I found a book on Amazon that has a lot of exercises in it for multiples to help the system function better together. It might help and I think it's a Kindle so you can download it and start right away:
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_2?url=search-alias%3Ddigital-text&field-keywords=who%20parked%20the%20car

The parts within you need to be heard and loved and the more they come out and sence rejection the more pain you will feel and the more problems you will have as a result. Try giving them a time of day when it OK for them to come out like when your at home by yourself or with someone who understands. Give them things to do to so they still feel needed. And give them ways to be heard and express themselves...artwork, journaling, music etc...

hiya
i was wondering how you were going with this? I hesitated to respond cos i'm not multiple, though i have been a member of this group for a few years now. What i've noticed in this time is that members that seem to often have that sort of control you ask about are the members that appear to be co-conscious amongst themselves? It gets mentioned in this thread by mannequin (he calls it co-present and co-operating, i'm assuming that's the same as co-conscious?) .....
http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Multiple_Personalities/forum/20466429-omg

plus, i think mamoth is giving you some seriously good advice as to how help this come about? It's something i've long wondered about, that all of a multiple's parts need acknowledgement and validating, and to be given space in the joint life you share? Co-operation between parts might come easier when this happens i'm guessing?

if you get a chance, please check back in and let us all know how you're going?

kevin

Have you tried visual imagery of your alters in a home of your choice? I do that in my meditation, and communicate with them every day that I can. I have a dedicated time in a nice space for them. They have their own rooms to choose from, and I've heard from others with D.I.D. that they set up a speaker system so the alters can listen in on their host's conversations and feel a part of life, without taking over. I meditated for years, created homes/land/peaceful settings for them, toys, cars, games, vacations, so many things for them to choose from so that I could have just peace in my head. I did this instinctually, and eventually the visual imagery that I did while listening to self validating music really helped.

For me, talking to validate them individually, journaling their life individually, and meditating to validate them and their personalities has helped me get control the most. Now I never switch and I co-front a lot. But it's so much easier. I agree with Reed31 about looking up or reading about exercises for multiples.

I would recommend, if you do meditation and imagery, to build an island or land for your alters, with houses for each of them, with the technology they need to communicate with each other, the technology they need to listen to you, an airport, mall, shops, theatre, art, museums, whatever on the island or land that they like to do, and give them the life they want in your head, with jobs, and adult/kid toys, movies, books, tv shows, nature, just the whole kit and kaboodle. i think exploring with imagery and world/home creation for them in your head couldn't hurt. it's also very relaxing and very good memory and brain exercises for you to get things organized. it's just great relaxing and exercising brain work. People create things in their heads all the time and then create them in real life to sell them. So why not us? I have fun with mine, it's super fun to make new homes, build stuff, give them things, jobs, different cities, different countries, food, hobbies, friends, etc. My alters love it. And we have fun together sometimes. It helps keep the peace, at least.

I hope any of this can help you. I know how hard it is to struggle with maintaining control. I don't think you're lazy. Do you know how many alters or subalters you have?

We have a lot of solid rules that we must all abide by. We have many written in journals or on calendars.
. Always answer to the name Stephanie
. Use singular pronouns rather than plurals except in pre-approved settings.
. Do no harm to the body
. Keep appointments
. Keep the calendar up to date with events which need remembering.
. Behave calmly and politely to everyone inside and outside of the head.
. Do nothing to jeopardize the family arrangement or social standing.

There are others, but maybe this will give you some ideas for a list of your own.

i have found that abram maslow hierarchy of needs ie support at least one friend or spouse or sibling even not just therapeutic help is vital in the healing process i believe in cooperative therapy i have healed mostly through Dr bill Tollefsons work , although i have had very little support ie late diagnosis etc for me it is complex ptsd from trauma but i can see how the more layers of unresolved trauma the more separation,, i go to a support group for ptsd and can relate to all the shares some sense of safety and support must be there to heal, i know we lose alot of folks who just are not fortunate to have those supports ,, good going stephanie good work