Multiple Sclerosis (MS) Support Group

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melaniemic 12/13/2011

my ssd, which i was blessed to get, just doensnt stretch far enough. My car needed some work, I could not hold off on it and it took away any extra i had hoped to get the kids something for christmas. I feel so ashamed that i cannot get the kids any thing. I did bake some cookies, I made the cut-outs, and decorated them. i made the mini cheesecake in the little muffin cups and I made a batch of chocolate cookies that were terrible!!!! The others turned out good and it was good for me in the sense that I was doing it for them.

I used to have a good job and I admit I went overbaord in previous years. Now i cant even get them anything unless I want to fall behind in my bills.

My local daughter has invited me for Xmas with her in-laws.They will have gifts for me and I won't have any for them. I am so ashamed that I plan to fake feeling ill that day and not go at all. maybe I can scrounge something up in the next month and stall seeing them.
Thankfully i have enough for the postage to get the cookies off to the one out of state.

I am crying as i am typing... hard to type when the print is blurred from tears and snot is running down my nose.

I was happy while I made their cookies but I am so afraid that they will be mad at me for not getting them a gift. All the baking exhausted me and I am just needing a good cry!!!!

I HATE CHRISTMAS

I HATE BEING BROKE, thankyou ms.

how many others of us are in this sinking boat of life with ms??

deleted_user 12/14/2011

First of all, many hugs to you.
we need family and friends to help the boat stay afloat...so do not stop yourself from going to be with your family ,
they need you and you need them, especially at Christmas.
times together give us all REAL hugs.
so cry, cry, cry, but go, go, go...

deleted_user 12/15/2011

I agree with Emily as well =) Your family loves you and will understand!! And they want you there..trust me!!! And the baked goods and the food ( next to family of course) are the best part =] And I love your avatar as well...I plan to retire off my Wizard of Oz collection/ memorabilia!! Merry Christmas ~Heidi

melaniemic 12/15/2011

I want to thank everyone for their kind and supportive responses to my post here. You have given me great idea, and great advice.

I had a real good cry over it and it did really help, too. it's been a few days since I posted this and I am feeling much better.

I will go, i know that even if I am uncomfortable, it would hurt more people than it would help. Christmas is about the birth of Christ, anyway, it's not all about the money. My kids are grown now and by now they know that too.

I got my out of state package of cookies off today and sent along a card with it and I wrote a poem to my daugther and her husband. i sure hope they like that more than some silly gadget I could but them, I am so happy for my kids that they are in much better financia situation than I and even told me that there is nothing they really need. She misses us so much, too and just wants to know that we're thinking of her. She can't get away from her retail job during the holiday seasons and that is the worst part for her.

My local daughter, and her in-laws are very down to earth and well off, too.

I guess I needed to vent and have that good cry. I saw a commercial on tv of children in the cancer wards on Christmas. How dare I complain, my life could be much worse.

I gave them some real good past Christmases with lots of presents, I think that was a lot of guilt that I was a single parent to them. They don't remember the gifts now. They remember the memories of being together, same as I.

For everyone else in my same boat, I can really identify. I don't like my situation, but It is what it is and it could be worse, so I will count my blessings.

I still HATE MS though.

Thanks again to all. :)

deleted_user 12/16/2011

Hi, so sorry that you are feeling bad, i think bake some cookies and take them with you and just explain to your family that you financially cannot do gifts, (they probably already know) you do not have to take gifts to have a great time with family. i have definetely have had to do that. this disease sucks.

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