Multiple Personalities Support Group
Dissociative identity disorder is a diagnosis described as the existence in an individual of two or more distinct identities or personalities, each with its own pattern of perceiving and interacting with the environment. At least two of these personalities are considered to routinely take control of the individual's behavior, and there is also some associated memory loss,...
In July I had to go in for surgery. I was TERRIFIED. I told them - no pain killers other than local and do NOT knock me out. They did need to give me a tranquilizer for my anxiety as my blood pressure was ridiculously high. It was the one that blocks memory of what's happening too, so after the surgery you can remember bits and pieces but not the whole experience. That is one part that's freaking my protector out.
They agreed to no pain killers and no anesthesia but told me they'd have to see how it went. They started the surgery and ran into a complication. They asked me what I wanted them to do. They went as long as possible but eventually told me they really felt they needed to put me out. I agreed.
I woke up in recovery and seemed to feel okay. I took the rest of the evening to sleep but the next day was pretty much good as new.
However...I have a protector alter that is still totally freaked out that I would agree to surgery and that someone could just knock us out and do whatever they want to us.
Logical discussions with him aren't working very well. And my blood pressure continues to be high. They put me on meds for the blood pressure and it's fine for a couple weeks and then they have to increase the dosage. Then it's fine for a couple more weeks - and then they have to up it.
I would prefer to work with my protector alter to enlist his help in lowering the pressure. I went in for muscle testing and they feel this is definitely isolated to my protector.
Any ideas are welcome. I'm looking at doing a "one and done" trauma session which uses stimulation of the vagal nerve but worry that could trigger more memories.
They agreed to no pain killers and no anesthesia but told me they'd have to see how it went. They started the surgery and ran into a complication. They asked me what I wanted them to do. They went as long as possible but eventually told me they really felt they needed to put me out. I agreed.
I woke up in recovery and seemed to feel okay. I took the rest of the evening to sleep but the next day was pretty much good as new.
However...I have a protector alter that is still totally freaked out that I would agree to surgery and that someone could just knock us out and do whatever they want to us.
Logical discussions with him aren't working very well. And my blood pressure continues to be high. They put me on meds for the blood pressure and it's fine for a couple weeks and then they have to increase the dosage. Then it's fine for a couple more weeks - and then they have to up it.
I would prefer to work with my protector alter to enlist his help in lowering the pressure. I went in for muscle testing and they feel this is definitely isolated to my protector.
Any ideas are welcome. I'm looking at doing a "one and done" trauma session which uses stimulation of the vagal nerve but worry that could trigger more memories.
Self soothing works wonders when logic will not.
But I've had 3 surgeries since I found the rest of them and who protects. Protectors don't like it when you lose control of any kind. That is what propels our PTSD symptoms....with PTSD you HAVE to be in control all the time and the reality is, you can't do it.
So I've had to learn how to teach my protectors that they can survive losing control if I, the adult core personality decide it is the best thing to do. You, as the adult in charge, need to explain that sometimes losing control is best...either that or they do surgery with no anesthesia which would be far more traumatic. You chose the less traumatic option.
So I play out in advance what surgery would feel like without anesthesia...how unbelievably painful surgery would be over the thought of losing control for a short amount of time. You can play it afterwards, too. Let him know what the option was...surgery with no anesthesia so you took the less painful option...that's all.
I have learned that I can control my alters...it is my own brain that they live in so I do have the control even when it's 8 against 1 or even 12 against 1(alters vary by strength). Sometimes I don't want to control them(easier) but eventually I do take control. I am now facing another huge spine surgery and it freaks everyone out but especially the protectors but I simply ask them which they would rather..the pain of surgery without anesthesia or the pain of no surgery or less pain once I have the surgery with anesthesia? When given those options, they choose surgery with anesthesia.
See, alters don't know you had just 2 options, they see no surgery at all as an option and the one they wanted. You need to explain that no surgery wasn't as option so you had to choose between local anesthesia(which you did try) and general anesthesia which also happened. But you chose the right one they have to accept that.....you rule, not them.
I tell them....out loud...that this is the choice and that is it and eventually, they will listen. Give it a try.
Jen