Multiple Personalities Support Group
Dissociative identity disorder is a diagnosis described as the existence in an individual of two or more distinct identities or personalities, each with its own pattern of perceiving and interacting with the environment. At least two of these personalities are considered to routinely take control of the individual's behavior, and there is also some associated memory loss,...
I'm really down right now I just went out into the forest and tried to decide if I wanted to end it myself or wait a little while longer unfortunately my wife saw me heading across the yard with my handgun and tried to follow me however I am an experienced woodsman and just disappeared into the forest before she could find me. After a while she got together with others who all came out yelling for me I let them walk on past but got pissed off that they would not leave me alone I yelled at them to leave they however demanded my weapon to leave I of course refused, there are large predators in our forest and I never go unarmed that would be foolish. I just ended up leaving the woods and now I'm here upstairs writing this shit. I'm just tired of living this way. I have nobody to talk to about this shit because nobody understands or believes it, the couple friends I tried to tell are no longer friends so I just don't know what to do other than fucking check out on my own. Everytime I get close to ending it the watcher, one of my Alters jumps and stops anything from happening.... I'm very frustrated....
I know what you're saying.
I known it can feel invasive and claustrophobic when people come trying to find you in those situations.
I am hoping you are still around and safe.
I think your friends and wife came looking for you because they love you, so you make an impact on the world.
Please hang in there.
Talk to people here, who likely WILL understand.
Try to remember to breathe deeply when you feel like that, cool your face off, I don't know...it FEELS like we can't take it anymore, but we multiples are slightly magical...don't give in
I'm sorry it's such a struggle for you at the moment. I have no advice to offer because life is my default, i don't know what it's like to have to make the effort to choose life, often on a daily basis like many do. I know I can't understand how you might feel. It's one of the reasons I have so much respect for all of you here. You've struggled to survive and done so in circumstances I'm not sure I would. KittyTwist is right, people here will listen and will understand your struggle. And they will do their best to support you.