Studies show that the stress levels associated with end-of-life situations, in the absence of advance directives from the patient, are among the highest of any kind of personal crisis. Advance directives are a way to take control of end-of-life decisions now, before the fact, when there is time for reflection and when informed, intelligent choices can be made. You are smart to be doing this now.

The hospital should have forms about your health-care decision-making forms. I got mine at my community hospital, and all I had to do was fill in the blanks and initial on my wishes. The "Living Will" form allows you to make health care decision in the future if your health from a terminal condition or persistent vegetative state is imminent, despite the application of life-sustaining procedures. The "Appointment of Health Care Agent" form allows you to select someone to make your health care decisions in case of a terminal condition, persistent vegetative state, or end-stage condition. The "Health Care Instructions" form provides instructions to your health care agent or physician. This final form covers further decisions regarding your health care that you may want to discuss with your appointed health care agent.

If your hospital does not offer this service of providing these forms, do a google search and download some of the free forms available on the internet.

You are smart for advance planning. I too have my advance directives established and it really does release some stress.

I have written you a private message on this that I think you should find helpful.

Gentle hugs and joined at the heart, Linda

Do a google search of "Living Will," "Advance Directive," "Power of Attorney," most of them are free and you just fill in the blanks.

hate to hear it- but yes i have done this-free forms on net- and writw what -you- disire- its legal-a notary stamps it- your signiture- we can donate organs- if you want- but no blood or bone marrow- oh- i dont anyone takin locks of hair- they can do this!!-urg!! so no i put that in there too- only organ donate- if they r still ok!1 you have my hearfelt thoughts and prayers!! hugs!!!

I arranged everything after my father died. No one knew what to do with him nor his body. That really bothered me a lot!

After this situation had more or less passed, I immediately pre-arranged funerals for both my husband and I. This was in 1998 or so. It seemed like a lot of money to come up with (over $1,600.00 for both of us to be cremated). Today, the same thing is close to $3,500.00 a person! Gee I got a deal!

After this, I drew up a DO NOT RESUSCITATE (DNR) for myself as I do not care to be resuscitate should I code (meaning I become unconscious and am very sick --- like a heart attack sitution or worse). After seeing my father the way he was after a massive stroke, I knew I did not was to be resuscitated should it come to a situation like this.

I also have forms drawn up for both my husband and I that would not allow the hospitals alive should it come down to a situation where staying alive would lead to being kept alive in a horrific state. I did this a long time ago too.

I'd recommend everyone deal with these issues. You can do it yourself and you do not need a lawyer to have the above documents prepared (simple to do yourself) luckily.

I hope this helps and believe me, you are in my thoughts and prayers and your husband automatically has Power of Attorney being he is your husband. It would be wise to have such documents drawn up in any event, just in case something or someone tries to step-in and manipulate the situation.

In the meantime, again you are in my thoughts and prayers and I am sad to read your post and I hope you get better!

from my experience with working with patients and my mother in law when it comes to wills and medical directives, i strongly suggest you putting down everything you wish and want. i would put your husband first. if there was any reason why your husband can not make decisions on your behalf of what you would like or want then it would be in writing on paper what you do want. by law they are to follow those wishes. even if its a judge, social worker, dr etc. now if there is medical directive, will or next to kin then the judges, social worker, state, dr etc would make their own choices on your behalf.
i also strongly recommend that you get this notarized and filed with the facility you are staying at, your dr's office and with the court.

hope this helps,
christysms

hey Kayce,

I also put my wishes down step by step in my will.

In addition to a do-not-resuscitate order, have you thought about a removal of life support if there is no possibility of a normal life?

Thanks guys that helps
I talked to my therapist today about this & she is going to talk to my SW.
She thinks I should talk to my doc about this.
As he will know what is likely to come up.
I was told by the therapist if I have everything in writing & in my chart they will do what I want.
She thought it was a good idea to do this.
It will also give me peace of mind.
Thanks again