it's a double-edged sword because if you don't tell anyone no-one can offer support. On the other hand it's a painful experience to tell everyone you lost the baby.

I agree I think 6 weeks is way to early but I think some women dont think about the possibility of misscarriage at all. I know I would feel upset writing it on fb and then having to go back and say nevermind something happened. I dont kow why people do the things that they do. I just took myself off of fb because I cant handle it right now.

My husband and I told people when we were only 5 weeks, which now I know is way too early. We never even thought about the possibility of a miscarriage, if I could do it all over again I wouldn't have told anybody. Luckily we didn't post it on Facebook

Thanks everyone - I don't think there's anything wrong with telling close friends/family, etc but to post it on facebook is a whole other thing. I am sure I am much more sensitive to it given my history but I couldn't help but let it bother me.

I think that everyone has their own ideas of when a "good time" is to tell everyone. Personally, I didn't really "announce" mine except to my family. My immediate family knew right away and then I guess they started to tell everyone. By the time I reached about 8 weeks or so, more and more friends were beginning to know (slowly). I did not do any time of FB announcement though. My family was telling me that I announced it to them too soon. I mean, I was excited. I really want to have kids and when I saw that + sign, I called and texted my sisters the next day. I ended up miscarrying both babies around 13-15 weeks.

I feel like you are getting upset because you are still trying to heal and when other people announce their pregnancy, regardless of how early it might be, it will upset you (as it does me). I get angry when people announce it even when they are my friends :(
It sucks to feel that way but that's a part of grieving especially if you still really want a baby and others seem to just be popping them out with ease.

I hope this helps somehow. Everyone has their own opinion on when it's ok to make an announcement. We might not all agree with it.

Originally I was going to write about each of my pregnancies that actually was so long I think I ran out of type space. So here is shorter response.

Telling after a blood test I think is reasonable especially when you need your support system there for you all the way no matter what. Not telling about a pregnancy or a miscarriage can make you feel lonely on going through the expierence . I am also guessing they told , because they are bad at keeping secrets. You can't punish a person for being excited. Try not to pop their happy little bubble, and be there to support if you can. I think it can be a step toward healing yourself too.

I agree it is a little early, but in all due respect to everyone here, that is completely a personal choice. I am 36 years old and believe it or not I only opened up a FB account 2 months ago. I have 3 daughters, and our son on the way and have also had 3 losses. I found out at 4 weeks I was pregnant with my first and we told everyone! Miscarriage is something no one expects, at least I didn't. Then I got pregnant again and again we announced it only to lose our baby at 5 weeks. 5 months later we found out we were pregnant again and once again lost our baby at 5 and a half weeks. It was not until then that I thought about the possibility of something going wrong. Call it being naive or blissfully oblivious, but when you have not gone through a MC or loss, you just want the world to share in your overwhelming joy. With our last baby we lost 3 years ago we waited to tell anyone we were expecting until 9 weeks after we had seen the heartbeat and thought everything was ok, until we did lose him too at 10 weeks. I don't know that there is a safe time tell everyone, but we all have different needs for support. I did not mention my pregnancy on FB until I was about 19 or 20 weeks and that was only as family members from out of state wanted to know updates and because they are aware of our previous losses have been very supportive. I only have a few friends on facebook for that same reason. I don't need the whole world to know my business, but has been a blessing to when I receive messages of encouragement and prayers. Bottom line is we all need support somehow and we just gotta help those who need our support and if it is too painful for us, which I completely understand, we can always stay away from those places like FB that would trigger to do anything other than continue to heal. Peace be to all of you and I pray you are able to feel better.

My one friend told me right after she found out she was pregnant around 5-6 weeks, and I appreciated the fact that she was honest with me (and that it was via text, if that makes sense?) I figured she'd wait to do a FB announcement; boy was I wrong...the next day she was posting her "baby development" app or whatever, announcing she was pregnant. She has never miscarried or had complications, so she doesn't understand in the same way you, myself, and the other women on this site "get it."

My husband's friend keeps miscarrying but she also in the process continues to post pregnancy updates very early on. I guess in her case, she wants the support and wants people to know either way. I am with you and I feel that you have to be careful.

I'm sorry to hear about your losses. **Hug**
Any mention of pregnancy triggers my grief at some level.

I don't know who she has a friends on her FB account or
if she even posted it to "everyone", but it is a personal choice.

My first incomplete pregnancy I told a ton of people (didn't know any better) and then had to tell everyone it didn't work out.
My second incomplete, I told a bunch because I knew I would need support if it didn't work out.

Some people need bigger villages than others.

Blessings to you.

i don't know i told quite a few people before my miscarriage and I think it helped people understood when I was upset and gave me space. not telling makes you feel very isolated and lonely. I'm pregnant now and told my supports system very close friends but have kept it off fb. I don't know if I'll post on FB even at 20 weeks.

I'm sorry for your losses. You bring up a very important topic. Personally I decided not to tell people about my pregnancy as we've been trying for 2 years to conceive. Actually, I've got pg after my 2nd IVF cycle. So I just wanted to wait a little bit. I lost my baby on the 7th week. When I had a miscarriage I didn’t want to talk about it; to explain ‘I am having a miscarriage’. But what would have been nice is if, on top of dealing with my mess, pain, anxiety, and sadness, I hadn’t had the added stress of concealing it all. To think of a lie so I could go home early from work; and then more lies so I could stay home the next couple of days; more lies to deal with subsequent trips to the hospital and doctor – and then yet more: the lie of “I’m fine!” when I then returned to work. At some point, I understood that some family members and some friends just don't know how to support me. I made a mistake and told a couple of coworkers about my mc... All I can say people don't know what to say or they just don't want to know or they just don't care. I wish we lived in a perfect world, where people would be sensitive and supportive. And maybe someday it will happen...

I agree that 6 weeks is very early. We made the mistake of telling our friends and family about out pregnancy at 6 weeks and a week later I had a miscarriage. It hurt so much, not only because we were so ready, but because our parents were so happy that they were going to be grandparents. The whole family was hurt. The only thing that made it okay was the fact that they were there for us to grieve with and we didn’t have to grieve in secret.

Just felt safe and comforted among others. Just had another call. This is my first time experiencing surrogacy in faraway Ukraine. I really don’t know what to expect. how to feel or what is good or bad.
6 eggs recovered. 5 mature. Only 4 fertilised. 47% chance of development to blastocysts. Next phone call Mon to let us know how the embryos are doing.
I can’t help feel it’s not looking good.. Although I get it’s quality over quantity.
I know I should be feeling more positive.. Anyway, there is one more option – mitochondrial donation..I wonder what our dr will tell us in a meanwhile.

I think you are in good hands, and today there are lots of additional procedures that might boost your chances. Some friends of mine combined IVF with PGS NGS 360 and got 1st time success. I do not know much about mitochondrial donation, but if your doc recommends it, I would combine it with the treatment .