Miscarriage Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have experienced the traumatizing event of a miscarriage or a stillbirth. Miscarriage remains one of the most common complication of pregnancy, but that doesn't make it easy to deal with. Join the group and find support in the company of others who know what you're going through.
Hello ladies
First I want to hug everyone who reads this! Because we are strong women and have went through something that most women couldn't even imagin...loosing their child/ children....
We are coming up on our due date of our second Angel Matthew...he was only 8 weeks old but he was my rainbow after the storm....I miss him everday and his other sibling which we never got the chance to find out the sex but we named the baby Taylor...but March 10th would have been Matthew's birthday....i am thinking about lighting a candle for him and if i get the nerve write him a letter and put it in him and Taylors memory box...Its hard but to all the women on here that just had a MC it will get better...your heart will heal....you dont think it now but in time it will.... You will one day be SO proud to celebrate that little life that impacked you so much! I know that is what I have done! I am SO proud of my babies and i keep them very close to my heart and even when my own grandmother told me 3 days after my D&C with my first MC to just get over it already i still talk about them and call them by name....they were my children if you dont like it get over it or leave...Dont let anyone tell you that they were just a cell and you werent even pregnant that long!! That is your baby! Anyway just was wanted to spread some of my story with you! If anyone needs to chat I am more than willing to help I have been then and found my way out ...
Hugs to you all!!!
First I want to hug everyone who reads this! Because we are strong women and have went through something that most women couldn't even imagin...loosing their child/ children....
We are coming up on our due date of our second Angel Matthew...he was only 8 weeks old but he was my rainbow after the storm....I miss him everday and his other sibling which we never got the chance to find out the sex but we named the baby Taylor...but March 10th would have been Matthew's birthday....i am thinking about lighting a candle for him and if i get the nerve write him a letter and put it in him and Taylors memory box...Its hard but to all the women on here that just had a MC it will get better...your heart will heal....you dont think it now but in time it will.... You will one day be SO proud to celebrate that little life that impacked you so much! I know that is what I have done! I am SO proud of my babies and i keep them very close to my heart and even when my own grandmother told me 3 days after my D&C with my first MC to just get over it already i still talk about them and call them by name....they were my children if you dont like it get over it or leave...Dont let anyone tell you that they were just a cell and you werent even pregnant that long!! That is your baby! Anyway just was wanted to spread some of my story with you! If anyone needs to chat I am more than willing to help I have been then and found my way out ...
Hugs to you all!!!
I really liked what you shared about being product to celebrate how much that little life impacted you. I have had similar sentiments. Feeling the anguish but all the while feeling the deep gratitude for the little life that brought me joy even for a short time. And how honored I felt to have carried him/her. It is an incredibly sacred feeling. And given the choice between never having gone through this versus going through this, I would in a heartbeat pick going through the loss. Because I feel some things (personal growth, etc.) have occurred through the tragedy.
I also like what you said about how it's not just "a cell". I am working hard on not reliving what insensitive things have been said to me. But I will share one in particular that is hard to move past. When I asked about what would be done w/the remains of my 9 week pregnancy....after the D&C...and the dr.....looked at me sort of oddly and said ------well this wasn't a "pregnancy pregnancy".
So yeah I learn to just move past others insensitive remarks. And they don't know how blessed I was or how incredibly touched I felt by this little life. So yes, to them it is "nothing". But not to us.
Thank you for sharing your story. I would like to hear more of how you found your way out. Because I find that I am doing much better these days (D&C was 12/12/12) but when my monthly period arrives, I experience a setback for a few days. And I do dig myself out and come back to a better place. But I'm hoping I can figure out a way to avoid that roller coaster ride in the first place.
Thank you for your post. I to have lost 2 babies, and very much like you I had unsupportive family and friends who did and still do tell me to get over it that I wasn't pregnant long enough to get attached. But that shows how much they don't understand. Their your babies and your their mother just because you are not with them doesnt lesson that.
There will be difficult days when you see a child that would be the same age as your own and you see what they are doing and realise what your baby and you have missed out on. Its a pain that doesn't ever go away but you learn to cope with it better. My babies would be 5 and 4 and it still affects me deeply. I too keep them both a box of memories and write them letters and cards I send to them by balloon or by setting them alight I find it helps.
You are strong and it helps having other people on here that understand your pain and are going through it themselves. Keep talking it helps x
I also suffered multiple miscarriages - for me it was 3 - January 14, 2012 (6 1/2 weeks), August 13, 2012 (6 1/2 weeks) and December 30, 2012 (8 weeks). The last one was the toughest because my husband and I heard the heart beat and we saw our precious angel. It took quite some time for me to get back to normal - or almost normal but it has been hard. Since last year I have changed my motto for like and instead of 'one day at a time' it is now 'one moment at a time'.
I do have to say that I have been very fortunate because I have never had anyone say to me to 'get over it' or 'it was nothing' or 'you weren't even pregnant'. I have had very supportive people all around me which helps in the healing process.
I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your story and letting us all know that things will get better but to never forget that we all have angels looking down on us.
Hugs to you as well.