Multiple Personalities Support Group
Dissociative identity disorder is a diagnosis described as the existence in an individual of two or more distinct identities or personalities, each with its own pattern of perceiving and interacting with the environment. At least two of these personalities are considered to routinely take control of the individual's behavior, and there is also some associated memory loss,...
When I was 15, I got rescued from a place for bad kids. The guy in charge got seen abusing me, so one of the staff and his wife said I could live with them. They snuck in one weekend when the guy in charge was away, I ran out to them with my garbage bag of stuff they drove me home to their house.
It was totally the best year ever, I will never ever forget them or stop being grateful. The only thing was, they didn't realise how dangerous my family was, so when they got pregnant they dropped me at my parents house. There was so nowhere to sleep or put my stuff, and everything was dangerous and scary again. Every night after everyone else went to bed, I put headphones on and listened to Delta Goodrems 'Born to Try' and cried myself to sleep on the computer chair. I was so determined to make a good life, despite everything. I wanted to try.
Then one day I went to listen, and the CD was gone. I looked totally everywhere but I never saw or heard of it again. I think my mum stole it because it was giving me courage and hope. On the scale of things it wasn't a big deal, but before too long I forgot to want to try. Things got bad again.
Recently I re-discovered the song, and I am stealing it back. I am taking my courage and hope and determination and fighting for my 15 year old self, and all of us. There is no reason we can't make a home of our own, with dogs and friends and burgers at the beach. Eventually.
I think the people I lived with didn't know they helped, because I just hid, ran away, or fell asleep all the time. It was too hard to know what to do with them, I thought they would hate me and want me to be gone. It was too confusing being safe, I didn't know what they wanted.
It was totally the best year ever, I will never ever forget them or stop being grateful. The only thing was, they didn't realise how dangerous my family was, so when they got pregnant they dropped me at my parents house. There was so nowhere to sleep or put my stuff, and everything was dangerous and scary again. Every night after everyone else went to bed, I put headphones on and listened to Delta Goodrems 'Born to Try' and cried myself to sleep on the computer chair. I was so determined to make a good life, despite everything. I wanted to try.
Then one day I went to listen, and the CD was gone. I looked totally everywhere but I never saw or heard of it again. I think my mum stole it because it was giving me courage and hope. On the scale of things it wasn't a big deal, but before too long I forgot to want to try. Things got bad again.
Recently I re-discovered the song, and I am stealing it back. I am taking my courage and hope and determination and fighting for my 15 year old self, and all of us. There is no reason we can't make a home of our own, with dogs and friends and burgers at the beach. Eventually.
I think the people I lived with didn't know they helped, because I just hid, ran away, or fell asleep all the time. It was too hard to know what to do with them, I thought they would hate me and want me to be gone. It was too confusing being safe, I didn't know what they wanted.
H = hearing
O = other
P = people's
E = experience
Thank you for sharing hope Jammie
you're doing great. its good to know you have courage and hope for better days, i can feel it in your words. and its great you have enough courage to open up to us here on this forum.
fighting for yourself is a great gift to if u ask me.
Delta Goodrem Born To Try
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8Ff6Aq307s