Multiple Personalities Support Group
Dissociative identity disorder is a diagnosis described as the existence in an individual of two or more distinct identities or personalities, each with its own pattern of perceiving and interacting with the environment. At least two of these personalities are considered to routinely take control of the individual's behavior, and there is also some associated memory loss,...
its always when im feeling sure and solid that i go crazy.
pride comes before a fall?
i was feeling i guess confident. like,i dont really need to deal with all the details that have mad e me DID, i just need to learn to !anage stress and be happy.
and i do think thats the key, learning to be happy. but of course the second i feel like my life is great, it gets complicated.
i just had a sexual proposal this weekend.not unwanted, because it came from someone i have had my eyes on for a long time. but like most of the involvement in my life, it would be short lived.
i seem to draw people that want to make out, a quick uncomplicated fuck, or friends with benefits.
im not slutty. i havent been with so many people that i would stand out from the norm. but i rarely have guys pursuing me with the intention of DATING me. they usually have an itch to scratch and use me like im sandpaper.
to be fair, i havent really demanded more. i have been wanting to feel valued and necessary my whole life and the only thing that proved that to me hsa been being "of service" in this way.
its totally de.valuing to who i am. i am so magical and incredible, iam astonished that i have allowed this throughout my life, but it makes sense because of wh ere ive been and where im from.
so this time i put my foot down. i said, ante up if you want to play with the high rollers.
and now im freaking out. i dont know how to act if aomeone were to see my value or beauty. i dont know what i would do if someone could look behind my facades and walls and see ME.
i guess im always single because i am afraid to give that much power to someone else. and afraid to splay myself wide open for someone
I only know you from on here, but I find you to be genuine, warm, intelligent and caring. I don't doubt that were we to meet each other in real life, I'd come to know you as both magical and incredible. Just as I'm sure that you add value to anyone who you let share your life. I hope you never let anyone convince you otherwise! But I can understand how scary it can be to make yourself so vulnerable to another.. Something I've never found easy
i am going through many changes and challenges right now, i think because i am pushng my boundaries.
but i am comforted to hear that opening up is a struggle for singulars or whatever u non DIDders call yourselves.
thank you for alwys being so open, honest and supportive. i think i would be so happy to meet u in real life!!
i wish we all could see ourselves as beautiful as we are
and I'm not remotely religious or churchy, so I really don't know why I said it quite that way
lol
with protectors wanting to either run or push people away, this makes such a connection challenging to say the least
letting someone in that close and then not somehow be codependent on them is challenging for us....so be aware of that
but it is healthy to have that part of you setting boundaries....continue to allow that principled to guide the relationship and you can lay the foundation of friendship which will provide for the healthy relationship u so seek....
i think it wise to wonder why non-Multiples might spend time here. I've been a member of DS for maybe 9 years perhaps and a member of this group for almost as long. In that time I've been concerned several times that people came here claiming to be Multiple who I suspected weren't. I never liked them and never trusted them. I don't know if it happens often, but I haven't noticed it for several years now.
How I got here is a tad convoluted but I'll try to give you an idea. About 15 year ago a colleague at work struck up a friendship with me. It was quite an intense non romantic friendship that suddenly imploded. Trying to make sense of what happened, I decided she might have multiple personalities. Dunno why I decided that cos it was something I'd never thought about and knew nothing of. I googled it and was led to a post on a Suicide Forum. This forum was for people that struggled against such thoughts. Many members of this forum were also members of a poetry forum, which I also joined. One of the members that I was paired with for a co-write self harmed. As did another member there. In order to understand more about self harm and be a better friend to these members, I joined the Self Harm group here on DS. It's strange how things happen, cos my co-write friend turned out to be Multiple, though she didn't know it at the time. So I joined this group. My friendship with the multiple poet slowly faded over the years, But by then I'd made several good friendships with members here, and continue those friendships today on FB, Hangouts, Messenger etc. So I've stayed a member here, even though my friends are rarely active here anymore. I find I'm always learning things that help make me a better friend for them.
a tad convoluted, but I hope that makes sense?
kevin
but really I'm just a very ordinary person. I think the fact that I'm old helps. I think it goes like this .....
the older you get the more you fuck up personally and the more you fuck up personally the more you develop empathy for others
..... see, just an ordinary function of being old, like always ordering softer foods in cafes and forgetting what you were saying half way through saying it and not remembering which cupboard door the mugs are hiding behind etc lol
you are the best