Ella. Please calm down. It's ok. Please.

You shut the fuck up! This is all your fault! You need to knock it off!! People won't help you. You should have avoided like I told you to! -Ella

Stop it! You are not in control of me. I am the host. You listen to me Ella. And listen good. You can't keep doing this. You let them go. Ivory told me what you were up to and it's not right. Your crushing them! They need help and your just locking them up! And we can't live without peoples support. We can't avoid 7 billion people! Just live with it!

hi ella

i'm sorry if this sounds a stupid question but i'm not multiple so i can never really know about you guys. And i often flounder trying to understand what it is people on this forum are saying


" I hate everyone! We trusted them and they just go and hurt us. But they can't hurt me. They'll all pay!!"

who are you talking about when you say this? Cos i noticed you've been more than just a tad pissed with your others of late. And i'm not really clear if you mean your blackrose people or the outside people that caused all of you so much hurt?

kevin

Every god damn human and and others in this stupid world. I hate them all!! All Bailey's " friends" have betrayed us! There all stupid! I'm gonna beat the shit out of them.
-Ella

Everything is fucking bullshit and i feel like making everybody pay too. I fucking hate everyone.

Damn straight! -Ella

i can imagine that sometimes it would be good to have those responsible share the hurt they've caused

way too often the fucktards in life just get away with it.
-head shake -

kevin

I don't think people get away with it. I believe that the earth has a natural balance, even with people. And I believe in karma too.
Even though we are hating everyone, we don't always feel this way, guyz. Sometimes, we luv the support we get here. Sometimes we think there is goodness and hope in the world. DID is a disorder of hope. We believe that someday, we will be whole again, and in a place where we will get the love and acceptance we never got before. Hope!!!

But ya, i totally have those- I hate everyone dayz too. And then the next day, it's, i'm better than everyone. then the next day, it's: i'm a pile of shit that deserves to be flushed down the toilet. lol

k2hSharpe your pic is really scaring my little. i don't get it, is it a ghost? but she doesn't like it at all. Sorry!!

hi Wutsthepoint
please tell your little that i'm sorry my avatar was scary - i've changed it - is this one ok?

and nope, please tell your little that it isn't a ghost, its a wandjina. Wandjina are very special creation spirits for 3 groups of aboriginal peoples living in the Kimberley region of western australia. They help bring the monsoon rains that the region's ecology depends upon. Here's a link if you are interested ...
http://www.mowanjumarts.com/history.html

is it the Spring, the weather or what? I am feeling much the same way. Not meaning to hijack your thread Ella & all. Hoping you are able to find some peace and get past whatever happened to trigger you.
?

There are days when I just throw my arms up in surrender when I see people hurt people as well as have my times when I think I am better off being alone. Yet, I also know I need to support and be supported which means being with people. I often wonder before the internet how many people I would be able to talk to about my multiplicity since now I can talk to people all over the states. I think it is awesome that we have a place to go to learn, be supported and to support. As a P.S. sometimes people just stink.

i don't know stephanie, but spring seems to be the most difficult time for most people - it is when we are the busiest at work and the stats bear it out year after year nationwide. people think the holidays are the hardest but people seem to manage to get through them then fall apart now, i don't understand it but there it is - i'm in the same boat but i know the reason i'm depressed and won't get into it here.

it is horrible thing to begin to trust someone and find out that your trust was misplaced, even a little bit when you've been abused and hurt as terribly as most here have been. it makes us angry and want to strike out in every direction and smash the entire world. i know because i used to feel that way too. i felt that no one would ever love me and i couldn't love myself.

i don't know when the change happened, when i stopped being so angry and began to if not love myself at least be kind and patient with myself. i still find it difficult to trust, i am always on guard for the slap after the handshake - i think my therapist has helped but it wasn't easy. i had to teach him a lot but fortunately he was willing to learn.

i'm glad ella and the others were able to rant here where it's safe and people understand. i hope everyone is ok now and is starting to feel better.

... We lost all our old friends. They either left us or they hate our guts... There's been alot of drama going on at school and people keep calling me a whore... The whole school thinks I'm this crazy whore, and a pothead.... But they wouldn't be wrong. Things are just so hard, especially with 54 people living in my head. And my sister in law is beating me and threatening to take away my nephews if I tell my brother what a monster she is. Shes been beating my nephews..... And she openly tortured me and hit me in front of my entire family and no one cared..... Cause I'm the outlaw, the problem.. The crazy one...