All of my symptoms that no one seems to be able to figure out have done nothing but get worse in the past three weeks. I've been having tremors, more spasticity, and muscle twitching. Last night I had another one of my "seizures" (for lack of a better word, I've never been given a decent explanation for them). My first neuro said they were pseudoseizures after one negative EEG a week after having had one. The second neuro said something happened but he does know what's going on with me.

I haven't had one in almost a year since I started my Depakote. I'm semi-conscious during them but I can't move or talk, they're scary. When I "woke up" my nails were blue which was even more scary. No one has been able to tell me what to do when it happens. I was treated so badly in the hospital last time that I don't want to go back. My nurse yelled at me in disgust to stop faking. The neuro (my first one) had me diagnosed before he walked in the door and tried to convince my parents to have me sent up to the psych ward. I actually feel ashamed of myself after I have one and I'm scared to go to the hospital after that.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do from here. I'm frustrated that this happened again. I'm discouraged about ever figuring out what's going on. No one even seems concerned about them, except me, after the first neuro told me it's psychological. I can't think straight today, I even managed to space out and miss getting my youngest son on the bus. I wish I was a decisive kind of person that knew what to do when something happens. I don't know what to think anymore, I feel like I'll never get an answer.