic on Monday & had 27 units around my eyes - to try to stop nerve movement & keep eyelid open. Had a shocking migraine today so didn't go to work & on Friday (supposed to work) I am having a shoulder dilation done (cortisone under ultrasound) at the local hospital. Arm will probably be sore for a few days. Still got foot in boot & got mri booked for 20 December & looks like wont see the foot surgeon till January. I am struggling to walk at all, have trouble with vision - got an appt with low vision clinic next Tuesday too.
Got no energy & dreading summer & the heat.
To make things worse we are scattering Dad's ashes at some park on Saturday so that is probably going to be a big family thing which I usually avoid. I don't get on with one of my sisters & don't ask me why but she turned her back on me last time I saw her so dread seeing her & her 3 sons who are stuck up.
I think everything is just getting to me & being in pain constantly & barely able to walk at all is probably causing it too.
I used to love Christmas, look forward to catching up with friends (cant be bothered) & going to a carols service or similar. This year no joy at all. It seems to be getting worse each year.
I have spent hours on the phone with different technicians trying to get chat to work. Got a new windows computer & it wont work on there either, all of them say 3rd party thing so they are not responsible (internet provider, computer service & the technician who came out) so can't even chat to people live anymore & miss that too.
I am having a real dummy spit & feeling sorry for myself arent I? Not usual for me but I am so tired of people being happy.
Hubby wants to go away for Christmas (in caravan) & we have his family Christmas on 18th, going to be real hard without his Mum there for 1st time. I can't get excited about going away or family lunch too which is usually good.
Anyway, I hope everyone else has a great Christmas & health stays good too.
Hugs
Are others looking forward to Christmas or not & dreading it?
I am finding each year that I am getting less & less interested in Christmas parties/get togethers etc. I didn't even go to the ms group Christmas lunch which I could have organised appt's different so I could have gone.
There is another one next Thursday morning so I will try to go to that.
I have declined works Christmas party (never go as its only a booze up), we have been invited to my sisters on christmas eve, we went last year & it is my sister & hubby, one daughter & her son & his father so a small group. Neither of us really want to go & no real reason.
I haven't written Christmas cards yet, forced myself to write a few today & didn't enjoy it - chore, past I always had them written before December hit & enjoyed getting them, now when we get one I'm like, dam I will have to start doing them soon. I am writing the basic in them & that's all, in the past I used to always write a note in them to people I haven't seen for a while or live interstate etc. It just feels like one more thing I have to do.
Is it because I am so busy with medical crap? Last week I had rheumatologist on Wednesday after work, pain clinic on Thursday (& they are changing my meds so I have to decrease & go off gabapentin before I can start endep). Pain is getting worse already & I have only decreased by 1 a day (take 4). This week I had Botox clinic on Monday & had 27 units around my eyes - to try to stop nerve movement & keep eyelid open. Had a shocking migraine today so didn't go to work & on Friday (supposed to work) I am having a shoulder dilation done (cortisone under ultrasound) at the local hospital. Arm will probably be sore for a few days. Still got foot in boot & got mri booked for 20 December & looks like wont see the foot surgeon till January. I am struggling to walk at all, have trouble with vision - got an appt with low vision clinic next Tuesday too.
Got no energy & dreading summer & the heat.
To make things worse we are scattering Dad's ashes at some park on Saturday so that is probably going to be a big family thing which I usually avoid. I don't get on with one of my sisters & don't ask me why but she turned her back on me last time I saw her so dread seeing her & her 3 sons who are stuck up.
I think everything is just getting to me & being in pain constantly & barely able to walk at all is probably causing it too.
I used to love Christmas, look forward to catching up with friends (cant be bothered) & going to a carols service or similar. This year no joy at all. It seems to be getting worse each year.
I have spent hours on the phone with different technicians trying to get chat to work. Got a new windows computer & it wont work on there either, all of them say 3rd party thing so they are not responsible (internet provider, computer service & the technician who came out) so can't even chat to people live anymore & miss that too.
I am having a real dummy spit & feeling sorry for myself arent I? Not usual for me but I am so tired of people being happy.
Hubby wants to go away for Christmas (in caravan) & we have his family Christmas on 18th, going to be real hard without his Mum there for 1st time. I can't get excited about going away or family lunch too which is usually good.
Anyway, I hope everyone else has a great Christmas & health stays good too.
Hugs
I do love Christmas as in the decorations,spirit ect and having both my girls at home helps heaps,in saying that I do find it so draining hate, hubbys work do's and stuff basically socializing really isn't me anymore I am so flipping fatigued all the time I cant keep my eyes open at night..
I'm sorry about you and sister thats awful I wonder whats her prob with you????Going away might be just what you need...( I know Aussie summers are a nightmare for Ms'ers ...but truley getting away might be key!!!
Sorry your having such a rough time,
I'll send you some warm sqishy hugs :)
bye
I think for me, it is the pressure of getting the house cleaned up from all the construction we are having done which is killing me. I just don't seem to have places for everything, so it sits against the walls and looks a mess. I'm too tired all the time to worry about all the mess, another problem.
Our family is spread out all over the US so getting together is not an option during the Holidays. My brother however, is in Washington, DC this year, so I suspect that I will see him. I'm dredding it because of my house is such a mess. I think that is all that is discouraging me from the Holiday Spirit this year, my messy house! I love the Christmas season, it is my favorite time of year but I just don't feel it this year either.
So you're tired of people being "so happy?" Don't be so hard on yourself. You do what makes you comfortable this year with the Holidays. Maybe going away with the immediate family would be nice and no pressures. DS is a place where you can come and communicate your true feelings, and if you are not happy or feeling sad about something, you should be able to come here and express those feelings and get it out. It helps to talk to friends.
Even though I feel like this I do hope everyone has a Merry Christmas!
With the "Happy Holidays/Merry Christmas" controversy, I just wish everyone: Good Yule!
Lynne, is your brother coming to see you, or your house? If it bothers you more than it does him, have you consider having Merry Maids or a professional organizer come for a day? And let that be your brother's gift to you - most of us don't need more stuff anyway.
For the past several years I've e-mailed my holiday newsletter so I have less than ten to mail. Anything to make life easier.
Think we will go away, neighbours are fine to look after dogs which is good as don't like putting them in kennels, have never done it yet.
Once over this Saturday maybe I will feel better.
Got to get back to work to next week. If I could walk a bit at least without constant pain that would be easier, dont care about using walker - used to that. Got a carer coming shortly then myotherapy this afternoon (massage deep tissue) so always look forward to thtat too.
Hugs to all, going out tog et vit d in sun to hang out washing LOL.
Surviving the Holiday Season
Dear Self - This year I will not stress myself out over getting to every holiday party. I will take extra time to take care of myself. I will ask for help if I need it and I will not take on more than I am able to do. I will not feel badly if the lights dont work or the turkey burns. I am gift enough. - love, me
Try listening to a great christmas song or two. Not that stuff on the radio that is really bad, but a classic version of "Have your self a merry little Chrsitmas" or something. Listen to it alone and listen to the words and remind yourself of the greatest things about this holiday. I too was having a hard time but had to get with it (my son is 2). This really helped me. Also, like lchoppel said, don't try to do it all, just do that things that you like best and screw the rest...this is sure to bring you a merry little Chrsitmas!
Happy Holidays, you all are the best, Emily
I am too tired to decorate, or think of decorating. Hubby loves it and drags everything out and makes a mess. I feel horrible, the cold weather bothers me now, I don't enjoy being around a lot of people, don't like traveling 7 hours to my husband's family.....to quote The Grinch......"oh the noise, noise, noise" and my hearing is so sensitive now. PlusI am having eye pain and cannot stand to even have the lights blinking on the tree!!!
I have always hated the commercialism of it all....buy, buy, buy!!! For those of us who are of the Christain faith, it is a religious holiday. Why can't we go to church and then have a big dinner together at church or with family at home like Thanksgiving. I don't have the money or ability to go out shopping. I have a hard enough time just going to the grocery store. Collect food for our local food banks instead of giving gifts!!!!!
I don't mean to sound like Scooge, but come on people.......we are chronically ill and it is just hard enough getting out of bed everyday and doing "normal" stuff. Showering wares me out!!! If I cook the family dinner mea....that is success!!!
I am on the other side where i'm finally starting to enjoy Christmas. Not for myself but because my 2 year old son is starting to understand it, and it's so amazing to watch. Simple things like putting lights on the house are just so amazing to him, and I enjoy seeing those light-up-reactions he gives us.