I was just diagnosed on Friday (2 days ago). I had MGUS for 6 years and got in the habit of hearing the doctor say that my numbers were still "suspect" but not changing and not yet MM. I got to the point where I seriously thought I would NEVER get it. Then came the dreaded days when he told me that my numbers were bad and he wanted to start me on Velcade next week. Although I am over 60 years old and one of those big ole tough guys, it came as not only a shock, but I must say, I teared up a bit. So now I know what it is like to not be able to dream and plan for retirement in 10 or 15 years. It just is very depressing to not have that optimistic thoughts about the future. That is probably the biggest deal, but I also as very scared about treatments and the possibility that treatments won't work and I will have further damage of my body. Basically, I am a mess right now. It is better when I talk about it. When I just lay in bed, all I can think about is death and no future. I am looking forward to when I am as strong as the rest of you all. I am looking forward to learning more about treatments. Please forgive me for the negativity.