Multiple Personalities Support Group
Dissociative identity disorder is a diagnosis described as the existence in an individual of two or more distinct identities or personalities, each with its own pattern of perceiving and interacting with the environment. At least two of these personalities are considered to routinely take control of the individual's behavior, and there is also some associated memory loss,...
So I'm reading through parts of Stranger in the Mirror, by Marlene Steinberg.
I know I've been DX with DID. I've accepted that. I'm trying to deal with it in my rather half.hearted, layman's fix it yourself way.
I've talked with my sister, friends, co.workers about a little bit of this. Some people know or at least have been told (big difference) that I have a swiss cheese brain.
I'm not sure then why I always react so strongly and negatively when it comes to amnesia.
I know it is a part or can be a part of this condition. I know I have experienced it. I don't know why my reaction to hearing about amnesia, or reading about DID makes:
my body heat up. me feel nervous, anxious, defensive. me feel fearful or apprehensive. me feel on edge. me confused and forgetful.
Its ... my friend has diabetes. He has to take insulin. When he he to take it, he doesn't freak out and get all shamed and nervous. I don't know why I do.
I have accepted this diagnosis for years, just can't figure why it always causes a flight reaction in me....unless I still have people that haven't accepted it.
Dissociative amnesia is a specific dissociative disorder and can also be part of DID, if I am understanding correctly.
It is not exactly the same as for a non DID.
Amnesiac episodes for a "normal" person are supposedly brief, not necessarily upsetting or troubling, anddont occur often. Like when you are driving home and zone out and are suddenly in your driveway.
For DIDders there are episodes of missing time that can b like, often and prolonged.
For me, I have at least a full year of my life that I don't remember and patchy spots all over where I'm not sure of a lot of things.
One girl shared an upsetting episode on here about something that happened to her, and it made me think of a situation in my past. I had a stalker following me home one day, and it got to the point where I ran into a store building and just faked looking at stuff trying to AIT him out until he went away. But when I walked back outside he was just in the alley waiting for me and continued to follow me home. (1. When telling this story it feels so like a dream I can't tell if it happened or if I read it in a book. This is a telltale sign for me. 2. I don't know if one of my alters had made friends with this person and maybe he wasn't stalking me at all but a friend of on of my others!! In which case, one of me is seeing this as a threatening situation, where an Other of me might go make out with this guy. I just don't know!
Anyway, DID blackouts can be months long, or years. I had an alter go by a different name for a whole year in !my childhood and I have no memory of it.