Multiple Personalities Support Group
Dissociative identity disorder is a diagnosis described as the existence in an individual of two or more distinct identities or personalities, each with its own pattern of perceiving and interacting with the environment. At least two of these personalities are considered to routinely take control of the individual's behavior, and there is also some associated memory loss,...
I hate my mother. She ruled my life in such manipulative ways that several of my personalities are petrified of her, but she's dead now. Yet, her voice lingers. I have a personality that was her abusive, neglectful, shameful, overpowering evil voice. Through years of counseling we were able to have that personality became the voice of the mother she should have been. Now that personality is kind, loving, wise and gentle. Yet, some times I still hear her evil voice and it still scares me frozen causing me to switch in order to function while protecting the children.
thanks for you detailed response. It must have been so difficult to detach from your mum this way. I'd imagine it took a lot of despair to initiate the process and took a lot of strength to maintian it? And to accept that your mum will never be the mother you deserve.
could you tell us how you came about helping your introject learn that she wasn't your mum bit is in fact a part of you? What strategies did you have, what methods did you use? Was it a fast process or one that took place over several years? I'd really appreciate any information on this you can share with us
kevin
So I forbid her from doing that.
Just told her to stop, that I knew it was her, and she wasn't going to control us today.
She said "I hate you!" and stomped off to her room, which is somewhere in my headspace.
She's 7, and is a very damaged little girl, but she lashes out in anger a lot and wants to get me to kill myself.
So improvement is being aware she's doing it again and telling her, lovingly, to stuff it.
this is the 2nd ime recently you've made me laugh. Katherine's sigh and lament about having to put up with your fashion sense was the other time. Both of these struck me as gentle loving chidings
i hope i don't offend members if i say it would be lovely if you all shared your genlter humorous moments occasionally?
kevin
How to battle the Mom syndrum? Good question. The personality that was my mother's evil voice had to deal with her issue regarding how my mother's evil was being continued through this mother like personality. Her name is Katherine. In the transformation from evil to good she needed to hear how her evil ways were frightening to the other personalities. Than she needed to hear how they forgave her understood her and cared about her regardless of her abusive ways. They acknowledged her and accepted her right where she was. That blew her mind. The fact that her intimidation was responded with lovingkindness completely shocked her. Then she went into hiding for a few months. During that time I think she was testing the others to see if what they said they meant. They did. There love for her softened her heart and even brought her to repentance. She's a lovely woman now. She's wise and protective over all of us. She's the mother I always wished I could have had. :)
I hope this helped some!
Hugs!
Jessy
I also have,, well, maybe it's not quite the same thing, but I have a new developing mother like part that is like the mother I never had, who cares for me and guides me to make good decisions and to follow through on them. Odd but nice. Other people have told me I have a mother like part, but they don't particularly like that one. This one doesn't 'come out' but stays inside and talks to just me.
I'm so glad you have a kind compassionate mother in you. I think all of us who have MPD (DID) need to have a loving personality that can bring comfort to everybody! She has set an example for the others about being more compassionate for each others issues and their personality developements and struggles. Unfortunately, it's not as easy as it sounds. Good for you!
Hugs
Jessy!
this is a wondeful thing. A healing thing?
You speak so casually of it, but i'm guessing it was anything but casual at the time? From whjat you've told us and from hylie's post above can i assume the following?
1) empathy - understanding and acknowledgement of these personalities by the others is important
2) acceptance of them, for themselves?
3)forgiveness for any giref and disruption they may have caused in your livesd?
4) and perhaps the most important ... finally a genuine fondness and affection for them?
... so that they know they belong and have value and can contriibute ot the richness of your lives? Am i mistaken in this, or are there things i've missed that could be important?
but i notice you haven't used the 'introject' word. And that's set me wondering if perhaps i've been foolish enough to think i understand such things when i obviously don't? A singleton's mistake? This is something i'd really like to understand. Well, as much as a non multiple can. I think i'll start a new thread and ask if people would be willing to share their experiences with me. I'd really like it if you would help clarify things for me there?
kevin
hey bmw
i think this is a critically important thing you speak of. A few months ago my Dad died. A non event in my life. He was pretty much always an achoholic. I remember little of my childhood, but from what my younger sisters say, our lives were filled with random acts of violence and petty nastynesses. I'm not remotely interested in forgiving him. But i know enough of his childhood to understand that he was very badly damaged himself when little, and that his parenting reflected that. Which at least helps me acknowledge any good he did in my life.
I''m glad you seem to have progressed furhter in such things than i have
:- )
kevin
I'm not quite sure what "introject"means. If you explain the definition of the word I could give you a reason why I did not use it.
Jessy