You will restore sanity into your family and as for your brother, either he is also being abused, will be abused in the future or will only have this dysfunctional way of living for model and will reproduce it;
You see, your littles ones inside yourself also suffer greatly from the situation;
Everybody deserves to be helped in your present sutuation and , excuse me for being hard, but it is not the time to write sad poems about it or hope that the lord will save you from this;
Precious one, the reason i am xrioting is that I have been there, the sacrificial lamb, the one who suffers in silence to "save" the family and pray to god that it is all removed .
Unfortunately, abuse will not stop of its own;
Nothing personal either;Your parents were themselves abused in their youth, as you are aware;You are a bright, sensitive girl;You are going to go far in life, i know that too;i was a school teacher all lmy life.
You are going to win and in your own time, when you are ready, you are going to search for real help, and find it.
it is never too late;Understand that the ultimate compassion and love for your family is to rescue them too.how do you do that, by breaking the dysfunctional pattern;
I wish I had been able to wake up earlier from my deep dissociation and DID.
Go for it, little flower.Beside, in the absolute sense, there is nothing to be afraid of;Go for the light and happiness;You deserve it as we all do on this board.
By talking you will stop your family from hurting you;
As we go along life, we realise the whole world is our family;Do not worry, you are going to meet plenty of new family an one day, build your own;Do you want your future children to be raised in that hell realm or do you want to restore sanity for all of you?

I fell lik it all on my sholders that it up to me to fix it.. Why me I have old sibs it always lik this my mom says im the glu to this family and it my responsiblty to keep us together :-/ and yet I hav to fix it ? I would rather hid and fix me and stop it from happin to my fam

excuse me, but if she wants to write poems about it then it is time to write poems about it. Sometimes that's the best way we have to express ourselves, and , for hopeless to have some hope is a good thing, and if that hope is in Jesus, part of the DS agreement is to respect the faith of people here. thank you ,, you have your opinions, and it's not that they are so hard, but they are your own personal opinions and maybe you disrespected her in that.

Hopeful, I am the oldest child in my family, and it all fell on me too. but they wanted me to fix it in an enabling way. Enabling means to make is so they can be totally wrong with no consequences, or that you take all the consequences as a scapegoat. Sorry, that does not work. and Moonface is right about your brother, that continuing to live in the dysfunction only teaches him to accept the dysfunction which he will then pass on later in his life.

About fixing yourself, yes, the instructions in the airplane say to put on your own oxygen mask first, then you can help the others.

btw being saved by God takes a partnership. Both do part in cooperation.

In counseling,usually, the first priority in helping someone get healthy is to get them out of actively abusive situations. Like to save a drowning person you get them out of the rip tide.

Sorry if I hurt anybody.
I love art,my husband is an artist.i believe in spirituality as the main force of strength , whatever name we call God.
I was awkward in my answer.I find your poetry very beautiful and you are very gifted.
What I meant is we can be lead to accept the unacceptable, not talk about the abuse still taking place and use spirituality as a way to continue being destroyed by our abusers and remain silent.

in the same way, I can't sit be next to you, compliment your poetry and not hear your cry for help.i had a similar story to yours and it is so painful to see those horrors still happen in this age.
__________trigger_______________
In the case of stories such as ours, it is very hard for us to become aware of the extent of the harm our abusers have done to us.I remember I was in a state of shock when I was shown by my therapist that my father could have spent 20 years in prison or more because forced abortion is a long term sentence in france.I think it is the same in the USA.
I also realised that, by not talking, I was made to endure that again, put my health at high risk, I then had a lot of difficulties having a baby with my husband.

__________end of trigger__________

For some reason, I thought that by taking responsibility for the abuse, and suffering in silence,i was "saving" my family, especially my mother and brothers.I felt my mother would have committed suicide and great catastrophy would have happened by my fault.itook model on Jesus and did nothing until I finally could escape for good.
Needless to say that my mother unconsciously or consciously knew everything that was taking place and never attempted at her own life
.In fact, when I found myself in trouble later on, I clearly saw that she had chosen to protect her husband, her reputation, her house anf chose to sacrifice me and call me the crazy one.

After a long journey of crossing many trials ,I finally came to face my most painful traumas that i had hidden from everybody and myself .I was able to welcome and reassure those dissociative parts in me who were terrified and still bore the blame for crimes which they had not committd;Back in the sixties, nobody spoke of incest;
After me, my father abused of 8 relative childreni know of.
Suffering og extreme dissociation without knowing it, I became a prey for different pedoplhiles and abusive men.I only strated therapy in my 40's, after 20 years of escapism .
I did not know I could be helped, or even that I needed or deserved to be helped;
I hope I. have not been too abrupt.
You have so many qualities and gifts one cannot help loving you;
I am sure you are going to meet a lot of people in this life who will be so happy to have met you.

Thank you so much you two and its crazy how much I can relate you your stories ... You two are right and I know I need to do something .. Moonface you talked about your dad abusing others.. I fear if I don't please my cousin he will go after one my little cousin which he loves with during the Summer so I sacrifice myself.. I fear the police won't believe me.. I'm a big rugby playing girl who should be able to defend myself and my cousin is younger ... I'm can't take not being believed that kills me..
Your.right moomface it is a call for help the best way Takiah knows how and I feel bad I have ignore my parts all this time :-/

thanks for sharing your story, moonface. I understand the fear that in saving yourself, survivor's guilt. I also thought my mother would fall apart without my strength present. And I was the protector for my younger siblings too, and what did they do?

moonface said, "I took model on Jesus and did nothing". Jesus did not do nothing. In one instance he took a whip and chased all the crooks out of the temple. In another instance he called some fake religious people vipers and yelled at them. He told some they were going to hell. A couple of times he just walked away. It was only when he knew that his time had come to die that he let go of this life, not before.

I understand that you give yourself to try to keep the abuser from picking on others. I did that too. It didn't work. Your cousin may already be picking on the other cousin, and the way to stop him is to stop him, not to give him both. That's actually enabling him to get away with being an abuser. there are ways to deal with abusers and I hope you think about it, get inspired, and then do what you can to stop the abuse.

kick azzz take names later stop being hopeless all of us are giving you hope power and love BMW kick his azz find your power warrior zena woman get rid of him then smile will you walk to wash with me to tell about sexual abuse,, please hurry up and win bmw

umm I guess that's one way to do it. I'm not sure I'd recommend it though. Sometimes a physical fight is necessary, but it's only a temporary fix and might have negative consequences.

I like the stories of Brer Rabbit and Brer Bear. Do you know any of those? Brer Rabbit was smaller but he knew how to use his brain.

you go gurl

I can't kick his butt when I fight like that I black out

i pray alot and you are close to spirit I can tell ,, you deserve not to be abused