Multiple Personalities Support Group

Dissociative identity disorder is a diagnosis described as the existence in an individual of two or more distinct identities or personalities, each with its own pattern of perceiving and interacting with the environment. At least two of these personalities are considered to routinely take control of the individual's behavior, and there is also some associated memory loss,...

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jekelhyde 05/06/2011

I have a friend that is 32 going on 15 she often indulges herself instead of being responsible. She has the intellectual capacity to think critically but often doesn't bother to do so.

She got it in her head that we had a much closer relationship than what I felt it was and when I told her a few weeks ago we were just friends she got all suicidal and self injury mode and spent a few hours in the ER.

So last Sunday I was going to cook out, she was here and I mentioned I had a date next week and boom! right back into the I-don't-want-to-live mode. She demanded I take her home immediately so I did.

45 minutes later we were chatting online and I mentioned maybe she should come back and eat and much to my surprise, she agreed. But it wasn't her. The person in charge said "I'm the one that takes care of her" and gave a different name. Later chatting online she denied even coming to back to my house for the cookout.

On Monday I was chatting with the primary and she said she had gone totally numb and needed someone there, so I went. I explained to her about the cookout and that she really had been here and then the alter took over again. The alter gave me her razor blades and told me she had the situation under control. I went to visit her parents and while I was there they got a text message from her saying she was on the way to the hospital.

I called her and the alter answered and said she needed me to come to the hospital to explain to the doctor about the DID. They kept her at the ER for hours and when they finally got a bed at the psych ward she didn't want to go but they had gotten a court order and she had no choice.

I called the treatment facility and explained the whole situation but after she demonstrated stability they let her go.

So now the primary is back in control and absolutely refuses to admit the possibility of DID, in spite of the lost time during the cookout and at the ER. (When she woke up on Tuesday in the psych ward she had no clue how she got there)

I don't know what to do. I was thinking maybe try to get the alter back out and take video as evidence for the primary.

deleted_user 05/10/2011

My adivce is this: Talk to her folks and let them know as they deserve to know. If the primary will not listen to her friend or the shrink then maybe they will listen to the parents. IThis is going to be stressful and tough and one hard climb but in its zenith your friend will be able to accept her life the way it is and they will see a whole new world to explore.

deleted_user 05/12/2011

If she's 32, I don't know if telling her parents is the best idea... They may be involved in the trauma that created the DID. I like your idea better (videotaping) as long as it's done in a compassionate manner, not as a parlor trick. I don't know if you can "try to get the alter back out," or if you just have to wait for it to happen, but just being a caring friend is probably the best thing in the world for her right now.

If she will at least try to look a bit at her reactions to certain stresses, maybe you can get her interested in Daily Strength. Here she can explore anonymously and at her own pace. That helped me a ton when I had just started questioning my reactions.

I wish you luck and send you hugs,
Wistala

deleted_user 05/14/2011

Just a little about myself before I offer any advice-- I do not have DID. I am a therapist and have worked in the mental health field for a few years now. I have significant experience in treating individuals with DID, among other disassociative disorders. So, that said, my advice-- at least 2 of the perosonalities have a connection with you. This is good. Continue to develop that trust as a friend-- someone who cares about her. Trust is essential in getting her to seek treatment. Be careful with the alter who wants a more-than-friends relationship. Dont distance yourself, but be careful about physical contact and refer to her as your friend. Be very sensitive to her wants/ needs. Obviously, she is unstable and the rejection form you sets her over the endge. Avoid the just friends conversation. The psych ward is not going to be of much assistance in helping your friend. It is extremely helpful in keeping her safe. That is its purpose-- to keep individuals from harming themselves and others. Once she is no longer considered a threat, she will be released. Unfortunately, this is tricky with those diagnosed with DID. They can become stable with a simple switch of alters and just as quickly unstable. Seek assistance from the alter who wants help. Talk to that alter and ask her if there are others who want help. There will be alters who do not want the body harmed. They will want to live. Seek them out. Develop that bond with them. Suggest they work together to stay alive. Then suggest therapy. Only a therapist can truly benefit your friend. She needs consistant, on going treatment. This whole process of gaining trust and getting ehr into therapy will not happen over night. It could take months. It takes a lot of patience and a lot of time spent with the individual. The most important thing is keeping your friend safe from killing herself. Talk with the alter who wants to harm herself and tell her how it makes you feel when she hurts herself. Talk to her about how her death would affect you, her friends, her family. Talk to her about the hopes, dreams, and goals that she has for herself. then ask her to develop a contract with you. Such as she will not harm herself without calling and talking to you first or without calling and talking to someone. the national suicide prevention lifeline-- 1-800-273-TALK. Whateve works for the both of you. Continually reinforce the trust that you have in her that she will hold up her end of the deal. Put it in writing and both of you sign it and take copies. Ask her to keep it with her as a reminder of the promise.

So, that is my advice. I hope that it helps. A video will not do much to help in getting her treatment. It could be proof to her that she has DID. Be careful with this. The shock of the video could push her over the edge. trust ur instinct with this. Goodluck.

stephanietram 05/14/2011

I know when I was first finding out about DID in myself I did ok with it in theory, but when actual unavoidable evidence came up it would traumatize me for days. Still, when I think things are going in a certain way and something proves it isn't, it really shakes me up pretty bad.

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