Multiple Personalities Support Group
Dissociative identity disorder is a diagnosis described as the existence in an individual of two or more distinct identities or personalities, each with its own pattern of perceiving and interacting with the environment. At least two of these personalities are considered to routinely take control of the individual's behavior, and there is also some associated memory loss,...
Last night, I decided to try actual dating rather than go back to my old random hook up habit.
I contacted this 'looking for love' guy. He seems nice, we're meeting up today.. but the things that go through my head, it's absurd!
To make it PG I'm just going to substitute all the swear words with ##.
- He saw your ugly photos and he wants to see you, he must be a pervert, what a ##. I hate him. Oh no, we're going to have to kill him. How dare he ruin our lives like that, we haven't had to kill anyone yet.
- I'm not touching his ## that's disgusting, I'm not a poof. (Um you're in a girl body) AM ##'ING NOT! You're revolting. I'm going to kill you.
- (Child comments about what sexual activities they might do with this man) No you won't, you're just a kid. I is big an is gon to cos I wiked it. (I think I'm going to throw up)
- He's going to like me best, and then I'll get to live here and you're all going to get stuck in the tunnel, so HA.
- OMG, why is he texting again. Why can't he just leave us alone. He better not touch us. If he does I'm going to punch his head in.
- He's going to be my daddy and he'll be nice and not mean. (Well actually he won't know about you, and he won't want to snuggle you he'll want to ## you.) Cries
- We already told him we're a looser. We don't drive, work, wake up in the morning. We have no neck. Why can't he just leave us alone? How could he like us, it must be a trick.
- I don't wanna touch him, I just wanna colour. Whys he want to hurt us? Why?
- I think I have gastro, maybe I can cancel. Or tell him I have AIDS, but then what if he doesn't care, or tells everyone else? Maybe I can be all gross and he'll go away.
- Why the ## did you even contact him in the first place?? What a ##. Are you trying to get us killed? Why can't you just be happy with us? Aren't we good enough?
- You shoulda just got a random, least no ones gotta talk to em. I'll go ## a random now if it makes you feel better. Then we can ditch this ## and be back together.
Etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. Blah blah blah.
Good times..
I contacted this 'looking for love' guy. He seems nice, we're meeting up today.. but the things that go through my head, it's absurd!
To make it PG I'm just going to substitute all the swear words with ##.
- He saw your ugly photos and he wants to see you, he must be a pervert, what a ##. I hate him. Oh no, we're going to have to kill him. How dare he ruin our lives like that, we haven't had to kill anyone yet.
- I'm not touching his ## that's disgusting, I'm not a poof. (Um you're in a girl body) AM ##'ING NOT! You're revolting. I'm going to kill you.
- (Child comments about what sexual activities they might do with this man) No you won't, you're just a kid. I is big an is gon to cos I wiked it. (I think I'm going to throw up)
- He's going to like me best, and then I'll get to live here and you're all going to get stuck in the tunnel, so HA.
- OMG, why is he texting again. Why can't he just leave us alone. He better not touch us. If he does I'm going to punch his head in.
- He's going to be my daddy and he'll be nice and not mean. (Well actually he won't know about you, and he won't want to snuggle you he'll want to ## you.) Cries
- We already told him we're a looser. We don't drive, work, wake up in the morning. We have no neck. Why can't he just leave us alone? How could he like us, it must be a trick.
- I don't wanna touch him, I just wanna colour. Whys he want to hurt us? Why?
- I think I have gastro, maybe I can cancel. Or tell him I have AIDS, but then what if he doesn't care, or tells everyone else? Maybe I can be all gross and he'll go away.
- Why the ## did you even contact him in the first place?? What a ##. Are you trying to get us killed? Why can't you just be happy with us? Aren't we good enough?
- You shoulda just got a random, least no ones gotta talk to em. I'll go ## a random now if it makes you feel better. Then we can ditch this ## and be back together.
Etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. Blah blah blah.
Good times..
*sigh*
Sympathies.
"Holy f&%k, what do I do now?"
The pressure around dating is just ridiculous for anyone and it's worse for people who have been through abuse because we feel such an overwhelming need to stay safe.
I don't "date" and have never "dated" and absolutely abhor "going out on a date." It's WAY too much pressure. Instead, I move from close friendships into intimate relationships but it extremely gradual.
Hope that helps.