this has been, surprisingly, one of the hardest parts for us. my husband is on board with trying but he also tells me he's worried that it won't just fix everything and on top of grieving, there's the worry and normal hormonal shifts to deal with. I understand that but then I'm such a persistent person, when I start something I always get what I work toward and this has been torturous. because, really, you cannot MAKE it happen. we gave it a month (not like there was any activity during that awful time..) and now every period is a horrific devastation. not only were they a reenactment of the nightmare, and the disappointment of not being pregnant, but they have been extremely painful.
so.. all that to say, the decision is hard because in one way you have to deal with the monthly disappointment (and we pray not!) but then on the other hand not trying, to me, feels like giving up and takes me that much longer to get what I desire. so hard!!
for us, we are just trying to let it happen as it will. we've stopped charting, and I'm trying not to agonize of when we have or don't have sex. maybe just letting go of the need to control it will help, but I do understand that's easier said than done!

hi all, I wasn't sure about when to try for another either. My husband will be crazy busy for work 9 months from now (another reason Im sad about the miscarriage, the timing was perfect for us!) and having an infant as well as my 2yr old would be really hard. But the desire to have a baby is much stronger and I'm letting my heart rule my head. I was even using my ovulation sticks this month and determined to be pregnant this month! Couldn't wait to find out how we got on (does anyone else feel like they are wishing half a month away??) I took a test yesterday and it was negative. I was so sad yesterday when I found out and it made me grieve for my lost baby all over again.
I'm doing a bit better day, and looking ahead for next month.
I've only had the one miscarriage so trying again, although scary, is still an option for us. I do feel for you logavemom having had 2 miscarriages, it's such a hard decision, I hope we can be of some help to you.

Everything is so hard!! Yes, I'm wishing from the minute my ovulation window starts! When we tried again it was hoping and wishing for days just to be devasted when my period starts!! And I also had heavier periods so it brought back memories of the miscarriage! I know I can get pregnant again I just don't know if I can keep it! So even seeing a positive test this last time was hard because inside I knew it would happen again! Part of me thinks I have 2 and I should just leave it at that..... but my heart aches! I love my children but I desperatly want another baby! I just hope I can get some tests done that will help me decide whether its a good idea again or not. Either decision will be heartbraking!! Thank u all for your thoughts and support!

They told me when my miscarriage happened that I'd probably "have a strong desire to REPLACE the baby". I believed them at the time, but boy was that an understatement! I was so convinced by what they told me, that I had them give me the bc shot without knowing anything about it other than it would last 3 months. I didn't want to let my hormones and sadness make the decision for me. (Note - I regret this because I didn't know how much the shot could mess with my body, ie extend the bleeding, hormones).
"Replace" was their word for it. Nothing can replace. But I feel like it's the only thing that could make me feel better. I feel so conflicted about it though. Like I'd be putting a big weight on a new baby - wanting it to make up for my lost baby. I hope time will heal me so that I feel like I wouldn't be mixing my emotions about my lost baby with a new baby.