I'm sorry you are having to go through this yet again.
Me and a few others from my mental health support group just took a friend to the hospital as few days ago.
She is bipolar... Being suicidal is common in our group. Indeed we lost one earlier in the year.
As we have discussed many times before in this group:
It appears finding the right medication and/or therapy is an arduous journey for many.... indeed getting an accurate diagnosis itself can be challenging.

I don't feel like you're getting the right help and I feel powerless to help you... But I'm here to listen and want you to be safe and make some progress in healing.
I cannot say that I myself have really healed a lot this year as I have been drinking and smoking a lot... But I'm trying to find a way to keep going.

My thoughts are with you loum, I am sorry you are going through this. We deserve more than just surviving... You deserve better than this bullshit you're going thru.
Still I want you to be safe... So please get to hospital before you get to passing out.

Keep us posted on your status.

Right now I'm feeling very negative. I feel trapped with no escape. I hate being triggered. I'm sitting in my big comfortable chair hugging my dog.

I'm so sorry for your suffering.

Sending positive thoughts and safe hugs in your direction. We understand the difficulties this period presents. My suicidal alter wants you to know that this is the way they keep themselves safe. Trying to argue this point with them is awfully taxing on the whole though let alone the ramifications if they do get out. Stay safe.

Hi Lou

I am sorry you are going through this struggle so soon. Have you talked to your therapist about the suicidal part? Please let us know everything is ok. As you know, you are very valuable and have many things to contribute to this world. Please do what it takes to choose life.

K

I have been talking to my therapist about my suicide attempts. Today I'm feeling angry, dissapointed, sad and depressed. My family was going to take a trip Saturday to look at the foilage with me, but they decided they had better things to do. We had this trip planed for weeks. I certainly have suicidal thoughts, but just thoughts. I have to be able to sit with my feelings.

you could go on a public trip and look at the leaves. Like by where I live there is a boat that goes out a few times a day. It's public and people often just talk to one another. It can still be fun.

I'm in a wheelchair and there is no handicap transportation here on weekends. Today, I told them I wanted to go to my in person support group and they decided they didn't want to take me. I'm just totally depressed and I feel isolated. Monday I have two doctor appointments, I wonder if they will decide not to take me there. I was supposed to go for lab work today and they didn't take me.

I'm not in very good shape right now.

What's the point in being alive. I guess I'm in charge again. I could start cutting my arm again or taking an overdose or something that will knock me out.

All they want me fore is money. If I'm no longer here they be SOL. What's the use of being alive?

PLEASE call someone right now.

I already took enough to put me out. They will take the neighbors anywhere, but not me and I pay for the car and the gas. What's the point of calling anyone.
I hope I don't wake up. It will be just another worthless day.

Oh no lou. Please dont base your worth on these people. You know it is just a part that feels that way and you are worthwhile

I woke up. Friday I missed two medical appointments and my support group. I feel so all alone. I wonder if they will take me to my support group tomorrow or my two medical appointments Monday. They will probably be too busy, then they will want money for gas. Then they will take me someplace maybe.

I really have had enough. Today I'm going to see how low I can get my blood sugar.

loum....i sorry you hurting so much....

this is why we all need to have a recovery action plan that includes people in our support network that we can call for help or can take us to hospital or call 911 for us, etc.

i know you may not have a support network in real life, but you have support here and we all care about you.

you are in crisis mode and need support...i have had those same thoughts of hopelessness....it is normal when depressed...