Multiple Personalities Support Group

Dissociative identity disorder is a diagnosis described as the existence in an individual of two or more distinct identities or personalities, each with its own pattern of perceiving and interacting with the environment. At least two of these personalities are considered to routinely take control of the individual's behavior, and there is also some associated memory loss,...

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Hypervigilance and detecting predators

Wheezie
Wheezie
If you do not think that sexual offenders can sense that a person is vulnerable I want to share a few experiences with you. Looking back on my past with hindsite and the knowledge I have aquired about the psychology of abuse victims and abusers I now see that predators can sense when they have a potential victim around them.Just like we read the cues of everyone around us and switch they read cues to find their victims.

One of my more memorable experiences was when I was working my vending route.My husband and I had just placed a snack machine at a local juvenile detension center.They have inmates from a local prison that go and work at this detention center.As I was stocking up this machine these inmates were gathering around asking questions. At one point I was completely surrounded by them.At that exact moment my husband walked in the door and they all scattered like roaches.Looking back on it my husband and I said I was lucky because they easily could have grabbed me and forced me into a nearby bathroom and hurt me.

Another experience was when we were working our vending route again.We have a coke and snack machine at one of our local National Guard. As my husband and I stocked up these two machines off in another room was another inmate that the National Guard was using to clean up and cut grass. This inmate stood there in a trance staring at me and my daughter the entire time we were stocking up our machines.Completely creepy and weird.

Recently I was cutting my grass and my neighbor a kind old man was talking to one of his friends.I think this friend of his lives across the street.The whole time this man and my neighbor talked he trailed me cutting my grass.It was actually rude because he wasn't even facing my neighbor as they spoke.He was in a trance watching me.I got so tired of his learing that I stopped cutting my grass for a while and walked inside and told my husband.

I now know what to look for when I am out in public. I am profoundly happy that I have my hypervigilance to aid in detecting these predators. Use those tools given you to keep yourselves safe my friends.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I agree, to a point. Sometimes my hypervigilence doesn't serve me, though. It's a double-edged sword because friends and even Gary have fallen prey to my attunement, leading to me shutting them off automatically.

I suppose it's just a matter of time and patience when we're able to use discernment as well as hypervigilence.

I've always said - before I knew I had this issue - that I have a child molester radar. I didn't know, at the time, how accurate that description was.
Wheezie
Wheezie
Yes Paige to hone this skill is a must. When my alters first truly started to emerge they were hypersensitive as well.Any rejection perceived by them was usually followed by a disconnect. Luckily for me my husband was completely embracing of them and had read up extensively on MPD so he knew what to expect and how to treat them. This in turn resulted in many of them emerging rather quickly until I went to file charges on my abusers and we were all revictimized by the system.That resulted in my complete shutdown and struggle to reconnect with them.
deleted_user
deleted_user
OMG Poor Gary - he doesn't know how to handle my shut-downs. My protector comes out at the slightest hint of threat, though luckily I've learned to recognize when this happens. I hate that it happens, but I also appreciate my abilities which have, at times, likely saved my life.
deleted_user
deleted_user
The dysfunction in my life has come because I am so tuned to a further threat to my injuries that my protectors come out before the host is able to more gently handle it. Dangerous strangers are one thing. But as Paige says when I perceive the chance of harm from someone who loves me then hyper vigilance just hurts the collective rather than helps. How to explain later "Well, yeah, I called you a F**er three times, but it was because I was scared." I know if someone kept saying that to me I would not give them more chances. We have friends who love us and know we are injured and jumpy but I haven't healed enough yet to keep it from happening again. It's a problem.
Wheezie
Wheezie
I hear what you are saying GS. Like I said I am lucky that I have a husband that knows the dynamics of MPD.Even with my angry protectors he has been patient. That is why there needs to be more education about this "disorder".So people are better able to understand our actions. This actually made me think of my family and my feelings around my abusers before I knew I have MPD. Every single one of them at that time when I was around them I was trembling inside and didn't know why because I hadn't remembered what they had done. Now looking back on it I do.
loum50
loum50
I definately trust my creep sensor as I call it. My granbaughter's mother had someone baby sitting her. When I saw him I knew right away he was a creep. I had my son find out his name and I looked it up on the registry. He was a violent child molester. When we told her mother she said so what that half the people she knew were on the registry, so we took her to court. They let her retain custody. The creep went back to jail. He has since gotten out of jail and reoffended.
I am very concerned about my grandaughter because I see some signs. She dissociates a lot. I want to get her into therapy, but her mother is resistant. Another ability I seem to have is to sense someone who has been abused.
About protectors, sometimes when one of my protectors gets triggered he takes over and there is nothing I can do but watch, even when he gets triggered by something that I only perceive as an experience from my childhood.
acaseofyou12581
acaseofyou12581
I think I lucked out in that my hypervigilance is really limited to dangerous situations. I tend to do okay with other people, but I do notice when something is... off. I think this is fairly common among trauma survivors. I can also spot another trauma survivor a mile away.

My exaggerated startle response, however, is terrible. And some people don't know that actual terror is attached to it, so they'll do something on purpose to make me jump. I hate that shit. They don't realize, though, that they are actually setting off a chain reaction of terror for me, so I try not to get too upset about it.
Wheezie
Wheezie
That is awesome that you could use your creep sensor to protect your granddaughter Lou. I'm so sorry her mother is an idiot. She definately needs to be removed from her custody. I too can also tell when someone has been abused.
loum50
loum50
My startle response is almost exactly the same.

In Massachusetts it is almost impossible to have a mother's custody given to the father. Also, her mother knows if she lets us get my grandaughter into therapy that the therapist is a mandatory reporter.

After August she will be old enough to testify in court. In MA she has to be 12.
Wheezie
Wheezie
I'm well aware of that startle response.My daughter is the same. For me it even plays a role when we watch scary movies. I'll be sitting there jumping up a storm while my husband is like "dude didn't you see that comin'"? This was before we found out I have MPD. Now he understands.
mamoth
mamoth
I was just thinking about this. I have this nabor that seems to be waching me and he creeps me out so bad. Somthing inside me keeps saying serial killer vibe. God I hope its not that bad. Atleast most the nabors I have write now are pretty good ones though. I love most my nabors. Think I lucked out there.
deleted_user
deleted_user
My hypervigilance is somewhat of a curse, nearly every little thing causes me to absolutely spazz out. The good thing is that I can notice a bad person right off the bat, but often confuse them with the good.
Wheezie
Wheezie
Yes Kitty before I knew I had MPD and read up on the psychology of abusers I was fooled by what is termed as "friendly offenders". These predators perfect their techniques of playing the nice guy and often live most of their lives building a reputation to thwart any allegations brought against them.My whole family is full of "friendly offenders".
mamoth
mamoth
I know that one Weezie. Friendly affender is a perfect way of wording what they are.
deleted_user
deleted_user
My hypervigilance is often at odds with my alt Acceptance, which pretty much negates its usefulness.

Some days I have to stay home from work because I can't bear to have anyone looking at me. Sometimes "all" men I see are offenders, and "all" children are victims, while women can go either way. Logically, I know this isn't the case, but emotionally, I see one of those two roles in every person. On those days it sucks to work in retail.

On the flip side of that coin, Acceptance learned that no one will help when something bad happens, so she simply accepts that it will happen and doesn't resist. She even tries to be nice to the ones that scare us, hoping they'll like us and not hurt us. Looking back, this has gotten us into dangerous situations several times. It stinks because she seems to recognize the bad ones, but her reaction is the opposite of what we ought to do to stay safe, but she comes out so automatically in those situations that I haven't yet been able alter the reaction.

OMG, Kitty... Your avatar is ----- from Dark Crystal! He cracks me up. I can't remember his name, though. Please send me a hug or pm me with his name. It's gonna make me nuts until someone tells me.