Multiple Personalities Support Group
Dissociative identity disorder is a diagnosis described as the existence in an individual of two or more distinct identities or personalities, each with its own pattern of perceiving and interacting with the environment. At least two of these personalities are considered to routinely take control of the individual's behavior, and there is also some associated memory loss,...
hello moonface21
as far as im aware, weve never met in the real world, not once. And also as far as im aware, weve never interacted here on DS, not once. Yet three times now youve posted about me here in the Multiple Personality forum. Youve called me perpetrator, youve called me paedophile, youve called me predator. I assumed that there was something about me that reminded you of one of your abusers and if this was the case there was little i could do about it. I also believe that this forum is primarily for people such as yourself who have DID, i am just guest here and because of this i decided i wouldnt respond to your personal attacks, i would just wear it.
but somethings happened to change the way i feel about this. I was chatting with a friend who is a member of this forum, chatting to a little id not spoken with before. And this little one asked me if i was bad? I thought to myself stranger danger, this i fair enough. And i answered that no, cos if i was their protector parts wouldnt let them speak with me, would they? And thought that was the end of it. But then in quick succession i was then asked who was moonface talking about. Asked if there was a group for paedophiles, asked why you dont like me, and asked about the person (you claim is me) saying they were there to not have sex with children. And i thought to myself ...
Fuck.This.For.A.Joke ! I really cant ignore you after all, can i?
... see, its like this. Ive chatted with a number of that persons others, not sure how many but perhaps as many as ten? And ive enjoyed chatting with them all. And if your nastiness continues in this one instance it could cost me a number of friendships. ( And now it would appear that mamoth perhaps joins you in posting innuendo about me? Is this so mammoth? Would you care to come out of the shadows about the innuendo you choose to post?) So moonface, ive decided to respond publicly to your postings.
11/28/12
You ask why a man who is not multiple would be a member of this forum? Simple answer i have 2 women friends, friends that are important to my life. One i suspect is multiple, the other i believe is multiple. With the first friend i knew nothing of DID and one day, out of frustration and hurt and anger at her seeming lies and inconsistencies, i savaged her and trashed our friendship. Lost it for 2 years. I have it back now but its a shadow of our former friendship. With the second friend, even knowing about DID i sometimes forget this and respond poorly to things happening. Im here to learn how to be a better friend.
You also ask why would a 60 year old man just choose to converse with young women? Firstly, im 61 and you and i are of an age. I can no more be held responsible for the date of my conception that you can be held responsible for yours. As for the young women. Im not responsible for their ages either. If you check my list of friends (freely accessible) youll see their ages range from mid teens up to mid fifties, with perhaps half over 30. If you check my postings youll notice that though im a member of several groups im most active on the Multiple Personality group and the Self Injury group. And its from these 2 groups most of the women i chat with come from. I think it a fairly safe generalisation that the ages of women on the MP group would vary and include more mature women than the SI group whose members tend to be more in their teens and perhaps early 20s. I do not choose their ages. If these young women wish to chat with me - should i tell them No! Shall i tell them that without knowing anything of our conversations Moonface has decided that they are inappropriate and we mustnt talk? Perhaps i should refer them to you for permission to continue our online chats? A peculiar arrogance you have moonface, that without knowing anything about my interactions with these people you condemn me? And as to why i choose to talk with them? Its simply this - irrespective of their ages, i enjoy their company.
13/12/12
you claim i am also using another DS identity that of a 30 year old male paedophile and that i have sexually abused many young girls in my past? I am not this person and have no knowledge of him what so ever. If you truly believe im him post here anything at all linking me to him, so everyone can see the truth of your allegations. I understand that such things can be hard to prove, but do you really think youre entitled to say such awful things about me (about anyone) without offering some sort of backing evidence? To offer nothing but innuendo and vile allegation stinks of malice.
(can you tell yet moonface, that i am seriously pissed?)
if your concerns in this are genuine, perhaps you should communicate them to DS Admin? I dont know how theyll respond, but they should be able to check IP(?) addresses to see if the computers are the same for me and this other man. And they can even probably tell if we are in the same or different countries. Perhaps you should do this and post results here? Or are you content within your prejudices with no desire to reality test?
as for your allegation that i claim t be studying ob/gyn as a ruse to lure young girls into sharing inappropriate confidences in all years on DS there has 0nly ever been two mentions of studying ob/gyn. The first was made by Snuffleupagus as a joke in a hug to me recently. The second and last mention was my response to her continuing that joke. For you to take this out of context, insert it into unsubstantiated allegations about me being paedophile and post them publicly is a massive dishonesty on your part.
and i have never been admin on any group here on DS. Another dishonesty on your part to imply this. Perhaps when (if you ever) check with admin to see if i use multiple identities here you could also ask what groups if any i am admin for? And please post here any response you get back? So people can see the truth or not of your innuendo and allegations?
now heres the thing moonface (and this applies for you too mamoth, if you wish to buy into this and also post unsubstantiated innuendo about others?) ive have over 340 posts here on DS going back to the day i joined. I invite you both to go through them. Every fucking one of them. And the offer is open to any other member of this group. And if you find any you believe to be sexually inappropriate, any that support these allegations in any way then repost them here. But without the dishonesty you used when you took the ob/gyn references out of context and inserted them to link two disparate dubious allegations. Post them in their entireties and provide links to the discussions i posted them in originally. So members can view them in context. If any member (other than you two) finds a single one to support your allegations and gives plausible reasons, and if any other member (other than you two) agrees with that member then ill leave this group and have nothing more to do with it or any of its members. I wont argue or appeal. Ill simply leave no fuss. Now that should be an offer that appeals to you two? But you do it out here in the open, where both you and your efforts can be judged for your personal integrities.
and if any member of this group feels im treating with moonface unfairly, or too harshly let me tell you of something someone once told me. This person (a friend of a friend) was in a wheelchair and we were discussing disabilities. The person said to me just because someone is in a wheelchair doesnt mean they arent a nasty prick. Just because someone has DID it doesnt mean they dont acting out of malice, that they arent being dishonest. Can anyone tell me with 100% surety that moonface is not both? And again, it any two of you (other than moonface and mamoth feel my response here disruptive ill leave the group. I dont lose sight of what i said at the beginning this group is primarily for people with DID, i am more guest here than family. Its saddened me that this past year it seems the group has been riven with personal conflicts and has become fragmented. I dont really wish to add to this
a final address to you moonface. I wish bad things hadnt happened t you when little. No one should have to experience the sorts of things you and others here have. But irrespective of that, im not responsible for making your life a shit sandwich, and its unreasonable of you to expect me to choke on it with you
as far as im aware, weve never met in the real world, not once. And also as far as im aware, weve never interacted here on DS, not once. Yet three times now youve posted about me here in the Multiple Personality forum. Youve called me perpetrator, youve called me paedophile, youve called me predator. I assumed that there was something about me that reminded you of one of your abusers and if this was the case there was little i could do about it. I also believe that this forum is primarily for people such as yourself who have DID, i am just guest here and because of this i decided i wouldnt respond to your personal attacks, i would just wear it.
but somethings happened to change the way i feel about this. I was chatting with a friend who is a member of this forum, chatting to a little id not spoken with before. And this little one asked me if i was bad? I thought to myself stranger danger, this i fair enough. And i answered that no, cos if i was their protector parts wouldnt let them speak with me, would they? And thought that was the end of it. But then in quick succession i was then asked who was moonface talking about. Asked if there was a group for paedophiles, asked why you dont like me, and asked about the person (you claim is me) saying they were there to not have sex with children. And i thought to myself ...
Fuck.This.For.A.Joke ! I really cant ignore you after all, can i?
... see, its like this. Ive chatted with a number of that persons others, not sure how many but perhaps as many as ten? And ive enjoyed chatting with them all. And if your nastiness continues in this one instance it could cost me a number of friendships. ( And now it would appear that mamoth perhaps joins you in posting innuendo about me? Is this so mammoth? Would you care to come out of the shadows about the innuendo you choose to post?) So moonface, ive decided to respond publicly to your postings.
11/28/12
You ask why a man who is not multiple would be a member of this forum? Simple answer i have 2 women friends, friends that are important to my life. One i suspect is multiple, the other i believe is multiple. With the first friend i knew nothing of DID and one day, out of frustration and hurt and anger at her seeming lies and inconsistencies, i savaged her and trashed our friendship. Lost it for 2 years. I have it back now but its a shadow of our former friendship. With the second friend, even knowing about DID i sometimes forget this and respond poorly to things happening. Im here to learn how to be a better friend.
You also ask why would a 60 year old man just choose to converse with young women? Firstly, im 61 and you and i are of an age. I can no more be held responsible for the date of my conception that you can be held responsible for yours. As for the young women. Im not responsible for their ages either. If you check my list of friends (freely accessible) youll see their ages range from mid teens up to mid fifties, with perhaps half over 30. If you check my postings youll notice that though im a member of several groups im most active on the Multiple Personality group and the Self Injury group. And its from these 2 groups most of the women i chat with come from. I think it a fairly safe generalisation that the ages of women on the MP group would vary and include more mature women than the SI group whose members tend to be more in their teens and perhaps early 20s. I do not choose their ages. If these young women wish to chat with me - should i tell them No! Shall i tell them that without knowing anything of our conversations Moonface has decided that they are inappropriate and we mustnt talk? Perhaps i should refer them to you for permission to continue our online chats? A peculiar arrogance you have moonface, that without knowing anything about my interactions with these people you condemn me? And as to why i choose to talk with them? Its simply this - irrespective of their ages, i enjoy their company.
13/12/12
you claim i am also using another DS identity that of a 30 year old male paedophile and that i have sexually abused many young girls in my past? I am not this person and have no knowledge of him what so ever. If you truly believe im him post here anything at all linking me to him, so everyone can see the truth of your allegations. I understand that such things can be hard to prove, but do you really think youre entitled to say such awful things about me (about anyone) without offering some sort of backing evidence? To offer nothing but innuendo and vile allegation stinks of malice.
(can you tell yet moonface, that i am seriously pissed?)
if your concerns in this are genuine, perhaps you should communicate them to DS Admin? I dont know how theyll respond, but they should be able to check IP(?) addresses to see if the computers are the same for me and this other man. And they can even probably tell if we are in the same or different countries. Perhaps you should do this and post results here? Or are you content within your prejudices with no desire to reality test?
as for your allegation that i claim t be studying ob/gyn as a ruse to lure young girls into sharing inappropriate confidences in all years on DS there has 0nly ever been two mentions of studying ob/gyn. The first was made by Snuffleupagus as a joke in a hug to me recently. The second and last mention was my response to her continuing that joke. For you to take this out of context, insert it into unsubstantiated allegations about me being paedophile and post them publicly is a massive dishonesty on your part.
and i have never been admin on any group here on DS. Another dishonesty on your part to imply this. Perhaps when (if you ever) check with admin to see if i use multiple identities here you could also ask what groups if any i am admin for? And please post here any response you get back? So people can see the truth or not of your innuendo and allegations?
now heres the thing moonface (and this applies for you too mamoth, if you wish to buy into this and also post unsubstantiated innuendo about others?) ive have over 340 posts here on DS going back to the day i joined. I invite you both to go through them. Every fucking one of them. And the offer is open to any other member of this group. And if you find any you believe to be sexually inappropriate, any that support these allegations in any way then repost them here. But without the dishonesty you used when you took the ob/gyn references out of context and inserted them to link two disparate dubious allegations. Post them in their entireties and provide links to the discussions i posted them in originally. So members can view them in context. If any member (other than you two) finds a single one to support your allegations and gives plausible reasons, and if any other member (other than you two) agrees with that member then ill leave this group and have nothing more to do with it or any of its members. I wont argue or appeal. Ill simply leave no fuss. Now that should be an offer that appeals to you two? But you do it out here in the open, where both you and your efforts can be judged for your personal integrities.
and if any member of this group feels im treating with moonface unfairly, or too harshly let me tell you of something someone once told me. This person (a friend of a friend) was in a wheelchair and we were discussing disabilities. The person said to me just because someone is in a wheelchair doesnt mean they arent a nasty prick. Just because someone has DID it doesnt mean they dont acting out of malice, that they arent being dishonest. Can anyone tell me with 100% surety that moonface is not both? And again, it any two of you (other than moonface and mamoth feel my response here disruptive ill leave the group. I dont lose sight of what i said at the beginning this group is primarily for people with DID, i am more guest here than family. Its saddened me that this past year it seems the group has been riven with personal conflicts and has become fragmented. I dont really wish to add to this
a final address to you moonface. I wish bad things hadnt happened t you when little. No one should have to experience the sorts of things you and others here have. But irrespective of that, im not responsible for making your life a shit sandwich, and its unreasonable of you to expect me to choke on it with you
I can say in ALL the time I have known you not once has K2 ever been inappropriate with me or my household. He has been a kind friend. We stand with you against the allegations and wonder when the slandering on DS will end. To being it to the board is gutsy, which had been done to you PUBLICLY and I'm so sorry. Your nothing but respectful and kind to us and we commend you for wanting to help your friends and caring, which is more than any of our RL friends will ever do. Moreover, your True to who you are, never changing because you ARE who you say you are, unlike other people who intend harm.
I hope these people will answer you and you can resolve this in a peaceful manner K2. Best to you.
Cheers,
~K and Destany's House
It is also understandable how a person who had DID and has been sexually abused or raped as a child have that part come out when triggered. It can even be a false perception because the abuser is/was or could have been a trusted person in his or her past. It may not even be personal although a person is named publically.
When things spoken in private, become public in the group, it promotes negativity and distrust. Reputation, honesty, and trust is key. Having said this, I do believe there are good and bad people on DS. Yes, there may predators and those with bad intentions lurking around to prey on people and take advantage of others. After reading K2's posts, I do not see him as anything but supportive and helpful with a genuine sense of caring for people.
Sex is part of human nature and it does naturally come up in conversations between people. The difference is DID creates personalities to deal with certain sexual situations. Those of us who are friends of people must learn how to recognize and perceive who we are talking with at the time in order to carefully respond in a healthy manner. Because we are all flawed as human beings, sometimes everything we say can be wrong. Attitudes clash at times and depending on our emotional status while talking, we may be on different pages. We must made a mental adjustment and carefully word what we say to other people or agree to speak to each other at another time and not let a situation escalate beyond control.
Moonface, or mamoth, you have the right to feel the way you do and should not have to apologize unless another part of you feels you should or may or may not have misjudged K2. Still, you probaby should have taken up the problem up with Daily Strength and let them mediate any issues. Accusations against other people in public is not wise and triggers other group members although I understand how emotions cause us to do unrational things at times and we say things we later regret.
I told my friend DS should never become like Facebook. People are here for many health related reasons and regardless of what information is given, we are all strangers. I was going to join this group sooner but this post made me think twice before finally doing so today. I can even understand (Moonface) if you don't want to try and patch things up between one of your personalities and K2. He should defend his reputation if he feels comments against him are wrong. Even so, other parts of you may see K2 in a whole different light and respect him.
People, those with or without DID. deserve as much support as possible. We all make mistakes and the last thing anybody wants or needs is being judged by another person or people. I view support as a positive experience even to a negative post or event. Just remember we should all strive to do the best we can, and in the end, all we have is each other. Understanding and forgiving is a wonderful thing. DID is an ongoing learning process.
This is my first post here and I'll surely give my opinion if I feel it will be helpful to someone. I completely understand how trauma can affect a person's life and if we can make one person's life a little better with just with a few words, then there is hope. Life is hard. We just take it one day at a time and hope for the best with a little help from our friends.
Sun
Sun's words carry wisdom because of the many principles noted. I would add, however, that false accusations can in and of themselves be much more than merely a source of "anger and frustrations"... They are very hurtful and damaging to some who were told they were "bad" throughout childhood. They can a trigger trauma.
It is especially important for a group such as this to constantly keep in mind what is best for the newcomer and post accordingly, keeping this a safe and welcoming place.
" principles before personalities"
Collectively, the group has a conscious and can weigh in on how to handle true toxicity.
This group had helped me tremendously and wish it to remain vibrant and healthy.
We agree with john12as it can lead to more than anger and hurt, but trigger re-trauma, which we have to mindful of. We've been privy to it and there are still posts up to this day DS did not take care of that are slanderous from others on DS I've just had to suck up Sun, so not always can this matter be taken care of by DS either sadly at times. I'm not trying to argue just letting you know that not always is it that simple. WHY? There is NO CL here and people get away with things for WAY TOO LONG when they do it!
Thanks,
~K and Destany;s House
I have suffered with depression for a number of reasons over my lifetime but have learned to pretty much keep it in check. I am here to support my friend and learn more about how to better myself as a person at the same time. Along the way, if I actually have anything I feel that will be helpful and positive to support the group I will chime in and add my voice.
Everybody has to suck it up from time to time and there are people who are here for many different reasons and I imagine bullying is one of those reasons. Some people are passive and some are aggressive. There are different ways to approach the subject by trying to be calm and use common sense even when people push our buttons or we can vent. Venting does relieve pressure at times though and getting it out of our system can be life a valve on a pressure cooker and let off a little steam.
DS is not perfect but it is a start in the right direction. It is easier for some people to open up more in an anonymous setting rather than a live and in person group therapy session. Most people put up walls for protection.
Here, we have a choice. We can open up and share more of ourselves with other people or create a persona how we want to project to others. People are complex and it takes a long time to build up a trust and relationship that will have setbacks, endure the highs and lows, and becomes stronger after all of the tests and trials.
So in short, I am just a person with issues and problems like everybody else with a good friend with DID. I look at my own personality as differing states of emotion as a whole but understand how a person could fragment due to extreme trauma.
Thanks for asking and if you would like to know anything else about me, feel free to ask.
I also think it is inappropriate to automatically assume that accusations are false in this group. We have all been disbelieved by people when we came to them for help during or after our abuse. Being disbelieved is so damaging. We have to be careful to not make this assumption.
I admit that when an older man has relationships of any kind with a much younger woman, I feel that this is inappropriate. That doesn't mean that anything nefarious is going on, it just means I think it is inappropriate.
Of course, this creates an impossible K2 and those like him. How is he to respond? This impossible situation is why I am choosing to act according to the way he has treated me in the past, which has been with kindness and compassion.
Before this case, I went another time to the admin about another guy G***W****,who is sexually abusive on the chat line.As usual, these people are very clever;That one pretended he was gay so that young girls he started to "talk" to would not be on their guards.I noticed that same guy got a lot of infuriated comments after claiming that women get raped because of the way they dress but he is still on DS, moving from board to board.
What I would like people to understand is that most activity is not done on the actual board where everything is exposed but behind the scene, through the way of private messages, chat line etc...
Some members are very shrewd smart and articulate.They know on which boards to find young, vulnerable victims, ie Self injury, DID and Incest survivors.
For this kind of people, there can be no compassion;or rather compassion is to have the courage to point them out and make them stop.
Yes, I have survived to a tragedy, and this is why I have become very aware of perpetrators's ways and can now detect them.Thanks to therapy,I have come out of dissociation and have been able to associate my fragmented parts .I do not act from one of those alleged personalities who would be obssessed with perpetrators, as hinted.
I place principles before personalities, as I have been doing in all the 12 steps groups I've been part of for 40 years, from opening the first survivors goup at the American Church of Paris with 2 American friends.
This is why I came forward.
Yes, this discussion will trigger us all, all of us who were betrayed and lied to, all of us who were bullied.all of us who fell in the hands of very sick people.Truth hurts.
It is probably my last comment on this board.
at last a response from one of you?
One of the earlier responses to my post was persistently both rational and reasonable, and suggested there was no need for an apology from you. But that person doesnt know me. I am neither rational nor reasonable. Still seriously pissed is what i am. And not even remotely interested in an apology from either of you that i cant judge the sincerity of. No, what id like from you moonface (and mamoth?) is simply for you to own your behaviours.
Cos heres how in feel about it. Such character assassination campaigns as youve waged are very difficult for the victims to defend themselves from. Moonface, you were very careful to never name me, while at the same time making sure other board members would easily be able to identify me. An effective tactic cos often if victims of such behaviours indentify themselves if they arent very careful they can end up looking guilty. Whether they are or they arent. Though i do wonder if by not specifically identifying me do you feel you can somehow distance yourself from your allegations and accusations? And when mamoth posted publicly in support of you the way she did she let everyone know that youd also been spreading these accusations behind my back, behind everyones back? Not out in the open where such allegations could be examined for accuracy and truth.
That such campaigns are both effective and damaging to those targeted cant be denied. About a year ago a member of this support group was a victim of a similar campaign. A campaign that like this one seemed to arise in both the incest support group and the multiple personalities group? It did damage to this group causing it to become fragmented and it also damaged the victim badly. Badly enough that they still havent fully recovered a year later. And i dont need to point out to anyone here that when you hurt a person with DID you hurt many people all at once. You also hurt any of that persons alters that are vulnerable.
There is something else that needs to be considered here. Im old enough to have seen a number of these furtive campaigns over the years. And one thing ive noticed is that if successful, the people waging them often repeat such things. Moving on to other victims. My belief is that such activities need to be dealt with both openly and fully if such subsequent campaigns are to be avoided. I realise that no one likes such unpleasantnesses as this to continue. And i regret that the Multiple Personalities group is having this inflicted upon it. I regret even more that individual members and their alters are finding themselves made anxious and vulnerable by this thread. But my experience is that if this isnt resolved completely at this time, it may well simply slip off the radar and persist in the shadows it came out of. And the members will be forced to deal with it yet again at some future date
So moonface (and mamoth) why not post here your reasons for naming me perpetrator, paedophile and predator. Specific reasons backed up with examples not just words that relate to nothing, or self justify like your response so far moonface? (Though it seems that we both agree much destructive behaviour occurs behind the scenes. And we also both agree that such behaviour needs be brought to public scrutiny in order to have it stop). So please, post specific reasons here for your behaviour concerning me and do not simply try to link me yet again to the behaviours of even more people i know nothing of. Ill read but not comment, not once. I know there is complexity and nuance to having DID ill never understand or even know of. Ive come to appreciate you can all be triggered by things i wont even notice. So ill try my hardest not to judge. But other members here who are multiple will be able to perhaps decide if you act out of genuine concern or out of malice? Judgement of your peers, of a sort. And a 3rd commitment i wont even ask them what they believe about what you post.
In short, moonface (and mamoth?), forget self justifications - rather own your behaviours, show the group you acted out of integrity and not malice? And help the group can put this behind it?
irrespective of what happens now, im turning my back to this episode (providing it doesnt persist)
kevin
~K and Destany;s House