Every time I look back on my slumps I have no idea how I even make it out each time. Remember that this too shall pass, and your worries abide, that all things happen for a reason, that you are loved. Other than that, I don't know. Hang in there.

Thanks for taking time to share your kind words. I have been dx with MS since Dec 2009 but have had it since 1982.

I am so up and down all the time. You are right there is a reason for all things. At least I have some wonderful people out there like me that understand what we go through. I always tell my husband but you know he is so sweet to try to understand but I think only we can really understand MS and how it effects us.

Hi

I also had MS for a long time, really had no clue about what was wrong with me, and I sort of wanted what the doctors were saying, one thing not related to another, Reynaud's and just because I smoked, and just depressed and sore muscles, too much work, on and on. I knew something was happening, but I just didn't know what. I would get tremors sometimes doing things I had done for years and think.."too much coffee," or "not enough coffee."

I thought that the tingling and pins and needles feeling that started in my legs in 2002, well, maybe because I was driving to work everyday instead of walking alot and riding the bus? yeah, right.

Finally in 2005, I lost the sight in my right eye, and there it was...MS. All the pieces fit in to place. I had an answer. This was all good. I was finally able to make choices about the various right paths for treatment. And then none of that seemed enough. I had MS. I had MS. I ignored it, I worked harder, I was sad but decided it was fatigue and nothing new.

It has now been five years since I was dxd. I have gone through many phases, I have been relieved to know, sad to know, really depresssed to know. I have pushed myself to work and work, I have been found to be disabled and no longer do the work I love. I have thought about my future, and considered how I lived my past.

I still get depressed, I think it is always with me, to some degree. I have suffered really crappy "rare" side effects to my meds. I have all kinds of things to be depressed about. But I have a choice. And today I choose not to be.

The important thing is to realize that it will be okay. When it is hard to see anything, remember you will again see everything. Take the love around you and be thankful. Don't push people away. Nobody can ever understand that does not have MS, but they can still really care and try hard. Let them. It will be okay.

Oh Nikki you are so very wise! I take comfort as well in your words and are so glad you are here as a sounding board. I have been diagnosed for almost 10 years, had it for more than 20 and I too still am going through "phases" but the worst is the deep depressions but I know I'll come out the other end - for me it is just letting go of my past and if I could find a tool for that I feel as if I would be home free! I am open to any and all suggestions but to Juanita, this too shall pass, I promise, I am living proof!

I hope this helps.

1) Remember you are not alone. There are a number of us who have been there.....WE ARE HERE FOR YOU.
2) Never be afraid of that your MS can teach you.
3) Acceptance and Denial are part of the process.
4) Get a support group.....I use church too.
5) Try Yoga it relaxes you.

With that said I will share a story that I hope helps.

I am in a wheelchair so I am at "Butt Level" with the world. I took this as a way to see the world at a different veiw. While sometimes there are big butts, or little butts there is only one BUTT that I can really learn from.................

here it is..........I may have MS "BUTT" the one thing I have always cherished in my heart is that I am at the same level as a child. I can see things from their veiwpoints and I can really understand my kids who say "Look at that daddy" and they point at something that I would have easily missed if I wasn't at "BUTT" Level.

I sincerely hope that this has helped.

Check out the inspiration post.

Thank you ersell

I keep telling myself how blessed I am. I really appreciate your comment. Brings things in perspective. I will get over this. I do believe that the only way to live with MS is to stay positive but sometimes it is soooo hard.
Thanks again
Juanita