yes. it can be a horror for me. once i 'lost' a year. it was madness. i was seeing a therapist and couldn't manage the copayment, we agreed i'd stop then call when i could pay it again. i called and he hesitated and said his practice had changed and he couldn't fit me in. i was shocked, it'd only been a month i said. he got quiet, and said, it'd been a year! huh? my husband confirmed it. hmm. a year?

then one day, many years later i was sitting in the parking lot waiting to go into a therapy appointment. my cell rang, the therapist was calling b/c i was late. huh? uh. oh. i looked at the digital clock in the car and realized i could NOT tall time. hmm. ok. what's that about? no idea. i apologized and went inside. it was at that point that the therapist realized i was dissociative, until then he wasn't quite sure what was happening.

time can become fluid for me. it expands and contracts. it can race or slow depending on what is happening. i 'lose' it by the minute or hour. i forget entire conversations or events, i cannot remember getting married - i'm sure i did, i had the pictures to prove it but i do not recall a moment of it. and tasks as you asked about are also subject to 'hmm, i have no clue.' sometimes the same task can take ten times as long as normal and i have no idea why - showering and dressing for example - what happens? i couldn't tell you.

Me, too. And recently, more than ever. Some other things that can influence your concentration (and ability to recall information) are also medications, stress, age, and even poor nutrition (protein deficiency, for example) Also, I am on disability so there isn't a lot that defines one day from another. So, if I try (or am asked to) recall what day something happened recently, (like when a large dent was found on my front bumper) I can give a ball-park guess, but it it was longer than yesterday or maybe the day before, it's a shot in the dark.

anything before now is recently. Anything after now is either soon, or in a while.

I just had a meeting with my Psychiatrist.

When she asked about events on a time line - I answered "one day or three hundred days it's the same. Time has no meaning to me."

I just lost a year. Officially on July 1 I have been living in a friends basement. One whole fucking year. Gone Another one gone just like that.

oh jeez, i just realized this applies to me as well. Time goes by so fast, its as if a blink of an eye. I have no sense of when something happened. When other people ask me, I make excuses and duck the question. I know I'll be way off-by years!

YES! I totally relate! My problem is not future time estimation, but past time line. I have no clue of the time of events in the past. It's all scrambled and sometimes I do not even get people in the right story. It's so bad that It happens day by day sometimes. I think it was a week ago when it was just yesterday. My daughter is visiting and there have many times I commented on a thing of hers and how I liked it and she was surprised that I did not remember that I bought it for her.

I cannot put the past in any chronological order at all. It's all very confusing, even the recent past. When I'm at work concentrating on a project I usually feel very clear headed, but whenever the subject of time comes up I find it hard to stay present. It's the same at home and at therapy.

I found a shirt in my bedroom still in the store bag and I had no memory of buying it. In fact, I had bought another just like it.

Also when I remember the abuse, there are no feelings attached to it, it's like it was someone else except I know it was me. I know that they are all symptoms of DID, but it makes me feel crazy. I'm normally very high functioning. I work at a very technical job and I'm very good at it, but at home I'm totally a different person.

it is not uncommon to not experience feelings when remembering abuse or other trauma. we often dissociate feelings when we are traumatized, it is called depersonalization, and we also may experience derealization as well. that is when things seem unreal. i've experienced both and it is surreal to say the least. it can effect time and our experience of it, which i've also struggled with and still do once in a while, it won't surprise you i'm sure to know that when i'm stressed it's worse.

like you i can function well, particularly at work and fall apart elsewhere. i don't have a technical job, in fact it's the opposite, i work in psych but i compartmentalize and it works quite well. i do find that when stressed i do it a lot and i forget entire shifts. it was very distressing at first but once i realized in a crisis i am completely focused and respond appropriately i no longer stress over it.

i also realized that my memory is not as impaired as i imagined. it is like most things, viewed through the lens of self consciousness it looms as a much larger issue than it is in reality. i made this determination by careful observation and comparison of colleagues. i also made a concentrated effort to recall information and remain present while at work. after a while others began to comment about how much i recalled about patients, our patients are often readmitted after weeks to months, sometimes years, and i would say oh that's the patient with short blonde hair, and glasses, from new york. and everyone would remember the patient.

it doesn't always work, sometimes i don't have a clue and i still lose track of time but overall it has improved. i rarely get lost in my own life although the past remains a puzzle. i no longer try to put the pieces into any semblance of order. when speaking with a professional regarding it i am frank, i explain that i am unable to put events in chronological order and if they wish they can try but i am going to tell it the best way i can. i refuse to become stressed over the order anymore, the content is disturbing enough. if the professional is compassionate and truly interested in helping they will forego the timeline and listen instead to the content. and if they are unwilling or unable to do that then they do not deserve the honor of hearing the story.

i get really confused when i'm co conscious and someone asks me a direct question like: why do you think it would be better to (fill in blank)?
And i have a bunch of different answers going off in my head and i just sit there listening, or thinking, while the person asking me (my best friend) waits, probably thinking im deaf and dumb at the moment.

I have no sense of time either...Sometimes a day will feel like an eternity and eternity will feel like a day.

I bought the workbook "Coping With Trauma-Related Dissociation" that my therapist recommended. She keeps a copy in her office. It's primarily a workbook on DID. When I read the second chapter it scared me, because it was me in print. It made everything that I experience real. I know that I have DID, but this made it real.

Loum-omg I know, I keep rereading that chapter. It's so clear and descriptive. I can't deny it anymore.

We did the exercises at the end of chapter 1 together and the first one at the end of chapter 2. She wants me to do the rest of the exercises in chapter 2 and read chapter 3, only if I want to. She doesn't put any pressure on me.

Another thing that confuses me is also having PTSD. I wonder if it's possible to have DID without having PTSD. PTSD seems very insidious, I can go for a while without any symptoms then get hit with one trigger after another.

For me over the last 20 years, the PTSD comes and goes as you said. But now I wonder if maybe I was just pushing it way down or an alter was taking it on for me and I didn't know. Right now I am aware of everything and it is very painful again. I have all the symptoms back.

I just finished the third chapter in the workbook. I can't deny that I have DID now. I knew I did because I wouldn't be seeing this therapist if I didn't, but it always seemed unreal. This workbook makes it real, because it's what I experience in print. The first few chapters explain a lot about DID and the difference in the dissociation that most people experience. The exefcises so far have been mostly about grounding. I do have a lot of trouble remaining present often.

Its kinda sad, i don't want to be grounded. Does that even make sense?