is good you have a friend you trust enough to let him know that you're Multiple. I hope he realises just how privileged he is. He probably won't, not at first. None of us non-Multiples do. It can take quite a while for us to appreciate how fortunate we are to have you as friends and not just friend singular

oh, a PS ...
there is no need to feel shame. The way I think of it, in a strange way becoming Multiple is a kind of success story as it helped you survive things i may well not have survived. I think you can be proud of all your Alters

I'm multiple but I am one of many people who don't meet the criteria for D.I.D. (I'm learning that the majority of multiples don't).

I'm grateful that I found books by Dr Alison Miller. She's been working with multiples for over 27 years.

She does not consider multiplicity a disorder. It is a highly adaptive survival skill.

In every instance the child's mind chooses to "split" in order to survive horrific events that the undeveloped minds of children are not capable of processing or surviving.

We have come to believe that it is also an amazing act of hope. When you split you are saying that you will live beyond this horrific event and then you save the healing for when you're big enough to process the information. Hope.

Until recently I've only been "out" as being multiple with my therapist, psychiatrist and a friend of 26 years.

My insiders only interact with Our therapist and best friend.

I have told two other people in the last month and I can totally relate to the feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I'm also quite protective of my insiders.

I've realized that they were "going away" when I was spending time with friends. I told them that they are not a secret, they are a wonderful surprise. They don't have to run away. We can all be here together and We only let the people We choose to know.

My Wee Ones thought it sounded like a lot of fun. "We be like 'psst' and NOBODY know! Like We have walkie talkies inside!" We can experience everything and talk with each other inside.

I was scared of being multiple at first... It was difficult to hear, feel and connect with insiders who are developmentally children when I am in my 40s.

My therapist led me by example in accepting myself and my insiders.

Getting to know your insiders... It's been the most beautiful experience of my life. Yes, there are traumatic memories to process but We also have a lot of fun. We frickin crack me up!

Last week I had a 15 year old self emerge who hadn't been anywhere, no life experience or knowledge of Our life since I was 15.

I came out as being gay at 17... At one point I felt her find out that We're gay. I thought "Oh dear" and paused waiting for her response.

She was instantly relieved. Everything made so much sense now and she didn't have to worry about that "boy" thing anymore. :)

I was laughing about the paradox of coming out at 17 and now my 15 year old self also knows that she's gay with my psychiatrist (who's gay as well).

She told me I get extra "rainbow points" for going back in time and coming out two years earlier than before.

My Wee Ones immediately imagined a big board where We could collect Our rainbow points. Their rainbow points looked like stickers. :)

I often tell my therapist "it may not always be easy but it is NEVER boring!"

We hope you and your insiders have a good experience with them having new friends. I've realized that they have actually picked the people I've told. My insiders already love them.

I envy you and your exceptence of your parts and the relationship you have with them. I guess I accept it, but I haven't figured out how to embrace it. My therapist is wonderful, so supportive and very experienced working with DID. I do think it is fascinating that the human brain can do that to survive, however not when it's me. I would be interested, curious and supportive if it was a friend. I can't apply that to myself.

Thank you for sharing your view point. You make it sound so less scary and intrusive. I'm happy for you that you can handle it so positively.

Erin
What criteria are you not if you are multiple? I mean are you DDNOS?

I have some people who know about my disorder that are amazing with my others, like instantly responding well to new people, not minding when my snarlies get mad at being called by the wrong name.
But this friend, whom I've been able to discuss so many things with, responds ... oddly when we talk about it. I know he doesn't really understand cause it just is weird until you see it play out. But he's so....organized as a person. I honestly feel like he is going to just think that I could just find a way to be more tidy as a human and that would take care of it.
And when I came out in the store with him, he just kept looking at me weird, and it was really awkward.

I don't really know how I can tell who to trust so I feel on guard every minute.

KittyT, my mind doesn't always work as well as I'd like. When someone / something catches me by surprise it often just sort of disengages, and might only start to process it sometime later. When this has happened, I know my friends have felt uncomfortable or even hurt at times. Perhaps something similar is happening with your friend? Please try to not think the worst, your friendship with him might feel like it's changing, but it might be transitioning into something stronger, deeper?

I like the positive note K2, but he even has stressed that my best qualities are also my worst. I have a child-like eagerness and openness and get excited about the smallest, strangest things. I think he finds this frustrating at times because it is not practical and is sometimes inconvenient. So I don't know, he probably was judging me, not just disengaged, but who knows?

Kitty, I understand how you are feeling. I have done that in the past too. It was a moment with them that I felt confident that this person would understand, but after that I was so ashamed that I did, I thought now they are going to treat me differently and see me as a mentally ill person rather than who I was to them before I revealed my DID with them.

A lot of people cannot get their head around our condition. It sounds like he is accepting your condition and sees how difficult it was for you to reveal that to him.

I cannot help you with the feels of being ashamed, because I go through the same thing. Now at this point in my life I share it with no one so that I do not have to feel that shame again.

I would talk to him and ask him if you weirded him out by telling him that. I think talking about that with him might lesson your feelings of shame.

Thanks all...we.ll see.
It may well be that HE is paranoid; he has been going through some very trying times at our workplace, and may be wary about discussions we have because I don't see things from the same side he does. Not that he doesn't trust me usually, but maybe this time he feels he can't.

Anyway thanks for all the help and comments all!