Multiple Personalities Support Group
Dissociative identity disorder is a diagnosis described as the existence in an individual of two or more distinct identities or personalities, each with its own pattern of perceiving and interacting with the environment. At least two of these personalities are considered to routinely take control of the individual's behavior, and there is also some associated memory loss,...
Been having trouble with 'treatment' lately, there were some really bad flashbacks last night and in the morning I realised I didn't even want to tell anyone. I read desperately instead, it can be extremely reassuring.
This list won't be true for everyone (and probably isn't even true for me, really) but I wrote it because I miss the bad guys because they liked me more and I'm sick of all the mixed up and unhelpful things people try to do to 'help'.
Bad guys: Want to get right inside you and be as close as possible. They look right into your eyes and it feels like they can see everything and they just accept that. They show you their true feelings whether theyre positive or negative.
Good guys: Have special rules about boundaries, that often inadvertently leave you feeling rejected and isolated. You know they have those because they dont actually want to be that close to you. They hide their negative feelings from you and pretend they just dont exist. (For your own good, clearly.. !!)
Bad guys: Not repelled or repulsed by your bodily fluids, your rage, your sadistic desires, your overwhelming vulnerability or infantile regression.
Good guys: Very easily repelled and repulsed, even frightened. Refusal to acknowledge parts of you (I dont mean the Others) that dont fit their view (e.g you are gentle). Very dismissive, even punitive and argumentative towards any indications that you are not a fully self-contained and independent and totally autonomous adult.
Bad guys: Know that they have a huge amount of power over you and seriously screwing with your mind, but that youre still yourself and respect you for it
Good guys: Paradoxical swings between insisting you accept you have permanent damage, and that you have personal responsibility for a full recovery. (And wondering how that might possibly enrage you.)
Bad guys: Gently dress you afterwards and let you fall asleep on their lap
Good guys: Are extremely cautious in deploying any amount of tenderness or care in case it creates further dependency or regression, or in case they are accused of inappropriate boundaries or abuse
Bad guys: Admire you for what you do for them, respect your toughness and applaud your efforts to join in and when you do, treat you like you belong.
Good guys: Feel sorry for you and insist you were just poor and helpless, that you had no choices and intimate that youre so hurt that youre not like them or other normal people
Bad guys: Seem to very much appreciate a persons need to be attached, so much so they rely on this and use it against you. They really understand how important it is to you.
Good guys: In an effort to be empowering, make sure you dont have any long-term engagements with any service providers. Make little or no effort to create, restore or preserve other attachments. Act punitively towards any indications of need and often use those as justification to end the relationship.
This list won't be true for everyone (and probably isn't even true for me, really) but I wrote it because I miss the bad guys because they liked me more and I'm sick of all the mixed up and unhelpful things people try to do to 'help'.
Bad guys: Want to get right inside you and be as close as possible. They look right into your eyes and it feels like they can see everything and they just accept that. They show you their true feelings whether theyre positive or negative.
Good guys: Have special rules about boundaries, that often inadvertently leave you feeling rejected and isolated. You know they have those because they dont actually want to be that close to you. They hide their negative feelings from you and pretend they just dont exist. (For your own good, clearly.. !!)
Bad guys: Not repelled or repulsed by your bodily fluids, your rage, your sadistic desires, your overwhelming vulnerability or infantile regression.
Good guys: Very easily repelled and repulsed, even frightened. Refusal to acknowledge parts of you (I dont mean the Others) that dont fit their view (e.g you are gentle). Very dismissive, even punitive and argumentative towards any indications that you are not a fully self-contained and independent and totally autonomous adult.
Bad guys: Know that they have a huge amount of power over you and seriously screwing with your mind, but that youre still yourself and respect you for it
Good guys: Paradoxical swings between insisting you accept you have permanent damage, and that you have personal responsibility for a full recovery. (And wondering how that might possibly enrage you.)
Bad guys: Gently dress you afterwards and let you fall asleep on their lap
Good guys: Are extremely cautious in deploying any amount of tenderness or care in case it creates further dependency or regression, or in case they are accused of inappropriate boundaries or abuse
Bad guys: Admire you for what you do for them, respect your toughness and applaud your efforts to join in and when you do, treat you like you belong.
Good guys: Feel sorry for you and insist you were just poor and helpless, that you had no choices and intimate that youre so hurt that youre not like them or other normal people
Bad guys: Seem to very much appreciate a persons need to be attached, so much so they rely on this and use it against you. They really understand how important it is to you.
Good guys: In an effort to be empowering, make sure you dont have any long-term engagements with any service providers. Make little or no effort to create, restore or preserve other attachments. Act punitively towards any indications of need and often use those as justification to end the relationship.
I'm discovering what it means to have a healthy connection
no wonder it is said , that learning to trust myself is important on the journey of recovery...
They both sound pretty nasty, honestly. Is there a third option?
My one therapist used to HATE it when I used the words "good" and "bad". But, I totally get what you are saying.
I really do think that both of those types are unhealthy though.
Actually, using splits like that... that things are 'all or nothing', or 'black and white with no shades of grey', or 'good guys and bad guys' leaves the majority of 'some', 'gray' and people that are mixtures of desireable and undesirable traits along with some just 'duh' parts to them.
Whan I was a teen I had things split like that too though. For one it seemed to me that people were divided into two categories - Controllers, and Controllees (I had never heard of Dominants and submissives at that time) . I also thought that Love was always attached to Violence, and that Sex was part of that equation in some special relationships.. so I saw Love=Sex=Violence as inseparable.
I sort of meant 'good' guys as a bit of a joke, and was kind of making fun of how they expect you to be so grateful and appreciate them, but treatment like that just hurts you as well.
The useful guys are awesome (and yes, everyone is a mixture of everything, but you know what I mean!)
Thanks so much for your comments, it's great getting so many perspectives