I do know exactly how you feel and let me tell you, you have every right to be upset about all of it! Shortly after my m/c last year, my neighbor told me that she was pregnant and that she decided to have an abortion. She made the appointment but, thankfully, she didn't go. I was so upset knowing how much I wanted to have another child and that she would just throw away that life! My heart hurt so bad until she told me that she didn't go through with it. A few months later, I found out I was pregnant again so we were going through it together. Her baby was born in November, happy and healthy. Unfortunately, my baby was stillborn at 28 weeks in March. My neighbor, as much as I care for her, talks about things when we were pregnant together and I get so mad at her. I don't want to look at her baby sometimes cause it still hurts, knowing she was going to intentionally get rid of her. I also found out recently that the lady down the street from me, who is pragnant, is due the same day I was. I know it's a horrible thing to do, but most every time she comes around, I leave and go back to my house and hide. I just don't want to look at her. Please know you are not alone! And no matter what decision your friend makes, she has to live with it. All we can do is pray for her. P.S. I don't think it would hurt anything if you tell your other friend that it bothers you when she complains about her pregnancy. She might not realize that you are still sensitive about what has happened to you. May God bless you and give you the strength to breath every day!

I am so sorry that you have to hear all that. It is tough enogh to see someone pregnant, but someone just getting rid of a wonderful thing. You are in my thoughts and prayers honey. Take care

Thank you for your comments ladies. I am very disturbed right now. I just came back for lunch and saw her walking to her car on her way to the appt. I went to the bathroom and cried. Can't stand it!!
Something did make it better. When I walked in my office I found a beautiful flower arrangement my hubby sent me for Mother's Day. Perfect timing.

I am sorry you are having a hard time.I hope it gets better very soon...Your hubby sure has good timing.Take care

I really understand your feelings. You wanted to have your baby, and you see another person who is capable of having a full term pregnancy abort it. It seems so unfair and so frustrating - sometimes life does not make sense!

My boyfriend's ex (with whom he has 2 kids with) - gets pregnant at the drop of a hat - she is now up to 4 kids. Not because she wants kids - she wants the money she can get from the father's of the children.

I understand your feelings with this situation - I am sitting here crying for the pain you must be feeling.

Thank you for sharing - your feelings are normal.

Take Care!

I am so sorry you are going through that. My sister in law is due around the time I was supposed to be giving birth (June) and it kills me to know that she still has that happiness of a new baby and mine got stolen away from me. I know its sellfish but we are only human and reading everyone's replies here, I guess its a normal thing to feel. The day I was leaving the hospital without my beautiful angel, I overheard the receptionist talking on the phone and saying how another woman who had just given birth that same night was ready to sign over the adoption papers. I could not believe it and it enraged me that I had just lost the most important thing in my life, and this lady was giving her baby away. I know this is wrong but all I could think about was, "God, why did you have to take MY little girl, when there are so many unwanted kids out there"...'Til this day I still replay that day in my mind over and over again and i still can't believe that someone would give such a blessing away. I used to be pro-choice but after I got pregnant I never could imagine someone killing a child, for a child is still a child even if he or she has not been born yet. There are consquences to ever action and as adults we need to deal with them not find and "easy way out".

P.S. It also kills me that my sister in law has smoked her entire pregnancy (sometimes a bit more than cigarettes) and she is perfectly fine and happy, and I took care of myself and did everything by the book and I am the one who gets to hear those dreaded words that there is no heartbeat.

Honey, you are just saying what we all feel. I too get angry when I see a pregnant woman or a baby. and then on the news last night was a story about a little boy who was starved to death. Why me God? You hold your head up and don't transplant your emotions into someone elses decisions. You focus on yourself and what you and all of our support does for you on a positive level. I used to be very liberal in woman's rights. But after I saw my baby without a heartbeat on my ultrasound, now I think how in the hell?! You are entitled to your feelings so work through it and you know we are all here.

Hi, Iramallo,

You feel what you feel, and don't think that you're judging your friend because of it. What you feel is perfectly normal, these are emotions any of us would have, me included. One day, you'll be able to have a conversation with your friend about it. Now, it's not the time to hang around her too much.

It's so strong of you to remember that everybody's life is a problem to solve, and it's never easy. But you don't need to be there for her now. I wish she never told you anything. I wish you had more thoughtful friends.

It has been so refreshing to read comments of it being normal to be jealous and to be angry as it is part of the healing and learning process, I feel that sites like this are for us to be able to be open and honest about our feelings whether or not they upset or offend others because it is what we are feeling at the time and it is NATURAL not going out of your mind or being selfish if you cannot be open and vent all feelings bad or good on this site then what is the point as we are all here for each other to support each other through what is the most difficult and painful times of our lives and those around us.......(vent all you like iramallo).......((hugs))

I too am enraged by this! I have lost 6 babies. We are looking into adoption. This woman is extremely selfish. How dare she terminate this pregnancy and end a life that could be loved by so many!

She did it, and came back to work today like nothing had happened. Just like if she had a tooth removed. She's ina great mood today b/c she got rid of her problem...
I am not speaking to her. I gave her a piece of my mind on Friday when she called me on the phone to ask me if having stomach pain was normal after the procedure. I asked her to please out of respect not to talk to me about that. She tried to fix it by telling me that she had been having some pain and was bleeding for about a week and that it seemed that she was having a m/c anyway. Is that supposed to make me feel better???? She didn't even bother asking the Dr. if there was a hearbeat. I feel so devastated by this. I can't look at her the same anymore and she knows it. I'll move on...she's the one that has to live with the guilt, not me.

Believe me, I understand. There are three women in my deaprtment who are all expecting right now. Three! There is no one else in the entire agency who is pregnant, but all three are right on top of me all day. It is devastating, I know. I am sorry this woman isn't more sensitive to what you have been through. Two of the three here both told me their pregnancies were "accidents".

Oh boy! I didn't see the last few posts to see she actually went through with it!!! I am glad you said something to her, I wouldn't have been able to hold back, either. Her "problem", huh? WOW. I would give anything to have her problem.

It's so hard to deal with people who are pregnant let alone someone who is pregnant and would intentionally change it. We didn't get that choice it was made for us so it's natural to feel angry towards her. Even though I'm sure it was a very hard decision for her to make knowing what you were going through she should have kept it to herself until later when you had some more time to heal. And I totally agree with Holly tell your other friend to stop complaining about her pregnancy to you. She may not realize it bothers you.

Ugh I don't even know this friend of yours and she already makes me sick. To think that I have been trying for over a few years with not much luck and someone selfishly is going to teminate a pregnancy. This girl definatly has issues, like deanna565 says there are so many people out there that would be more than happy to adopt a baby and give it a happy life. I'm sorry your so called friend is like this, but honestly like you even said " she has to live with this guilt for the rest of her life, not you".