((((HUGS))))
...I *may* actually have such an alter, but so far I have not been informed.
...I know that I have trouble meditating without just getting an upsurge of intense grief. Not sure who from.

hey, I have a little one that stays sad a lot... she was abused and is scared of people, places, and things... so there are a lot of triggers for her to be scared... not a lot of support for her... my other alters are kind of selfish at times and do not notice my lil one being sad and scared... and at other times my lil one will demand attention from us... and her feelings are reflected on others feelings... and now we, for the most part, became agoraphobic because of this sadness... or at least we think so... we have tried to become more attuned to her and her feelings and do reality checks on what is a real reason to be sad or scared... that has helped us quite a bit... hope that you all find some peace in the fears... hugzzzz :)

I would trade more sadness for less fear

Sending you (((big hugs)))

((Hug))Often people do that because there is somthething deeper that needs to be resolved. Sometimes people do that because they have felt a certain way for so long that they are addicted to there emotions. Could be one or both of those. Yes we have this problem.

Thank you for your comments (and the hugs!). I think it is a result of a deeper sadness that cannot yet be expressed. When I go through something difficult and people want to help I often tell them I'm okay and just gloss over with an optimistic spin it but those feelings have to be somewhere with someone inside.

I am sad to hear people feeling so much fear and how much fear limits us and makes our lives smaller than they should be. Pisses me off to be honest. I often imagine "what if" we'd grown up differently. Wasted time, I know.

In addition to my book called "Father Hunger", I'm also reading a book called "Fear and other uninvited guests"... to help me better understand my issues and give me material to talk with therapist about....

Thanks for the good suggestions. I still just feel a little deflated. I get a little irritated with myself that I require so much "work" and then I realize that to become multiple you have to have gone through some incredibly awful things. So no wonder I still need time to heal and just look inward.

I can totally relate to the feeling irritated with yourself that you need so much work. I feel like that all the time. And then I get scared that those I try to be friends with will see this too eventually and choose to no longer be friends with me.

I'd never thought of whether or not I secretly hoped things would go wrong, but thinking about it now, I seem to like having something like that to complain about, or harbor self-pity about, so maybe I do do that unconsciously.

I also agree with the comment about since we are so accustomed to feeling sad that we may also just do it out of habit. I think our early experiences have wired our neurons to automatically fire together that way, and now, it takes us conscious effort (and a lot of it) to rewire those neurons.

I personally have gotten a lot out of an audio cd I have titled "Meditations to Change Your Brain." It's not a quick fix, but it does make me feel better every single time I listen to it.

((hugs!))

Thanks Debi. I'm trying to work out why I DON'T do the things I know will make it a great day. I know if I start the day off with meditating, fit in some stretching and yoga, etc. I KNOW I will feel better. But often I get up and it's like, "blah..." and I don't do it. Most days I do, but sometimes I just feel like - I REALLY just want to BE today! Maybe that's just being human.

Someone once said that the best day is one where everything is perfect yet you have one little nit to complain about.