Thanks, Kevin! I didn't know there was a place for "littles" to go post. I try not to let them out and to post on their own....I take back control and have trained them to speak through me....that way they don't go around embarrassing me. It's all about learning how to control them and eventually, make them feel safe enough to let out their secrets and then you can heal them.

If you think of "littles" as little kids, then you understand what they need. My youngest grandson is 4 1/2 and I can watch him and know what my 4 yr. old alter needs. He can run around in circles and babble...acting like a crazy 4 yr. old but when he stops, he wants cuddling and love. So my 4 yr. old can come out and act crazy but once tired, wants safety and caring and true love...what I never got at age 4. By giving that to her, she relaxed and I finally got inside her head and knew where things went wrong. I, as an adult, had branded her actions as an attempted suicide when she went into the ocean and wouldn't come out....she wanted to drown. Made her feel like she was bad. But once I got into her head, I learned that she thought she was giving mom what mom really wanted most in life...that she die and go away. She was being the very best she could be...not bad. My misinterpretation was what was hurting her so badly. Once I told her I finally knew just how good and wonderful she was being, she started to sing and skip and has been that way since....healed. Been 2 1/2 yrs. now since that happened.

Maybe if I had let her speak, I could have read and re-read what she said and realized my adult mistake earlier...but then again, probably not. But it can't hurt to try.

Again, thank you Kevin..............Jen

hi Jen
i think it was created so that Littles had a place where they could be themselves without being self conscious about it, and could make friends with other people's Littles. A place just for them and their interests. I thought it a good idea, it's a shame it's become inactive.

Maybe a few of us can get our Littles together and fix that inactivity? I know my 3 yo needs someone to play with sometimes and my nephew is getting too old lol I try to take her to the park but I get too paranoid to be there so I end up leaving. I let her go over to the Little's group on I think Christmas eve but it took a while for someone to respond. The 7 yo is really angry so I can't really let her out on her own or all hell might break loose. The others can come out tho

i drop by the group very occasionally, and if i see someone had posted and not gotten any responses then i respond. I don't like the idea that a Little has posted and feels ignored of they get no response at all. I hope others read this thread and let their Littles participate

It's not safe

no where is ever completely safe Fickle, but you could monitor the group if you let your Littles spend time with others there? It is safer than most places i think?

The Littles board used to be really active and there is a CL who used to monitor the board to keep it safe. I forget his name though. Still, it used to be a good place for younger parts to talk and express themselves...and tell stories and play games.

one of Precious97's littles has posted to the Littles Group. Do any of the members here have a Little that might like to go there to make a new friend?

According to the info on the group site, it was founded by a Community Leader(CL)....WanderingVet and is has another CL....PepperMan as the Administrator. Usually groups are started by DS members and not CL's but if a group is needed and the founder leaves, sometimes a CL will keep it alive and watch for posts. I used to have several groups and when I left for a while, I had all of them closed and deleted.......I had personal info on them that was being used to attack me.

It is listed as a place for "Littles" to come out and play but I want to use a place like that to let a child alter speak with the purpose of just writing(almost like automatic writing) and then I go back and read it. It gives me insight into how the mind of that alter works. Helps me heal them.

If anyone wants me to not use it that way, and leave it as a happy place, please say so and I won't. I can always create another group for that purpose. Might actually be a better way to do it.

hugs.......Jen

Please don't take this personally 51percent, because I would feel this way about anyone saying these things; for instance, "I try not to let them out...", "I take back control", "have them trained to speak through me", "it's all about how to control them", "...make them feel safe enough", "then you can heal them", "get into her head". To me, they ALL sound like well-meaning but very stifling ways to treat someone - anyone.

You can read from any good reputable resource what stage of development a four year old or any other age child or even adult for that matter is at and what is expected to be accomplished at each stage; but after that, everyone is each their own individual. Even the published stages of development are a generality and not everyone is bound to what they accomplish when, if they do. Point being, there really isn't a very good way to tell what one four year old needs based on what another one appears to need. Particularly, when comparing opposite sexes.

I think though, the very last paragraph of that reply is your most telling one (and by that I mean, the most clearly revealing) I wonder,....maybe if you had let her speak, that might have been all she needed. But perhaps a question for you to ask yourself, even if you had read and re-read what she said, and I think this is key, why do you think that probably would not have caused you to see that earlier?
....and again, I disagree, ...about it can't hurt to try. Because it can hurt a whole awful lot on many levels, if you are trying in a damaging and hurtful way...and again, I mean that as a generic statement, not one pointed just at you.

And, I think you may have just slammed the door shut on the little's group. (which actually, might not be a bad thing in the long run anyway) It was first started when some of the content on here would become "adult" in content and sometimes then someone's little would come out, being triggered and upset. But it was also meant to be a safe place where the children could talk to each other and NOT be lurked upon. That is why I didn't stay there long, once I realized that, no matter what anyone promised, we still couldn't tell who was "watching" us or not. I think the little's group was a really good idea, but in real time, it just didn't work the way it was meant to.

However, littles, there is still a way to communicate safely if you want to. You can still send personal messages back and forth with those whom you trust; and remember, you can always "ignore" someone (just go to their page and press the "ignore" button at the top right of the page) and you can do that whether or not you just met them, or if you've known them for a long time. And if you feel they are saying or doing something they shouldn't, you can also always send a message to the DS staff by using the "report abuse" link at the bottom of each DS page.

And one more thing I disagree about ~ LITTLES ARE NOT JUST MADE UP IN OUR MINDS!!! WE ARE REAL, NOT JUST MEMORIES. OTHERWISE, WHY WOULD WE BE DIFFERENT FROM OTHER PEOPLE IN OUR HEADS????? ~ (that's from a little, just in case you can't tell for sure )

I'm with Starfish when it comes to the Littles Group. Whether the group remains active or goes inactive, I think it should remain true to its original purpose.

Jen, if you want to change the purpose of the board speak to the Founder of the group, or as you mentioned, start your own group.

Thanks for the slam, Starfish. How Many"littles" have you been able to integrate or are you just letting them play in your head? Mine have come close to killing me more than once and If I want to survive, I HAVE to heal them and get my life back.

Littles ARE NOT real people running around inside your head. If you had a brain MRI, will you see tiny people in there? No. If they cut open your head and looked inside your brain will they find tiny people in there? No. They are manufactured by your brain as a link to your trauma memories. They have different opinions because at 3 and 4 and 5 and 6 and 10 and 12 and 16 and 18, we ALL have different opinions that may very well be contradictory to what we believe as adults. If you asked my 3 yr. old what she would think about abortion....she'd be horrified to learn that people kill unborn babies. But as an adult who knows people who have had abortions, I can understand why they did it. And as a child of a rape, I can understand why my parents planned to abort me but my mother backed out at the last minute and was so glad she didn't abort me despite the abuse I suffered. So as an adult, I can have mixed feelings and live with it but I guarantee that my 3 yr. old would be horrified that some people kill their unborn babies.

And at each level of my life, I've had different feelings and differing amounts of education so my opinions and feelings will change as I grew up and more alters formed....so they all think differently from my adult self. Does a 3 yr. old think the same way an 18 yr. old does? No. But both reside in my brain and both totally disagree on many issues and my adult self disagrees with both of them on top of it as I am now 64.

I am taking control as a way to tame my own brain and bring control to my life. DID is a form of PTSD and with PTSD, control is paramount. PTSD occurs when we feel we have no control over a life threatening trauma. Regaining a sense of self-control is needed to recover.

(In case you haven't kept up with the latest studies, PTSD is going to be moved to the Dissociative Disorders group of disorders where DID is)

And step #1 in regaining self-control is to recognize that alters are not real people running around inside your head but are memories and parts of the human personality that don't function properly. You can make them function properly and restore your personality to normal functioning.

But if you prefer to think you have tiny people running around inside your brain, then I wish you luck. I prefer to heal and enjoy what time I have left on this planet.

I have no intention of changing the purpose of the Littles Group and I suspect the founder of the group left and that is why a CL took it over. That is why I asked if I should let mine talk there so I can use it to heal. I don't need that group....I do it on my own journal and that is private to all. I just thought if I could share how I'm finding the true meaning of what they say, I could share how I've managed to heal 2 so far with many more to come. Beats those who talk about marrying off one of their alters to someone else's alters.

I am getting better and if you don't want to, that is your problem.

And my name is............Jen

Don't fight guys, don't name it personal .

Dont make it personal

Thanks for sharing about this. I hope it'll be more active. Seems like a really good idea.