Miscarriage Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have experienced the traumatizing event of a miscarriage or a stillbirth. Miscarriage remains one of the most common complication of pregnancy, but that doesn't make it easy to deal with. Join the group and find support in the company of others who know what you're going through.
HI Ladies. I have a quick question for any of you who are married, or who are in long term relationships. I am getting married this November and my fiance and I are trying to decide how long to wait to start trying for another baby. (we have had two losses) Some people have told me that they only waited a few months, while other's said its better to wait a few years. Before my losses I was pretty sure I didnt want kids till I was 35, but life has taught me that pregnancy is a miracle and things dont always go as planned. Part of me wants to try on our honeymoon,lol But my fiance has discussed waiting about 1-2 yrs, so that we can enjoy being married. I know 2 yrs isnt that long in reality, but part of me feels like its forever. I know this is ultimately a decision I have to make on my own, but any advice would be greatly appreciated.
We were married for 7 years before we even started trying for a family. There are a few reasons we waited so long, the major one being that I am going to be a SAHM and we needed to make sure financially DH could support us, but also we wanted to have time to ourselves. We knew that the minute that we had babies our lives would change forever...not in a bad way of course, but our life as just US would never be again. Even though all I've ever wanted to do in life is to be a mom, I knew that I would never get the time alone with DH again.
I would NEVER in the world trade the years we had together. When we got pregnant after the first month of trying it seemed perfect, absolutely perfect. That pregnancy (as you know) ended in a missed miscarriage at 14 weeks and the rest of last year was spent TTCing and we were both in a bad place the entire year. Now that we're expecting again the time couldn't be better. BUT at the same time before I got my BFP I feared what if we'd waited too long.
I am not sure if this answered your question or not, I guess my opinion is that having time as a married couple just the two of you is priceless and you're never able to have that time again.
I hope that you and DH are able to come to a decision you are both comfortable with.
When she was one we decided to have another, and have been trying sine then.
No one can tell you when you are ready to start your family. People get pregnant on honeymoons all the time, and their marriages don't suffer because they didn't have "alone" time. Your marriage and love grows with children. It depends on how you see it. If you see them as a hinderance, it won't be the wise thing for you. If you see them as something that enhances your marriage, you will grow in love for each other alone and through your children.